would ppl tell me im autistic?

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some of the things ive recently started to notice about myself are so obvious now to me that i dont understand how ive missed them for so long. im talking about lazy eye, really bad posture, curled hand "stimming", the way i talk, and so much OBVIOUS awkwardness has led me to believe that im some kinda autistic buuut idk if its been hidden from everyone even me til now or if its been so obvious to everyone else. nobody will tell me they think im autistic. i believe that the yall know but wont tell me because theyre idiots and think its better that i dont know im half ret*d or something?

They probaly wouldent to spare your feelings....

I guess it depends on your age. How old are you?

23

I don't know how things are where you live, but here in Germany many people hardly know anything about ASD at all. When you mention autism to them, they think of the Rainman movie and little else and they think that every autist has to be so deep into spectrum that they cannot do anything at all outside of their very strict routines.
People around here simply don't know that there is many autists between that and NT and so if somebody can talk to strangers or go shopping on their own (no matter how stressful that may be for the person) they conclude that this person cannot be autistic.

Many German people simply don't realize that the "S" in ASD is for "spectrum" and that implies different variants of the condition exist. And since they wouldn't recognize somebody with a less severe form of ASD as autistic they wouldn't tell that person they considered them autistic. Odd, yes, but not autistic.
Depending on how much average people know about ASD where you live, this may be part of the reason that nobody told you.

It may be because what's obvious to you, is not obvious to others. You see yourself all the time, and see a clear pattern. Many people, if not all, display different fragments of their personality to different people. At school you are a student, at home you are a son and/or a brother, etc. What's clear to you, might be hidden from friends/family. I learned at age 32 that I have Asperger's, and I went through some of the same thoughts you have now; "Did everyone else notice?" / "Did they know but kept it hidden from me?" / "Why didn't my friends tell me?" / "Was I just too ret*d to notice it myself?" / "Was is soo obvious that I should have known?"

Basicly, I think many of the things you yourself notice are less obvious to others. In the case of Asperger's, it's well known that individuals with higher than normal IQ knows so much in theory that they can act "normal" for short periods of time while they socialize and therefore it's harder to catch.

I've had someone that I've known for 7 years ask me if I was autistic. She's not one that cares to much if she offends someone though. When I had to give my teachers a questionnaire from my doctor (for ADHD), my teachers put that I strongly had this one symptom and my friend said that it was a autistic characteristic. Those are the only time people have just brought it up. I have noticed that people who have experience or are around special ed kids often and understand stuff like that usually act different then people who don't like they kind of "suspect" it i guess. I don't really know how to explain it, but like they are more patient and nice and it just feels like they're more understanding. I don't think people would just bring it up normally because it's an actual disability. Lazy eye is something that you physically see, so is bad posture and also a lot of people have bad posture. Curling hands are physical and talking is more obvious too. People bring up that I talk funny a lot. People tell me I'm awkward a lot and maybe that's just their way of bringing it up. Also, being autistic is not "half ret*d".

I doubt it's been obvious to everyone. Most people wouldn't even know what to look for.

I recently reconnected with some people i used to know like 10 years ago before i knew anything at all about autism, every single one has been like " i'd never have known", and when i mentioned some oddities about my behavior they were just very dismissive in general of the points i'd raised. I apologised for not making enough effort socially and they just didn't care, like they were saying that's just how i am.

I think if there's anything that we miss, and is obvious to certain people, it's what i notice in lower functioning aspies that i've met. With them you talk and it's like they don't "quite" grasp the conversation. They jump in with points that divert the flow of the conversation but they don't *quite* get it.. Which i kinda get, i used to be a lot more like that, but as i've got older i've got much better.

With the higher functioning ones it's like while they still have those problems, things are a lot more covered up. While some people will notice those few things you couldn't quite cover, those rare few slownesses when you couldn't quite conceal your slowness with a frown or something else ( which i do a lot), the vast majority don't have the attention to detail to notice. While i think some people will notice isolated traits of autism, very few people will have been able to connect the dots, very few people will have seen enough traits to come to any kind of conclusion. Most people don't ever actually come to conclusions themselves anyway, most people simply don't think, they'd just think back to the last time they saw someone which had a vague resemblance to your behavior and that would be it, problem solved, easiest answer and that's it, you'd gain your label. They'd probably think you're weird before they thought you were autistic. Or simply geeky/ nerdy, isn't that basically what autistic behaviour gets associated with for most people after all?

Only the girls on my softball and and some stranger on the bus asked me if I was autistic.


Before that, kids used to just ask me if I was ret*d and I always hated it because it would mean I was doing something abnormal so it was like a call out. I had no idea what I was doing wrong to make them think such a thing. Now it's been years since I have last been asked this and no one has asked me since 2007 if I am autistic.

Does this mean no one can tell anymore or are they too kind to ask?

I know some people can tell because they know what to look for but the rest may not know.