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y-pod
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13 Mar 2012, 1:50 am

I was wondering if other aspies hate being ask questions, especially those out of the blues. Everyone who knows me well know I don't like being asked questions unless it's related to one of my interests. I hate not knowing the answers.

Those telephone surveys are quite annoying enough. I usually state that I don't know anything related to their topic and they still want to ask you the whole list of questions. Harder to avoid are my parents, who never seem to have got to know me. My dad doesn't usually talk very much, but whenever he calls he always "has a question for me". So far every question he asked me this year has been something I don't know, like buying a new car (I don't drive), house repairs (like I do any) or tax tips (we're in different countries). Last time I got fed up and told him not to ask me any more questions unless it's related to girly stuff, like jewelry, makeup, clothes or cooking. He stopped for a while, and just called tonight at 10:30 about tips on fumigating cockroaches (I've never even seen a cockroach.). I don't know what to do? I know I shouldn't be this bothered by people asking me questions. But I think I have an innate need to be able to answer questions correctly and fix problems. So random questions I don't know about or don't care about really annoy me. :( My dad is not stupid and he can figure out all sorts of things himself. He has a phD in physics and has been a successful scientist. I wonder if he just harass everyone's opinion for "data collection" purpose.

My mom is a whole different story, she asks me all sorts of things, too, many very strange. At least she has the excuse of being not bright and thus have to ask for other people's opinions.

Anyway I think I'm all sensitized after my parents, now I hate most questions, especially stupid ones.


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fraac
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13 Mar 2012, 1:53 am

What's it to ya?



so_subtly_strange
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13 Mar 2012, 2:14 am

fraac wrote:
What's it to ya?

lol

yes sometimes i hate any sort of question. it doesnt matter if its a stupid one or a relevant one. The nature of the interaction of someone demanding information can be incredibly irritating



Davuardo
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13 Mar 2012, 2:43 am

I wonder if your dad just asks you these questions because he is looking for an excuse to talk to you

Remember, neurotypicals don't do things on face value, he probably doesn't give two hoots about your tax tips, he just wants a conversation.


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enrico_dandolo
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13 Mar 2012, 3:11 am

I hate it from my parents. They don't ask my for tax tips, but they always want to know what I did, what class I went to, if it was interesting, if I liked supper, when is my next exam, if my hypothetical exam went well, etc., which I find quite uninteresting, especially since the answer is always the same to all these questions (respectivally: "Nothing interesting", "It's on my schedule on the fridge", "Yes", "It's food", "Somewhere in the future", "Which?"/"Yes").

Otherwise, I don't know, because I rarely talk to other people, and they don't ask questions.

I think Davuardo is right, however. I just don't understand the interest.



TenPencePiece
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13 Mar 2012, 4:23 am

Sometimes, yes


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CrazyCatLord
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13 Mar 2012, 4:46 am

I never don't pick up the phone unless I'm expecting a call, so telephone surveys don't bother me. They are pretty rare here anyway. What bothers me more are people who pull up their car next to me and ask for the way when I'm about and about. I couldn't help them even if I wanted to, because I can't remember street names :? I only use landmarks such as shops to find my way. So I usually lie and tell them that I don't live here.



HairlessAlbinoCat
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13 Mar 2012, 5:04 am

I only hate questions to emotional matters or things that relate to what I liked or did not liked- They bother me because most of the time I don't know or have a remote clue and apparently one should always say fine even when you are not to the question how are you? , it is all very confusing, otherwise I don't think I mind questions as long as they are at least of near-intellectual matter otherwise I feel like an alien trying to figure out something that has no scientific way of deducting. I just hate such questions.



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13 Mar 2012, 5:18 am

I don't usually mind questions, in fact I often enjoy trying to give a good answer - why do you think I hang about on WP? Questions make me think......I like that. Also I used to do quite well in my first school with the work, and I guess I bulit up a "reward habit" of giving the desired answer to the teachers' questions and being praised.

