Multiple Obsessions and Loyalty Divided

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I find it very difficult to enjoy a variety of interests, because I want to remain loyal to the things that I've been obsessed with the longest. I'm afraid that having my attention divided among multiple obsessions makes me less loyal to each of them, rather than if I'd just had one or two interests to devote all my time and attention to.

But on the other hand, I sometimes find that my main obsessions become stale and so secondary obsessions are good for keeping me mentally occupied and artistically inspired until my main obsessions go back on the upswing.

But that still doesn't lessen the feelings I have of being torn between the things I love. I feel envious of a couple of my aspie friends, because they are like me in the respect that they are highly imaginative and creative, yet so different than me in that they feel no conflicting loyalties between their special interests and seem to just go with whatever interest they happen to like at the moment with no guilt or shame.

I feel imprisoned by my own fabricated system of special interest loyalty vs. treason, and my imagination suffers because of it. In contrast, I feel that the multiple, fluid interests of my friends makes them free-spirited and their imaginations flourish because of it.

I hope I'm making sense, because I don't feel like I am.

My two questions are:

- Do you ever experience the feelings I talked about?
- How can I become more relaxed about my special interests?

Yes, I always feel this way when I get a new very intense special interest. I feel like I'm "cheating on" my old SIs. I think the best way to handle it is to just try and shrug it off. As you mentioned, your primary special interests are inevitably going to be revived with a vengeance, so try not to sweat it. While it may feel like you're "betraying" your biggest SIs, and you may worry that your new passion means you don't love your old SIs anymore, you seem to be like how I am- you WILL eventually return to your old SIs and will never love them any less. So, just try and enjoy the thrill and the rush you only can get from a brand-new SI and not spoil it with worry.

Thank you OddDuckNash. You made me feel better.

It's true. I myself have in the past suddenly become interested in certain movies and video games again after not looking at them for a while.

Thank you for replying to my topic, Kyle. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my feelings.

Just think of it as distancing yourself from those particular SIs long enough to come back to it with a fresh mind and a new capacity to appreciate it.

I understand what you mean. Recently, I was thinking about my interests and I felt like I had too many...I don't have enough time to enjoy as many things as much as I would like to.

I have been pretty much "obsessed" with wrestling for about 13+ years, but I don't know if I should be. A lot of people make fun of me for liking it...a lot of the time, I feel embarrassed watching it...I used to like going to wrestling shows, but I don't know other people who like it, so I was going alone, 4+ hours on public transport and I felt drained afterwards.

I thought a few days ago that I would rather spend my time and money on my interests/obsessions that don't make me feel guilty or embarrassed...I boxed all my DVDs (a few hundred) up yesterday, and took down my posters and boxed up all my action figures earlier tonight.

I haven't had time to move other things into their place yet and now Im not sure if I was right to take everything down, and I actually feel sad writing about it now.

Maybe it's best to just be at peace and comfortable with the things we like...

I don't think there's any harm in having more than one interest I think its good and as you get older you"ll have plenty more.

I thought I was the only one who did this! I lose the intense interest in something and become interested in something new all of a sudden. Then when I least expect it, the old interest comes back with a vengeance. I feel this way all the time.

Oh, yes, totally. Especially if I've told someone about it then they ask "why? I thought you were obsessed with---------!" then I get really guilty

I do this. Sometimes I will revisit old special interests, and...well I had an experience not too long ago, where I revisited punk rock... I was quite obsessed with punk rock for a long time, and strayed away. Now I am revisiting it out of loyalty, but it's like it doesn't quite hold what it used to for me... it's sad... it's like every special interest is a significant other, and sometimes you have to move on.