I want to be "cured"

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I agree with rdos, I don't feel the need to be cured or for my oldest son to be cured and even if my youngest does end up on the spectrum... we are all who we are for a reason and will learn to overcome challenges and help each other and accept who we are.

You expressed exactly how I feel about it.

This is completely wrong. Stupid people lack this insight, intelligent people don't. It has nothing to do with aspieness. Infact an intelligent NT is probably more likely to have better introspection than an intelligent aspie, since they're more likely to have a better emotional understading - although an aspie's intrevertedness could lead to introspection.

It's sad how bitter many aspies here are. It's sad, but also understandable.

What a great discussion! For me too, having AS has been a tough life. But it's the only one I've got and so I keep going, day by day. Really important to me from childhood was independence. I was going to make it on my own. And I have. Alone. I accept it now. I live alone in a house with a cat and I'm OK with it.

Krex and ZanneMarie, I know what you mean. Despite our difficulties, we have the ability to think logically. It makes no sense to have a job that requires a lot of social interaction and noise and multitasking if you can't do that (and I can't). I work in a technical field where I can focus on the details of a single project, and have others handle the client interface. We can with effort get by in this world, and we can try to make it a little better for others too.

As for feeling bitter, I've felt bitter about a number of things over the years and it didn't feel good but I couldn't stop it until the time was right. And then I just let go of it. So many years of justifiable blame... So much wasted effort too adopting the values of a society that are not for me true. The good news is we have our minds and we can use our minds to have a good life.

Recently I began reading the works of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. The kind of life descibed is one that I find consistent with the solitary life I lead. Oops, sorry. I'm off on a tangent...

Notice I said MOST NT's. There are good, decent and intelligent NT's out there, just not very many of them and that, unfortunately, has been my experience.

this is a very good question.
i am very interested in the underlying cause of as.
but what would i do if they figure it out and a way to cure it?
is it too late or can i start again? i think it is too late.
maybe it is an illness but it is also a big part of my personality.
i have got only a few friends but what would they say if i were suddenly another?
i think i would wait and have a look at cured aspies.
then i would decide.

I think with NTs it's all about finding the payoff for you. It isn't necessary to judge or be jealous about it. You just have to think logically about why you want to be with them. Some Aspies are more extroverted and get energy from other people. I think they may see NTs and think, Wow! They're really interacting and giving off alot of energy that I want. Other Aspies, like me, are just incredibly introverted thinkers and get no energy from other people. I get none. My Extrovert and Feeler are both Zero and that's what it means. I get no energy from other people or their emotions. I get energy from myself and my thoughts. It's just a difference and it helps to navigate the world between NT and Aspie when you know that. For me, it means that most NTs are going to zap my energy. It isn't because they are bad people, in fact most people are extroverted and feelers. What it means is that they get their energy a different way than I do and that's okay. We don't all have to be friends.

There are things I know about NTs from navigating the world with them. Their brain works differently which is why they know that subtext we don't. They think everyone has that because they've been raised that way. That's why they can't explain themselves. It isn't stupidity or anything else, but it also isn't some secret they were taught and you weren't. They were born with it. They were born with wiring that makes that process natural for them. We weren't. It's that simple. We can learn to fake enough to get along and certainly if you want to be around social, emotional people, you should learn it. However, if you are zapped by that, you need to look at other avenues because they are logical for you. They are your avenue for success. Being Aspie does not mean you won't be successful. Trust me, no matter who told you that or why you feel that way, that is not true.

If NTs zap you (or you later find out they do), get into groups or work where you meet more geeks and Aspies. You'll feel right at home. We live in a technological age. We live more and more isolated from each other in a face-to-face sense. That is a world where Aspies can flourish, so all of this talk about us not making it is hogwash. I made it in the day of Miss Manners and Emily Post for crying out loud. Everything was Beaver Cleever and Ozzie and Harriet. You can't get much more NT than that. You may have more stims than I do, but you'd have to be pretty far off the Richter scale to match my overall bizarre behavior. What I am saying is don't give up because there's no cure. I made it. I have had a happy life and I actually had it quite young from what I've seen on here. If I could do that without hiding how bizarre I was, you can do it. You can learn what you need to know. Don't you dare let anyone tell you that you can't do this. You hang onto yourself and believe in yourself. Go out there and just take the world. Don't wait for permission. You do not need a different brain. You just need the determination to never give up and believe in who you are. You are worth knowing. Never forget that.


And by the way, I have two NT friends I've had for 47 years. My siblings are all NT and we are close. My father was very NT and I loved him to death. I even married a NT.

lets talk epilepsy cure, I can handle being socially ret*d if I can drive

Great advice, but HEY, I LIKED Beaver Cleever! 8-( OK, he wasn't the brightest, but he WAS asking WHY, etc...

Mkultra,

AS IS pervasive. How could anyone CURE such an EXISTING condition? It would be like trying to make an AMD chip into an INTEL chip while it was running!

And would merely looking at a "cured aspie", which I don't believe can EVER exist, prove anything?

Steve

[quote="SteveK]
Mkultra,

AS IS pervasive. How could anyone CURE such an EXISTING condition? It would be like trying to make an AMD chip into an INTEL chip while it was running!

And would merely looking at a "cured aspie", which I don't believe can EVER exist, prove anything?

