How does eye contact make you feel?

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Along similar lines, if I look into the eyes of an attractive woman, I really feel connected (too much so, sometimes). With other people, I do it as a curtesy. Sometimes I avoid looking at people when I am saying one thing, and I fear my facial expression is saying something different. I use several tricks when making eye contact, for quick meetings like at the check out line with a clerk, I try to look at the person long enough to see what color their eyes are, but I only look while words are exchanged. In conversation, as I mentioned in my first post, I mirror whatever eye contact I get from the person I am talking with. Nonetheless, I can still get nervous and over think it sometimes.

Last edited by RR on 27 Feb 2012, 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Embarrassed. I seem to believe that they can read me like a book, and know everything about me, while I know nothing about them. ... I have already forgotten their name too.

same here, depends who it is but usually i find it too close and too intimate

Uncomfortable, I feel like I'm staring at the person I'm talking to, or a passerby out on the street.

I tend to look slightly below them or behind them to fake eye contact. But generally I don't like it unless I'm looking at their eyes at which point I don't listen to them talking.

^ this.

And I get the feeling that the person I'm talking to is trying to get inside me - my thoughts, my inner being, without my authorization. The only person that I can look straight in the eyes more often than not is my girlfriend (and ex'es for that matter). Because it's only them that I'm willing to lay bare the whole me. Everbody else, even my immediate family, no-no.

It's just uncomfortable for me. Like last night when I was eating dinner in a fast food restaurant, there was this store lady who kept on looking at me in the eyes and smiling - gah, it sends chills all over me even though she got looks. And the first thing that comes to my mind - do I have something on my face? O.o

Interviews: I have to force myself to look them straight in the eyes. The way I do it is I tell myself it's a staring competition. And it relieves me if the interviewer is the first one, and second, third, fourth, to break eye contact. I was told and read that during interviews, always make eye contact no matter what.

At the end of an interview, I'm so drained because I have to do a lot of things simultaneously: [1] it's a staring game so stare back; [2] have to talk and think so I can say the right words; [3] listen attentively so I don't keep on repeating "pardon me", "could you repeat that" or look like I wasn't paying attention (which I am but it's an effort to grasp everything); and [4] to keep myself in check - because I keep on talking; oh and [5] keep my hands (and interest-attention) to where it should be - silent, quiet, still.

Eye contact the most draining for me in interviews.

I can glance at strangers briefly in the eyes, but most of the time I forget. But the sensation of looking people in the eye is uncomfortable... about as uncomfortable as kissing a total stranger on the mouth..... ICK. Way too personal. Just. ICK.

Very nervous and uncomfortable unless its someone i have a crush on, then entranced.

Kinda a coincidence that I came across this I thought to myself today that eye contact in certain situations makes me feel extremely anxious and I could feel myself starting to freak out..I think I have epileptic auras, or panic attacks (I went to the doctor about it and I'm soon to have a CT scan to figure out what I actually have)

Today I was talking to my TAFE teacher, keeping my eyes on his, and I felt an increasing need to stop and go sit down again.
This could have happend due to me eating sugar (sugr can have a (more than 90% of the time) negative affect, like anxiety or /panic attacks/epileptic auras.
Does anyone else feel like this after eating sugar? I also get really short tempered if I consume sugar..I hope others do too so I won't be alone

I don't feel in any way uncomfortable making eye contact as an adult but............

..........As a school kid I never made eye contact which made me look odd to the other children.
I've learned to do it now but never really know when it should be done or for how long.

I think I avoid it unconsciously when I am talking, but I do it when I listen.

It feels uncomfortable with complete strangers in the street, but otherwise, I don't really mind that much, unless I'm especially anxious. I've worked in customer service for five years, so I imagine it improved my interaction skills.

When I was younger, my mother would say I needed to make eye contact. However, my mother is crazily normative, so I never really cared. She doesn't now, so either it got better, or she got bored.

Sexy.

Eye contact is how NTs transmit hierarchy information to each other. When you look at them you're seeing not just one person but their whole society.

I'm not diagnosed as anything.
Eye contact just distracts me because then I have to see all the confusing face contortions that draw my attention away from what they're saying. Also if I'm focusing on staring at them all the time, I'm still distracted by the environment and trying to consciously ignore all of that stimulation means I can only focus on where I stare, not all of what they're saying.

It's probably more a ADD trait than aspie if anything.
Eye contact doesn't make me uncomfortable, it's just inconvenient. I can focus better if I allow my mind to wonder a certain amount. restricting that so much to suit others makes me feel really frustrated.

I often find in my family, we look at each other sometimes to make eye contact then look away while we continue talking. it's obvious we're listening to each other though. Outside of my family, people have more difficulty figuring out if you're listening or day dreaming, so I try to look at them sometimes, but other times I simply look somewhere else and nod with a hum. Usually works well enough.

I also find sometimes I just close my eyes for a while because if someone makes me focus on them too long, my vision goes out of focus and sometimes the florescent lighting makes my sense of colour go funny so I see everything glowing different colours and just want to go do something active. >.> So I close my eyes and nod a little in the hopes it looks like I'm in deep thought and agreement with their words. Although by that point I've not been listening to them for some time. aha
That works pretty well too.

Depends on the mood I'm in. If I'm not in the mood to "connect" with anyone while I'm out and about, it's not a problem because I just avoid it when I'm not in the mood for it. If I am, it's because I'm feeling fairly positive. Those times can be funny because that's when I notice that Autistics aren't the only people with eye contact problems. It amazes me how many people avoid eye contact when I feel like connecting with others. I have noticed that when I feel positive and intentionally look around to make contact with other people, most of the people who reciprocate are pretty positive themselves. It's cool when it happens.

If I'm not in the mood though, and somebody insistently tries to make eye contact, I find it invasive.

Invasive, accusatory, assaulting, might be words I'd use to describe how it feels to me... Maybe with the exception of when my wife makes that special kind of eye contact with me.

Charles

It depends on who it is. But most of the time is is very uncomfortable! I don't want to look into their eyes, but then I feel like if I don't they will notice something wrong, think I am not listening, and that makes me anxious, nervous and conflicted on what to do. If I do look, then it is only for a second. Then I do have a hard time listening to what they say because I am now preoccupied with how they are perceiving me and I get VERY anxious and nauseous and I drift off.