Is planning ONLY ok if you made the plans?

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I have trouble deciding on plans, so I don't mind others making the plans and letting me decide if it is something I could do. If I agree and go, don't make changes to those plans as things could and do turn ugly. One time we agreed to go to a restaurant another member and i were looking forward to. Then another member decided she wanted sushi instead, so they suddenly switch plans to her whim without even consulting me and did not know soon enough so i could back out. As i can't eat sushi due to my food issues with ASD, i told them i couldn't order anything there. When told that was not an acceptable option, i broke into a nervous breakdown. And it did not help that they were trying to force feed me that. Went so bad that i never saw them again.

I like to make my own plans. I only like other people's plans if they're mostly what I would do anyway. Like others here, I have to know what's going on in advance. I really hate being dragged around, not knowing what's happening.

I have a problem with feeling like someone is telling me I have to do something when they make plans. I REALLY hate when someone tells me I have to do something, even if it's in my own best interests. I have to try really hard not to "cut off my nose to spite my face" as they say. I generally like making plans myself, but I'm ok with other people making plans as long as I am either included in the making of the plans, or am told as soon as the plans are made. Better yet, being told what the general plans will be BEFORE they are made is best. And as everyone else has said, don't make changes to plans unless it is completely unavoidable. And if that's the case, give as much warning as possible. When I'm going to be doing something new or something where I may be forced to enter into a social situation, I need a lot of mental 'pumping up' so to speak or else I get so terrified I'll refuse to do anything.

I prefer to make my own plans, but if it's a choice between someone else's plan (that they stick to) and being dragged around by someone with no idea what's going to happen next, I'll take someone else's plans any day.
Something that is important to me when making plans is to make sure I have plenty of time with no activities scheduled, as without this I can't relax, and to have a buffer zone of time between scheduled activities, as I am not good with transitions, and even if I really like the activities I'm doing, the difficulty of the transition can spoil it for me.

I have problems like this with my mother. If I'm reading this right. Basically, by telling us the plans, we overthink the plans and get overwhelmed at them, if that makes any sense. I feel in my own life, I have to plan out everything I do in advance, and nothing seemingly "happens" and even a thing like, say, driving to the store, involves a bit of planning regarding what I'm gonna do, and of course, some deviance always happens in those plans.

So as far as planning, I guess that's sorta right, planning is only OK if you get control over the plans. I think the main thing, by getting told the plans, it's overwhelming as it's all stuff we have to take into account and add into the equation, if you will. I find it especially annoy how my mom will like, ask me questions like "So when we build an addition onto the house..." I think things like that are tough for me, as I tend to naturally think longterm, but real life makes me think short term, so I have to devote all my thought process to short term planning to get anything done in the short term, I have some long term plans, and I'd love to make more, but those longterm plans are very pointless if you cannot do what you need to do in the short term for that day. So for your sons, they might just get overwhelmed and feel like this: http://thecaptainsblogdotme.files.wordp ... -meme1.jpg when you go off and tell them a bunch of "long term" plans, as they're probably just so busy planning for short term, things you'd consider simple or without thought process, that they just get overwhelmed.

I don't know if what I'm writing is making sense at all, but yeah...

I answered yes, if you mean putting something on the calendar to do, making appointments, planning get-togethers. But even my plans sometimes become problematic for me. I can be a lot braver and carefree when planning something that is out of the ordinary for me well in advance than I am when the date gets closer.

I don't care who makes the plans as long as I know exactly what will happen.

I prefer to make the plans, though it can be tiring trying to organise disorganised people. I like having the control though and having things on my terms.

I don't mind following some other people's plans though if I know that they're a reliable person, I have a couple of very organised friends and I know that they always stick to their arrangements.

I am rigid. I can make about 2 phone call appointments per year. Maybe less, some years. I can handle my mother visiting every summer, she's as predictable as I and we both have low thermostat settings. Grocery stores, malls and like are my idea of hell, especially. Luckily I don't have to set foot in one ever again. I just go to work and work. My room is a minute walk away. Thrillsville, eh.