But telephone questionnaires, forget it. Sure, some of the questions present a bit of a challenge, but mostly they're just trying to get my personal details and profile me so they can sell me stuff I don't want. To my mind that is malicious so I don't co-operate.

I also would find it frustrating if somebody kept asking me questions that a moment's thought would tell them I wasn't qualified to answer. A partner of mine used to keep asking questions about what was going on in the films we watched together. I would wearily point out that I didn't know, and she would then say that it was only a rhetorical question. But she used to catch me out with it every time....I never managed to get au fait with the idea that her questions didn't need answering. I guess I still have a very black-and-white view of anything with a question mark......it feels totally wrong to ignore questions. Perhaps that's why I can feel so annoyed when people ask me inappropriate questions........if I could just disengage without feeling bad, it would probably be water of a duck's back. But without an answer, a question is an unresolved thing that screams out at me to put it straight.



Seashell
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13 Mar 2012, 5:44 am

I don't like questions either, especially if I'm put on the spot. I feel like I'm being interrogated. I don't mind yes/no questions or factual questions, but if I'm asked "what do you think about ...?" I don't know what to say because most of the time I genuinely don't know what I think.

When writing essays at university I had difficulty with open-ended questions. Multiple-choice questions were easier because you don't have to come up with an answer yourself. Anything that requires me to organise my thoughts into a coherent answer I find very difficult.



psychegots
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13 Mar 2012, 5:53 am

enrico_dandolo wrote:
which I find quite uninteresting, especially since the answer is always the same to all these questions (respectivally: "Nothing interesting", "It's on my schedule on the fridge", "Yes", "It's food", "Somewhere in the future", "Which?"/"Yes").
I think Davuardo is right, however. I just don't understand the interest.


Second that...!



Ria1989
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13 Mar 2012, 9:21 am

Davuardo wrote:
I wonder if your dad just asks you these questions because he is looking for an excuse to talk to you

Remember, neurotypicals don't do things on face value, he probably doesn't give two hoots about your tax tips, he just wants a conversation.



Yep. That happens all the time.


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Tequila
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13 Mar 2012, 9:25 am

Yes. Including the question you just asked me.



Blindspot149
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13 Mar 2012, 10:25 am

I am much more comfortable with questions if I have been given some advance notice/warning.
- Particularly business meetings

One thing I despise is being ambushed with questions over a 'business lunch'

Which idiot first got the idea of a working lunch/dinner/breakfast?
- Gobbling food between soundbites
- Talk about an anxiety trip

I generally prefer to eat alone, unless with my family.

When the food arrives at a 'business lunch' I sometimes feel like throwing the plate of food at the wall, turning the other person and inviting them to commence their interrogation.

Business meeting - cup of coffee, glass of water
Meal time - shut up and let me eat my food in peace!


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mindmapper
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13 Mar 2012, 10:37 am

To me, the worst kind of questions are redundant questions. My was always good at these, for example, a question he would always ask when he went to bed and I was the only one left awake:

him: "Do you want to watch TV?"
me: "No"
him: "So I can turn it off?"
me: "I don't want to watch TV, so yes you can turn it off"

It's the same question in a different coat, it's so inefficient it annoys me a lot. No matter how many times I told him the second question was redundant, he would always do it again. Argh.

Also the 'little questions' often asked by parents are annoying, as enrico pointed out. I don't mind one or a few of these, but there would always so many of them, and they distract me from whatever I'm thinking about.



Matt62
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13 Mar 2012, 10:49 am

Hmm, Why do you ask? ROFLOL
Seriously, I hate personal questions or those on subjects that i have no interest in. Even "how's it going?" can be annoying. I have to fight the urge to explain my arthritis/Crohn's is active. But I do not want to lie either..
I try to be neutral when on the job because of that..
Personal questions get evasions mostly. Unless you are a rare, CLOSE friend of mine.

Sincerely,
Matthew