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S#!T Ignorant People Say To Autistics

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League_Girl
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02 Mar 2012, 1:34 pm

NarcissusSavage wrote:
jetbuilder wrote:
My biggest pet peve is people who insist on holding the door open or letting me infront of them in line.


I got yelled at by a guy in a wheelchair once for holding open a door for him. I got really upset and told him off, and said I hold doors open for everyone (I do) because its polite and he could shove off if he had a problem with a little kindness in the world. I felt really bad about it later, but I'm not sure that I was wrong about holding the door open.

Honestly, it is just efficient, and works better, if the first person in a group of people who wish to go through an auto closing door, whether they are a formal group or group of happenstance, that first person holds the door open for the group. Energy expenditure, time of ingress/egress, potential for mishaps, it’s just better all around, I don't understand why someone would get upset about it.



Maybe that is why there are so many rude people in the world, they don't bother to help because they are afraid it may offend you. Some don't even give up their seat for a pregnant woman because they are afraid of what if she was just fat, then she be offended. It's better to ask if they want help than be polite.



lilbuddah
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02 Mar 2012, 2:07 pm

Heidi80 wrote:
well, there'll always be ignorant people :roll:


Well thank goodness for that. Who else are we supposed to belittle as a community?
But seriously, that film is hilarious. "do you want a hug?".



AllenVincent
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02 Mar 2012, 2:09 pm

[b[u]]R E A L I TY C H E C K [/b] [/u]

What the hell are some of you doing with your head in the sand, your logic is fundamentally flawed and I'm sick of it ! ! This HORRIFIC video is the TRUE REALITY of the deep nuances of what some of you are saying...... Could this poor kid ask for help? ffs ! !!

WARNING it IS graphic and cruel but posting to make a valid and necessary point!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXEs9VkBiwQ
This is censored version http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... treet.html [u]

Wake up people..... PLEASE ! !![u]



Last edited by AllenVincent on 02 Mar 2012, 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

League_Girl
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02 Mar 2012, 2:35 pm

AllenVincent wrote:
[b]R E A L I TY C H E C K [/b]

What the hell are some of you doing with your head in the sand, your logic is fundamentally flawed and I'm sick of it ! ! This HORRIFIC video is the TRUE REALITY of the deep nuances of what some of you are saying...... Could this poor kid ask for help? ffs ! !!

WARNING it IS graphic and cruel but posting to make a valid and necessary point!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXEs9VkBiwQ
This is censored version http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... treet.html [u]

Wake up people..... PLEASE ! !!



So what's your point? Are you saying that people are not allowed to complain or talk about things that are not as bad as that incident in the video just because there are worse things that happen out there than this? I really hate that thinking people have.



eigerpere
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02 Mar 2012, 2:41 pm

Thanks, that made my day. :D



AllenVincent
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02 Mar 2012, 2:44 pm

League Girl your response reeks of ignorance AND ... far more damaging.... indignation. You were saying that one should only help disabled people if they ask for help, yes? What about those that cannot ask for help or those that try to ask for help but get ignored?

This is from personal experience, some crazy organisations...... because I am "capable" of asking for help, say they cannot help because I am "capable" of asking for help, therefore don't need help? ...wtf ????

So my response is, that poor little girl could NOT ask for help...... so by your logic her suffering is deserved because she didn't ask for help........ p.s. I'm enjoying a few drinks....so cheers and argh.... that poor poor poor girl ! ! I KNOW i WOULD risk my life to save others as i've done it twice, once in Australia and once here in England, both were close friends but crunch comes to the crunch I don't think think, I act.



Last edited by AllenVincent on 02 Mar 2012, 3:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

League_Girl
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02 Mar 2012, 2:53 pm

AllenVincent wrote:
League Girl your response reeks of ignorance AND ... far more damaging.... indignation. You were saying that one should only help disabled people if they ask for help, yes? What about those that cannot ask for help or those that try to ask for help but get ignored?

So my response is, that poor little girl could NOT ask for help...... so by your logic her suffering is deserved because she didn't ask for help........



I said you can ask them if they need help and if they say no, listen. Don't assume that people in wheelchairs always need help so it's better to ask. It's gets annoying for them when people always assume they need help when they don't need it. This is what I've learned in my teens.

Quote:
You're in luck, I like to treat everyone the same. Then of course I am probably seen as ignorant and self centered but the ironic thing is they are the ones ignorant. I have learned that never assume people in wheelchairs always need help. You can ask and if they say no, listen. We even had a class about that at my old job too about helping people in wheelchairs. it said to not assume they need help and it showed a woman in a wheelchair getting aggressive with hotel attendant when he tried to push her wheelchair. But lot of people just don't know this.



So what you posted about the video still makes no sense because that is a totally different situation than a person in a wheelchair going through a doorway. They are both not the same. I was appalled no one stopped to help the girl by calling the police or by trying to see if she is okay. Sorry, I still don't understand your logic.



AllenVincent
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02 Mar 2012, 3:05 pm

League Girl..... this is a rare occurrence so frame and print on your apartment wall :) ...... I apologise to you. Explanation... The comments that got me riled was writing by "NarcissusSavage" above but because I misread I thought it was from you as it was in your posting box...... I'm sorry. At least I'm fair and hold my hand up when I make mistakes.

The video of the poor girl still has relevance for those that state one should only help those that ask.... because that girl.... .... I've seen really bad s**t in my time.... but something about that video makes me want to scream at the injustice of mankind..... the poor girl could not ask for help... so those that say ( not you LG ) one should only help those that ask for help.... argh!!..... I am going to shush on this subject now as ...... I'm gonna shush.



eigerpere
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02 Mar 2012, 3:06 pm

aspiefeminist wrote:


The ability to "pass" for "normal" is a form of privilege. I don't get stared at and I can fake social skills better and therefore people react to me more normally which makes it easier to socialize with them. However, the assumption is that because I don't seem autistic/aspie socially, that all of my other skills match up. I have a lot more trouble dealing with disability services at school and professors because they assume I'm competent and don't need accommodations. Also, since I can pass more easily socially when I get close to a meltdown or something I'm judged harshly for my actions. If I leave the room to have a meltdown/prevent one without the proper social script first, I'm viewed as rude.

For those of us who have the privilege to pass, we have to tell people sometimes. They don't automatically realize and give us the space and flexibility that we need. Instead, we have to constantly remind people of things we can't do and sensory issues.


I find being able to pass as normal a living nightmare. I can only pass from a visual standpoint. However when I try to talk everything falls apart and is impossible to explain on a daily basis. Using a text to speech program is also stigmatizing and limiting. I guess you're talking about people who can also speak fluidly.

At least when the disability is visible people are generally able to understand and there's a greater chance of being accepted more readily.



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03 Mar 2012, 11:06 am

I didn't mean for this to become a big debate. My point was that it's okay to ask someone if they need help. If they say no, don't insist on helping! I should have said my pet peve is people that don't take no for an answer or get offended when i refuse help.
I posted that because of the part in the video when she said ''Have a hug..... What do you mean you don't want a hug?!''


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03 Mar 2012, 6:15 pm

I heard some of the s**t from two persons and instantly stopped telling about AS-related things. It worked!