Psyical contact...

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Hello, I am new...

I've relaised that I now HATE ANYONE touching me... Well not everyone, doctors and other people who HAVE to touch me can touch me... I never used to be like this... I was told that I have autism when I was 11 which was 7 years ago and now one of the symptoms; lack of intreast of reistance of psyical contact is now happening to me...

It all started with me wanting to save my hugs for my girlfriend whenever I got one which was a few years ago and then I met a girl who cuddled me which made me have a huge crush on her (This was from May to August of 2011) Her cuddles made me feel happy, warm, and wnated but to her they were just cuddles which hurt but I didn't care as long as I was cuddling her... I did eevntually tell her that I liekd her and she rejected me... After that I promised myself that I wouldn't cuddle anyone else unless they felt the same way about me... And I've nto had a cuddle since... but becuase of this I have emotional iusses and I'm always unhappy.

Back to the touching now... Whenever ANYONE tries to touch me I move awayas fast as possible and then brush away their touch... I just don't feel the need to touch anyone really, I only touch someone when I HAVE to or when I want to touch them... My parents think I have a mental illiness due to this as I won't let them near me nor will I go neat them due to me thinking that they will touch me...

I do not feel anythign for my fmaily as I think it is all illogical as family love is nothign mroe but somethign that is needed to make sure that the human species bsurvives... I do nto show any affection towards my family whatsoever...But if I could I would hug my sister but I cannot do such a thing as it woudl mean that I wuld have to hug everyone else in my family and that makes me feel werid...

Is anyoen esle like this?

Yes. Some of it is sensory and some of it feels like an invasion of personal space. Can you tell a difference in how you react to deep pressure as opposed to light touch? Light touch makes me want to swat the toucher away and immediately rub the area.

I would think that it is mostly light touching patting, I do not allow more inimate ways of touching i.e handshakes and hugging as their bodies are too close to me, but whatever what type of touch it is I always rub or brish the area... I don't mean to offend people. I just hate touching.

Do people like me ever have relationships?

Funnily enough, I don't get bothered by people touching me. In fact, I enjoy it. I only hate it when strangers touch me, but that's a different story. But in general, I love being touched. Unless a bloke comes upto me who I don't know and touches me somewhere he shouldn't, but that's also a different thing. Not many people like that.

You sound like you are primarily turned off by "invasion of personal space", but do have a certain amount of skin sensitivity as well--you mentioned "brushing off the touch."

I have skin sensitivities to things like rough seams, other clothing issues, and pet fur. Unfortunately, I have become more sensitive to pet fur over the years. I am also sensitive to my own molted hair. However, my own dislike of physical contact with others is based on not wanting my personal space invaded. I do occasionally force myself to engage in hugging relatives, as it would upset them if I didn't, but I don't like such contact.

I don't know of a solution to your feelings, as I have yet to find one for myself, but I do recommend you force yourself to go through with family hugs sometimes. They are your support group, so its a good idea to maintain the family bond with them, through things like hugs, and it is a bad idea to make them think you don't like them.--They might get to not liking you, and not helping you when you need the help.

If you are having trouble with this, you might benefit from talking to a therapist/psych doc about this.

I do have one advantage over you. I live alone, and some of the relatives who most want the hugs, live some distance from me all year, except for occasional visits, and others live far away for about half the year.

Do consider the occasional hug with your relatives. It will help in the long run.

I get bothered when people touch ME. But I tend to touch other people just to get a rise. I'm quite the annoying person off of the internet. I know the risks of being annoying but I love getting a rise out of people. Maybe I'm just an a$$hole. xDDD

I've always been very specific with who can touch me and how.

I tolerate handshaking from everyone (I usually prefer not to, but it's considered polite I guess). Some people also put their other hand on yours as well, I don't like that.

I don't especially like hugging strangers or relatives, unless they don't use their hands. Hands touching my back feels extremely intense. Some people can always hug me and use their hands, I'd only tolerate it from others if I'm the one initiating the hug.

After a few drinks however I'm a lot more tolerant with touching, but also less subtle when I still don't like being touched.

I don't like being touched. Luckily for me I rarely see any of my relatives besides my mother and the ones I do see don't try to hug me.

I do have a great aunt that sometimes visits once a year at most and they insist on hugging everyone when they leave. I just put up with it since it's only once a year if even that often.

I so want to hug you right now. Oh man.

I don't like to be touched either, unless it's sexual. When someone touches me and it's not sexual (i.e. Mom giving me a hug), it feels really weird and almost creepy. Because to me hugging has a sexual connotation. And I LOVE being touched when there are sexual undertones, but not in any other way. I tell people this who are close to me and they still insist on hugging. Ah well...

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Check out "Problem Child," my memoir of life with autism.