When is it the right time to disclose AS to people

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Was curious, Is there a right time when to disclose your AS to someone?


so what's your opinion on the right time to disclose

Last edited by megajohn01 on 31 May 2012, 8:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

The right time to tell them is right before I give them my summary of what Asperger's Syndrome is. I let them read it, and ask me questions after.

Thats the only way I can be sure that they actually know what Asperger's is all about, and to avoid them thinking about the stereotypical autism movie "Rainman". I could never tell a stranger the first time I met them, it would be waay too spontaneous for me. Asperger's are usually alot more than they know already, many have just heard the name before, others know it has something to do with autism. But then again, I don't live in the US, it might have a different reputation where you live.

Maybe someone is thinking "this person [you] is somewhat peculiar," that is it is evident they are thinking something like that, and only when and if you are sure it is vital they know there's a specific reason for that "somewhat peculiar[ness]." Job interview comes to mind. In most cases I think there's not much difference between "this person is somewhat peculiar" and "this person has Asperger's (and that's why they seem peculiar)." Let's say someone is irritating me and then it is disclosed there is a clinical explanation for their quality that irritates me, will that encourage me to try harder, more sympathetically, to relating to that person? That would be criteria I believe.

So far it's interesting to hear all the other views on disclosing

Last edited by megajohn01 on 31 May 2012, 8:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have a "need-to-know" policy regarding financial info, personal ID info, and medical info, including about my Asperger's. If they don't need to know I don't tell them. I do reserve the right to make occasional exceptions, like in telling family members if I wish. So far only my sister knows, but she figured it out on her own, and I confirmed it when she told me she believes I have Asperger's. I recommend you use the same system. Only tell people who need to know, with occasional exceptions for people close to you. In the case of dating, I would wait through several dates first. If things look like they are getting serious, then you can tell them serious stuff about yourself. There is no need to tell serious stuff to someone before that point. You have a right to keep private stuff private. At the same time, someone you are developing a serious relationship with has a right to know what they are getting into.

In the case of STDs you should discuss them before becoming intimate the first time. STDs are contagious, and some can cause lifelong problems. Some can cause cancer, and some can kill you or your partner, so these need to be discussed prior to being intimate.

Fortunately, Autism spectrum disorders are not STDs. However, they are often genetic in source, so it can be passed on to children through the genes. Because of that, this needs to be discussed with a potential mate ahead of marriage.

It depends on how well I know the person.

In my opinion (and that's how I'm doing it),

1) Get a formal diagnosis;
2) Tell people, one at time would be better.

Worked for me. Having a formal diagnosis gives weight to your claim, and not telling more than one person at once avoids chaos.

Good luck.

For me it depends on how badly I'm screwing up the social interaction and/or how 'eager' the NT seems to be to get 'offended'.
prolly a silly way to decide, but I'm still new...

Last edited by 1401b on 04 Jun 2012, 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It depends

I don't mind saying it if someone asked, but mostly I have waited especially with online dating because I didn't get comfortable enough with them to tell them because of the lack of "connection" so to speak....But there has been a few times I have been upfront about it because I really was interested in the guy and wanted to get to know him, again I'm not ashamed at all one bit....I believe that if they can accept disclosure at any point in time(whether it be the first few minutes you meet anyone or a few months down the line) and don't change their attitude,actions or views of you, It shows how mature, understanding and caring they really are as a person and Shows that they see a person foremost before a label...a label doesn't define who we are....AS is only a small part that makes up who we are

Been diagnosed since 16...I don't have many friends..so friends I do have already know, my entire family knows and most of those I have dated know other than that no one else really knows..I'm usually home by myself, The most of the friends I did have I found out were using me for money alot when I stopped helping out they stopped calling me, showed me that my therapy has been helping to point out some of the wrong things in friendships...i understand people get busy but when you want to hang out and the first thing they ask is for gas money and they work, knowing you don't have a job...it really clicked finally that I was treated like a joke this whole time and I was too stupid to see it....So about 90 percent of the friends I did have I cut out due to that kind of negativity...so I'm really only left with a handful of friends who I know really do accept me and their actions have definitely shown that they truly care about me which is something that has really made me happy beyond words.