Over-Explaining

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I definitely over-explain. I do it more in writing, probably because there's nothing/no one to interrupt me. In person, it usually goes one of three ways: 1) I go on and on... and on and on, and then I realize that I've been talking for a while and then I say something like, "I'm just going to stop talking now," or "Okay I'm done talking," 2) I start rambling about something, and someone else interrupts politely, or something happens that forces me to stop, such as class starting, or 3) I try to speak but I am too tired so I don't explain enough, and say a few words that seem related in my mind but probably aren't getting my point across, or I say, "I don't know," or something else short.

If you live in the States, go to the SSA/SSDI web site and see what they use for criteria to grant disability. Google "Blue Book", which is what SSA uses. It will break down each section of what EXACTLY they are looking for.

If you live in the States, go to the SSA/SSDI web site and see what they use for criteria to grant disability. Google "Blue Book", which is what SSA uses. It will break down each section of what EXACTLY they are looking for. You can arrange according to that as a rough outline.

http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professio ... stings.htm (main page)
http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professio ... -Adult.htm (sorry gentle readers, SSA files Autism under mental disorders)
http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professio ... .htm#12_10

Believe me, people reviewing your case will not rejoice grinding through extra material. You can even break it up in sections.
People don't mind big files, if they can quickly find what they need. That is why sections help.

Ha! That's it!
It's hard to say it without sounding arrogant, but why don't people want to investigate the truth behind things?

I make long explanations because I want to share all the information I've found, and any speculation I've had regarding it, and my ideas on the topic.... etc. Any one of these morsels could light the spark of inspiration!

I have no excuses when my mind goes blank mid-sentence and the words stop making sense, though.

My husband can talk, in a casual conversation for over 1 hour and 30 mins, uninterrupted.

A discussion takes two people. Unless you are giving a lecture on a subject, the other person will check out at the 15 minute mark, if there isn't a break for a question etc.

Fior has no clue how to shift between -this is work, and I am explaining a technical issue to a co worker, which does need very explicit detail- to I saw Jim in the hallway, and we are just chit chatting.
This got him into trouble at work. He stands way too close and sounds like he is lecturing, not talking. Fior doesn't read the body language where someone is being polite and would like to add to the conversation. This isn't debate class were one side gets 10 minutes to make a point with the other side not talking. Everyone thought he was being an arrogant, bullying jerk. The truth is quite the opposite, Fior is terrified of making a mistake. He feels he must get everything "out there" or he won't be understood. That more is a good thing.

The psychiatrist (who specializes in ASD), did not want to plow through Fior's 2 inch thick dossier from birth to now. The fact that it was two inches, with outlines, time lines, and graphs, and rambled in intricate detail screamed Asperger. It lacked, the much needed medical test results from his neurologist and internists. THAT was important to rule out organic causes. I knew the stuff wasn't in there, and the doctor would be aggravated, but it wasn't important to Fior. (those were faxed over later, pick your battles).

Details: Fior went to psychiatrist for diagnosis of ASD, brought 2 inch dossier of rambling, not important details with him. Doctor let Fior talk for 20 mins, which is really unusual as most would have cut him off at the 5 min. mark.

The dossier wasn't really needed. Fior has sensory issue up the wazoo, light, sound, food, touch. No friends out side the family. Uses no eye contact in conversations with others. Does not read body language at all. Stims by pulling/his twirling his hair. Lost job due to communication issues. Bombed whatever test is used to evaluate executive functioning. Has a very high IQ.

He has the best sense of dry humour I have ever met. Fior is kind to a fault and loyal. A very, very hard worker. Can talk on a variety of esoteric subjects. Willing to put up with my goofiness. A good father to our child. And together (when he is feeling well), we can have a blast together.

There is a whole lot of good in Fior.

Just because I discussed his tendency to turn a conversation into a monolog, doesn't mean I don't love him. I'm sure he can nit pick apart all my valid faults too.

Relationships mean accepting the rough with the smooth. And we both try to do that. After 25 years of marriage, it is getting better.

You sound lovely, he is a lucky man.









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Hmmm ... that might be plausible ... I used to drive my parents nuts when I was a kid, because I'd finish almost every sentence with "right mom?" or "right dad?" unless it was a question rather than a statement.

The thing is, why do we do it on the internet, too? There's no body language involved yet the difference in communication is still apparent.

The masses don't want to investigate the truth behind things because their minds are insufficiently complex. Yeah it does sound arrogant and I don't mean it to be, but that is the real reason.

I over explain when I feel passionate about something or REALLY trying to get my point across. I under explain when I feel frustrated. Just last night I was trying to my guy friend to understand how bad I am about communication and after the long winded, one sided conversation, he looked at me and said that I was a "fine" communicator.

I am pro-arrogance, anyway.