Steve[/quote]

I always have this picture of them running voltage into our brains to get the messages across. LOL

I'll tell you what I really want. I want them to stick a jack in my head so I can back up all of this old data I pull out and use at work. I don't like that it clogs up my harddrive. If I back it up, I can do a purge file and store even more data. That would be fantastic!

I like your advice to basically be yourself, no matter what, though I feel it can be hard for those among us who are more sensitive to the criticisms and bullying of others. I find myself incredibly sensitive to things others might call me, but I suppose that is down to my poor self esteem also. I imagine those who have a well established sense of self respect and self love would not be especially affected. Afterall, everyone's behaviour tends to come down to their own experiences and their own subjective opinions.

And your avatar...what is it? I can see it is an area of that great out there, but which part?

tyb, Asperger's does not stop you from learning the social skills that don't come naturally to you. By adulthood, most of us can pass as "nerdy NT" anyway. Go get yourself into a social skills class and start learning.

you are very lucky to find someone.
i am 41 and i have no one. i make myself socialize in order to try and find someone and it is hopeless. the kind of men who are attracted to me are the kinds of men you don't want, abusive in one way or another. they see my naivete as "easy to victimize for fun".

i think being born completely autistic and therefore devoid of the desire to have a significant other would have been far better than this in-between place.

My avatar is the fastest spinning star! It's sucking matter off the object closest to it. I love you avatar, by the way. It's great.



Okay. Here's the deal with those feelings you have. You need to force yourself to put your emotions in an box (actually, this is an NT exercise they use in work environments). When you get your emotions in that box, go back and look at the situation. You are make so many assumptions about those people and they are just not true, although they work hard to make you think they are and they are succeeding. This is the deal with NT socialization. It is about alot of saying things you don't mean and posturing. So, these people picking on you is about posturing and you need to start seeing it for what it is. It is not an intellectual exercise on their part. It's very primal. It's very akin to what dogs do in pack order. In pack order, dogs will posture with each other. They will raise hair, growl, push each other, grab necks and so on. That's what all of that bullying and teasing is. That is all it is. It is just a bunch of humans posturing for their place in society (the pack). If they can psych you out (fool you) into thinking that they are right, they just moved over you in pack order. What does that get them? Not much in a technological world. Primal superiority may get them a mid-level management job in a manufacturing firm or on a Construction crew, but it really doesn't amount to much in a technological world. Intelligence has more play there.


So, when that starts happening, pull your mind back and picture those people as dogs instead. If you can't picture this, watch "The Dog Whisperer" because that guy talks about it all the time and shows it. That will give you a clear visual of it. Concentrate on seeing them that way instead of hearing what they are saying and seeing them as other people. See them as the behavior they are displaying. Then, you will stop respecting it and realize it for what it is... primal posturing. Establishing pack order. Acting like a bunch of dogs. They will lose their power when you successfully see them that way and you will be the one who does not back down. You will be the one who moves up the rung in the posturing. Because that's all it is. It's all about seeing who backs down first. It's human behavior at its most primitive, so stop giving it so much value. It doesn't mean they are worthless, but that behavior pretty much is at the lowest end of the evolutionary scale.


Hopefully that helps a bit. You'll have to practice, but if nothing else, it will distract you while that happens. Just remember, put your feelings in the imaginary box first so you can be logical.

My avatar is the fastest spinning star! It's sucking matter off the object closest to it. I love you avatar, by the way. It's great.



Okay. Here's the deal with those feelings you have. You need to force yourself to put your emotions in an box (actually, this is an NT exercise they use in work environments). When you get your emotions in that box, go back and look at the situation. You are making so many assumptions about those people and they are just not true, although they work hard to make you think they are and they are succeeding. This is the deal with NT socialization. It is about alot of saying things you don't mean and posturing. So, these people picking on you is about posturing and you need to start seeing it for what it is. It is not an intellectual exercise on their part. It's very primal. It's very akin to what dogs do in pack order. In pack order, dogs will posture with each other. They will raise hair, growl, push each other, grab necks and so on. That's what all of that bullying and teasing is. That is all it is. It is just a bunch of humans posturing for their place in society (the pack). If they can psych you out (fool you) into thinking that they are right, they just moved over you in pack order. What does that get them? Not much in a technological world. Primal superiority may get them a mid-level management job in a manufacturing firm or on a Construction crew, but it really doesn't amount to much in a technological world. Intelligence has more play there.


So, when that starts happening, pull your mind back and picture those people as dogs instead. If you can't picture this, watch "The Dog Whisperer" because that guy talks about it all the time and shows it. That will give you a clear visual of it. Concentrate on seeing them that way instead of hearing what they are saying and seeing them as other people. See them as the behavior they are displaying. Then, you will stop respecting it and realize it for what it is... primal posturing. Establishing pack order. Acting like a bunch of dogs. They will lose their power when you successfully see them that way and you will be the one who does not back down. You will be the one who moves up the rung in the posturing. Because that's all it is. It's all about seeing who backs down first. It's human behavior at its most primitive, so stop giving it so much value. It doesn't mean they are worthless, but that behavior pretty much is at the lowest end of the evolutionary scale.


Hopefully that helps a bit. You'll have to practice, but if nothing else, it will distract you while that happens. Just remember, put your feelings in the imaginary box first so you can be logical.

Last edited by ZanneMarie on 21 Feb 2007, 6:06 am, edited 1 time in total.