NTs using loud and angry voices all the time?

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One of the things I'm examining is how I get triggered by tones of voice and how us aspies are often accused of being chronically angry. I'm noticing my anxiety levels spike when someone asks a question but, as I tried to express it today, it comes off sounding like they have a gun in my face and are demanding my valuables when they are asking a 'who left the milk carton on the counter?' type of question. Could it be I'm magnifying my anxiety based on me feeling like it's a loaded question or is it a sensory thing NTs are numb to?

I'll observe my classic autie half-brother; whenever someone brings up something he's supposed to be doing his response is to tell them not to raise their voice at him, even though I can hear a calm voice. Is he just more in tune with the sensory and I've patched that neural pathway or he just doesn't like anybody jamming his good time like I have a feeling he's doing? (I'm kinda like "you go, dude!" when he does it)

I'm not sure exactly why, but this kind of thing happens to me all the time. People mistake me for being angry when I talk loudly or in an "off" tone of voice. Apparently, I use the wrong tone of voice when expressing myself, whether it be negative or positive. I also notice that I laugh and smile at moments when I'm supposed to be upset. I guess I'm expressing that wrong, too. *Sigh*...

I think you're right. Anxiety can cause us to become panicky and overloaded and then just burst out emotional/angry responses. Even when I try to control myself and know someone else did something (incorrectly or broke a rule, etcetera), I begin to speak loudly. I've just begun to explain to people that I sometimes use the wrong tone of voice and then apologize for it.

Basically, I'm triggered by people going around accusing and not giving others a chance to speak.

Yeah exactly, this gets me into constant trouble, with everyone, but makes home life very difficult. I get defensive and rude or off about innocent questions. If I concentrate fully on whats going on, reminding myself to think first, I can keep mostly calm - but I can't keep this up for long. As soon as I let my mind drift, I'm back snapping at every question.

i wonder if the ' monotone' some of us suppossedly adopt is due to the fact that we keep getting told we're talking funny/angry/etc, so we conciously or subconciously adopt a 'neutral' tone? Im starting to think it might help me to purposely do so. At least noone will call me "angry all the time".

I was actually fired from one job for 'anger management issues' and was shocked out of my mind / at no time do i ever remember becoming angry at that place, but I was told that due to me raising my voice one day, a coworker was now scared of me.

I was even denied EI benefits because of it. Funny thing is, I really liked that employee.

I often perceive others voices as angry, or loud, or agitated, or accusing. I know I've also sounded angry to others when I'm not angry at all.

>.< All that I can say is that it really, really sucks.

for me, i only experience it with family members, i never really hear it much that way with friends for some reason. I think its because my fam is depressed and anxious and in alot of denial or repressing alot of stuff, even my therapist agrees with me O.o
I know my voice often gets loud without me realizing. Otherwise im talking too low for someone to hear me, so i speak up loud and people take it as me being upset about it when i was just trying to be louder so they'd hear me

and i agree with Oddfiction about the possibility that we become monotonus because of often being told were not being appropriate in the manner we speak.
I was diagnosed chronic paranoid schizophrenic because of my monotnous voice and bizzare thought patterns i.e seeing the world from an aspie point of view.
Needless to say, that diagnoses was quickly removed by another psychiatrist who actually talked to me for more then 5min.

but it definatly makes home life hard because if i even tel my family that i dont like the way there talking to me, it angers them because they dont think there giving me a bad tone and tell me that if i hear it badly that its on me, and i keep telling them no s**t, I know that, thats why im telling you it bothered me >.< and often times they think im mad or irritated with them when really im not and dont understand why they think i am :/

I second Oddfiction. I think having some history of poor socialization makes people nervous subconsciously.

I only ue a loud, angry tone of voice when I'm angry. This is one bad thing about the summer - all the windows and doors are open and so I can't express my anger without someone snapping, ''ssshhh! The windows and doors are all open and everyone will hear you shouting!! !''

God knows how NTs can express anger without risking everyone hearing them when the windows and doors are open, because I never see them getting shushed by paranoid people.

I am the exact same way.

^ These, exactly. I have been told I am mean/ angry a lot even though I am not. After years of this, I finally figured it out that the tone/ loudness of my voice doesn't match my emotion at all.

any luck on figuring out how to fix that? :/ I dont know how to very well regulate my tone and loudness to match my emotions either

Unfortunately, no. I just hope that people that know me realize that the tone/ loudness of my voice doesn't necessary reflect my emotions. I do apologize after-the-fact though if I realize that I might have offended someone.

Poor prosody and tone are chronic problems for me. I know it can lead to losing employment. Because of a good benefit plan, I dont worry about it as much now. But that doesn't help it get any better, either.

Just tell people that you have trouble with it. Hopefully they'll accept it and then begin to understand. If not, I guess they're not really worth keeping around, sadly.

I think some NT people think that by being so loud they are confident and social and extroverted but it is unbearable for the rest of us. I have a brother-in-law, who I will call Gary, who is so loud all the time and talks so much that he has had 2 operations on this throat. The rest of my family, namely my mother, thinks he is wonderful because he is a doctor and the noise doesn't bother her. But I can't stand him even though he never mistreated me but so LOUD. He also has an issue with hygiene and has bad breath. Even his daughters (my nieces) say that so I am not all alone there. I guess I would have to be NT to figure out how his patients and coworkers put up with him.