Do aspies want friends or not?

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I do want friends, and I've had them. Maintaining the relationship seems nearly impossible though.

It usually happens like this:

I meet someone, we get along, find common ground, etc. We talk and such. It's great!

Then, they never call me, invite me to anything, etc. And I just let it go because most of the time I'm bad at maintaining relationships anyways. I'm the person who won't return someone's call for like a week. I find it near exhausting to try to go out and be sociable with people Oh well.

Thank you.
I can relate to relating to those particular characters as well. The dispassionate pursuit of logic and order, the quiet, deep introspection, and the desire for solitude are all characteristics which I value. To me they are more of a family than I have ever had.

When I was in my teens, I sooo wanted a friend or two. I was so lonely and such a social misfit in school. I had one friend in high school - she was also a social misfit, but we never did anything together outside of school. I didn't know how to make friends, and really, I still think I don't know how.

Now that I'm older (mid 40's), I think it would be nice to have an intellectual friend to match each of my interests *lol*, but since that is extremely selfish and unrealistic, I'd be okay with a friend I could talk with now and then. I'm a homebody and I'm married. I don't feel the need to go out to socialize, but I would appreciate making friends with a local musician or two to jam at my house.

Ever since I've been online (since the 1990's), I've found that virtual social interaction can be interesting and very enjoyable. However, it's not the same as having a friend in person.

I usually end up offending people when I don't mean to, so my communication skills are severely lacking. And, at the moment, there's no one in my life who I would go out of my way to make friends with.

Last edited by goodwitchy on 14 Mar 2012, 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I like the concept of having friends.

I want friends, but everybody I meet who seems nice at first turns out to be so what "evil".

In my world anyway...

It's a great concept. The reality, in my experience, is a little over rated and often very disappointing

I definitely want friends. My problem is that I struggle with social skills and social interactions at times.

I have friends, but only a few of them are close. I find it easy to make drinking-buddy type friends but INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to make any sort of close friends. I want to have them, but I don't feel like anyone can really understand me, so it's better to keep people at a surface level. Even with my close friends (I have about 3) I often feel alone and alien.

me, too.
i dont want friends. when people start befriending me i get annoyed, depressed, bored, frustrated. i noticed every time someone, man or woman, starts dropping by my house, i feel it like a burden and wish they'd go away. someone came to my house to talk to me. i felt on edge and SUFFERED, i actually suffered the whole time. i was sooooo glad when he left, and he's a very nice person and i do like him a lot, and he's interesting, too.
i used to want friends and relationships when i was in my twenties, but as soon as i made friends with someone, time crawled by very slowly whenever they were around, and i breathed a sigh of relief when they were gone. so, if that's the way it goes, i dont want it. it makes me miserable then i dont want it. and i'm happier with the company of animals. never get tired of them.
also, it's hard for me to make friends and i'm extremely shy, but that i could overcome, because some people did want to be friends with me. it's me who can't handle it.
what's so great about friends, anyway?

I am in a very strange position when it comes to relationships.

Family-wise, it varies. Some days I'm wonderful and huggy, but most of the time, I don't want to be near them. Not being they're bad, they're a good family, but just... because.
Romance-wise, I've had a surprising amount of boyfriends. But most ended because of the bothersome symptoms of my Aspergers.
Friend-wise, I actually have a lot. I was somehow blessed with the ability to make friends. Now of course it has been a bumpy road, but I have some very, very close friends. I need my friends.

But of course, I still want time to myself. That is critical.

I suppose I'm an Aspie that seeks... balance.
Me-time, relationship-time, two separate things. When they clash... Oh god it's horrible ఠ_ఠ

I like my friends because they make me laugh, sooth me when I'm having a panic attack, listen to me, and give me the hugs that I need. Ever get that? When you don't want people touching you? I want hugs. I love hugs. But I'm only comfortable with hugs from the people that become my friends.

But I suppose I can understand not wanting friends to always be around you. It often becomes difficult for me to hang out with my friends, say, on weekends, for extended periods of time. Or, if they're at my house. Because I feel sometimes my stims and other quirks need to be censored, and of course I need my me-time.

Finally having a friend, I can say that somebody to talk to about stuff makes a big difference! Would like a few more but...