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Talking to people...

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jackbus01
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23 May 2012, 8:51 pm

legomyego wrote:
IMO...if someone asks you how you are it is not your duty to return the favor....if you want to call it that.
I'm a private person and do not like to be asked how I am doing....
I say "good" "ok" "alright" "excellent"(on the rare occasion I am) or "so so"
They ask a question...i give an answer....as i feel I am obligated, but to tell you the truth i'd rather not let someone know how I am.
Because if I were to really let someone know "how I am" at any given time...it would probably take a long time to explain due to my difficulties verbalizing what i am feeling/thinking...
On the rare occasion I ask the other person how they are doing it is usually because the person came off as being a warm and kinda person or because it's a pretty girl and that'll probably be the only words I can muster in my sheer awe of beauty.

Anyways...screw social conventions...say what ya wanna say...you have the right to plead the 5th even.....though the recipient will likely not take it too kindly.


When some people ask how I am, I will often say "I don't know". This seems more truthful than some stock meaningless phrase. It does puzzle people though.



purplemanatee
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23 May 2012, 9:11 pm

I find the casual exchange of "How are you?"s to be a particularly irritating aspect of small talk. I always walk away from one feeling uncomfortable and like I screwed it up. It's annoying because 99% of the time when a person asks you that, they don't actually care how you're feeling or how your weekend was. But at the same time I feel bad not asking how THEY are. But if I do ask how they are, then I feel sort of feel bad because I'm asking but I don't really care, either. The whole thing is really fake and pointless. No way to win.

I think you should answer in a short and impersonal way. I feel like "Good" or "Fine" is too curt although I really struggle to tack anything else on there that isn't just as lame as "Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?". I usually say something like "I'm allright. Weekend was nice but I'm a bit tired. You?" then if they actually care they can ask what was good about the weekend or why I'm tired. If they just say "Oh, cool" then I don't say anything else.