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zeldapsychology
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18 May 2012, 8:32 pm

I personally like calm/nice tones unforutunently my sister is really harsh and rude with replies/comments alot. :-( It's hurtful. For example we are staying in a hotel this weekend and I said "Are you bringing your blow up mattress." She IMO had a rude tone "Why would you need that there are 2 beds" In a rude smart aleck tone. (didn't say this) but SORRY! I didn't know there were 2 beds SHEESH! IMO try to be a little nicer next time. IMO I wish she spoke nicer "No,we don't need a blow up mattress since there are 2 beds." Something nice/light. :-(



Atomsk
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18 May 2012, 8:59 pm

How old is she? That might be the reason.

Another possibility is that you're perceiving it as rude when it isn't. This happens to me very, very often.

Or she could just be a b!^&#.



OliveOilMom
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18 May 2012, 9:05 pm

Sometimes they do. When they do, I just give it right back to them, or if it's very out of character for them I ask them whats wrong.


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Kinme
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18 May 2012, 9:23 pm

I think people do this to me because they think I'm being rude to them when I'm not. They perceive my tone of voice as being defensive, when it isn't done intentionally.



DJFester
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18 May 2012, 10:00 pm

Unfortunately yes, quite often.


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Delphiki
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18 May 2012, 10:41 pm

I respect others as much as they respect me. If you talk to me like I am dumb then I will act dumb (well oblivious)


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League_Girl
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19 May 2012, 1:06 am

Yes. Someone at work seems to do this to me but I am not sure if it's her normal tone of voice or if it's all in my head. I have misinterpreted peoples tones before.



2wheels4ever
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19 May 2012, 1:43 am

Come to think of it I don't notice too much where outside people are using an invalidating tone like I do with some family. I asked them not to do it, they refused to stop, so I in fact do treat outsiders better than I do them now



auntblabby
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19 May 2012, 2:14 am

the lions' share of folk disrespecting me is why i'm a hermit in the first place.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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19 May 2012, 2:37 pm

I've heard a few kids using a rude tone with my daughter, for no reason whatsoever. But, it's only certain kids - the ones I've now told her to stay clear of, if she can. The nice kids never speak to her like that. The same used to happen to me. I used to think it was something I said, or the way I said it, that caused this reaction. Now, I'm beginning to realise that it was probably the other kids to blame. I was just nice and sweet, all the time, and was spoken to like I was a piece of dirt. I'm now starting to believe that my social skills and those of my daughter aren't all that bad, but they clash with these nasty characters (who are many), making it appear like we are the ones with the problem. I'm not saying we have good skills, just that the skills of those people are in need of far more improvement than our's.


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aenimicsoul
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19 May 2012, 7:05 pm

Well to be frank, and this seems quite judgmental and no offense but kids of any age beyond 3 these days have attitude issues, and don't want to give their attitudes up for anything. I have it worse. As if it weren't enough of a problem being around my peers my mom can go beyond stern and be absolutely ridiculously taunting as if she doesn't understand who i am. She does, but it seems like the one minute she forgives me she goes and decides to act rudely again, as though she's my older sister...only difference is she has to make up for it cause she knows it's offhand just being my mom, which is a little strange for a baby boomer to have an attitude, but hey, it can be a bad seed planted in just about any person no matter their age or background. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me how your own mom and dad seem to you or if they might care to help you with the problem.

Besides that i don't know much else how I could help, except to go the blog called Social Skills and Making Friends and ask them how to better communicate your feelings to your peers and siblings perhaps. I'm not surprised how tough it is. Just hang in there, get some support, see what people have to say on that blog. Just tell them your problem and how you can use social skills to better cope. Actually, if you can also get help writing, Google social stories and learn how to write one. With the help of other people's advice and working it out through your writing, you may discover a pretty concrete conclusion. That's some advice right?

--aenimicsoul


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