Getting very anxious when not knowing what to do

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21 Feb 2012, 4:56 pm

Does anybody else get very anxious when somebody says or does something, and then waits for your response/feedback in front of you, and you don't know what you're supposed to do in this situation? During such situations, I just don't say anything and turn away from the person, after which they tell me that "I'm weird" (how original!).



GreatHornedOwl
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21 Feb 2012, 7:51 pm

This happens often to me, if i don't know what to do I may start rocking or I kinda curl up if i'm sitting. Most people understand why I do this but i have been called "weird" often enough. It's a normal reaction if you have Aspergers Syndrome so just know other people get very anxious if they are unsure what to do or say. :)


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21 Feb 2012, 8:29 pm

Yeah, there are moments of lots of awkward silence between me and another person. But I'm impulsive too and will say whatever is on my mind and try to make it relevant. It doesn't always work out that way.

It gives me more frustration than anxiety though.


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21 Feb 2012, 11:32 pm

Yes I hate that...and its actually been happening a lot lately.


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21 Feb 2012, 11:57 pm

When I don't know what to do I freeze completely. I have huge issues with that.

That, and fear of sensory overload/migraines/other sensory issues, are the two anxiety problems I have.



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21 Feb 2012, 11:59 pm

I forgot to add usually people yell at me when that happens...or at least it seems like they're yelling and it makes it worse.


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22 Feb 2012, 1:27 am

I often freeze up temporarily, or stall by asking them to repeat themselves, etc., but it's not often that I do better with it on the second go-round.



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22 Feb 2012, 2:30 am

Atomsk wrote:
I often freeze up temporarily, or stall by asking them to repeat themselves, etc., but it's not often that I do better with it on the second go-round.


Yep



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22 Feb 2012, 4:24 am

I can usually process stuff fast enough so this isn't an issue, and in "emergencies" I can even shut out the anxiety and focus solely on "okay, what needs to be done here?" I put emergencies in quotes because the example that comes to mind is when I texted the girl I had feelings for asking if she could talk later that day (in such a way that she most likely guessed what I wanted to tell her). She agreed, and I waited around and studied for finals some. About an hour before she said she would be back at the building (class building, it was finals week), I decided to go get a drink from the vending machine. On the way there, I turn a corner and almost run into her. I hadn't been expecting her for another hour, so for a solid second or two my brain completely craps its pants before the "okay, ADJUST" reflex kicked in.

For those wondering how it went, I stuttered like hell, improvised what I said when I realized what I had planned sounded nowhere near as good as I thought it would, and completely forgot to think about eye contact. But she had the biggest smile the entire time, and she was extremely flattered and pleased. So it went great.

(She has a boyfriend, so I wasn't doing it expecting her to reciprocate those feelings; I was doing it because I didn't want to leave it unsaid. I didn't get my hopes up beforehand, and I did what I set out to do, so I have never felt better about a rejection in my life).


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SkipNip
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22 Feb 2012, 6:45 am

Yeah all the time. When I just take a guess as to how to react to it, the person usually starts giving me funny looks which I take as an indication that my reaction wasn't what they were expecting.



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22 Feb 2012, 9:40 am

How come NTs are allowed to call us weird without a problem, but we're always taught that we mustn't point out any NT's flaws because it's being too honest or too offensive?

SOMEBODY TELL ME!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !


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22 Feb 2012, 9:50 am

I usually just say "What exactly is it that you want?" or if I don't understand what someone means I say "Do what?" Depending on the situation, I may give them a look like they are being very unclear and need to straighten up and fly right.


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22 Feb 2012, 10:21 am

This happens to me all the time. Some people don't really mind, some might think it's very awkward.

I tend to either clarify or summarize what they said, or I give them a return question in the form of "So did you mean ...". Sometimes I forget to say anything and just think about what was said. When that happens I go silent, stare in the distance and I simply freeze completely until either they say something, or I came up with a reply.