why are they so many AS fakers?

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I see others and wonder why and how they could even have AS, like the one girl that talks in the video that always loads when this site is swamped, forgot her name. She and her boyfriend (who both appear in the video) have AS, but I don't look and think "fakers!!", though I do get a good deal jealous of people who appear so normal and cool yet have ASD.

I have been accused of faking my ASD. This is the same person who thinks everyone apart from her daughter is faking their disabilities.

The OP obviously just wants to spend the rest of his life lying in his own stuff and getting pity from others and not have to feel guilty about it.

And who are we to interfere with that?

His delusion that anyone who can carry on a conversation with nts is himself an nt and cant be an aspie is a convenient excuse for not aspiring to achieve anything.

So OP.. go ahead and keep that delusion.

Anyone who achieves anything beyond what the OP has achieved in life (which is apparently ANYTHING however small) cant be handicapped in anyway. So anyone who makes the OP feel bad by achieving anything- and still claiming to be an aspie is a faker.

Lets all play along with that for the OP's benifit!

Yes OP- everyone in world who fits in better than you in the world is not an aspie, and if they claim they are they are then they are faking.
So you dont have to feel guilty about being a loser.
You poor baby you! Just keep on being a loser.

And- to answer your question- "why do so many people fake being aspie?"- here is the answer: we are all in one vast World conspiracy to make you feel bad. Thats why!

So we will stop the conspiracy. So you can feel good about the fact you do not try to do anything to improve yourself!

Are you happy now, OP?

Or do you want me to put you over my shoulder and burp you, and change your diaper too?

Since having an AS diagnosis would bring me no support since I am a 40 year old of above average IQ - as my doctor was quick to point out - I have chosen not to fight the system to try to get a formal diagnosis.

That being said I am certain that I have AS and many of the suggested ways of mitigating symptoms work for me. I am married (although not particularily happily) have a job and work very hard to hide my symptoms because that allows me to support my family.

After 40 years I am pretty good at it, however it is an exhausting process which leaves me worse off when I drop my guard. Why would you want to fake that? People on this forum frequently testify about the fact that AS opens you up to discrimination, Why would you want to fake that?.

In saying so many people fake, you are suggesting it is fairly widespread, as someone who does not socialise enough to be able to draw from a suitably large sample of people to make any judgement I am suprised that someone else with AS does have this level of social exposure. If not what evidence do you cite for making the claim?

It is threads like this that encourage people to distrust other people on the forum. I don't have enough friends to be able to apply such mercenary criteria to those I meet here. I really couldn't care less if you are NT or Aspie provided you act with dignity and respect others.

It's like lying that you are LGBT--why would you bring that kind of discrimination and hatred upon yourself? Why "a*-burgers"? </rhetorical question>

ASDs have many different symptoms.

Not everyone will have ALL of the symptoms and the severity of each symptom will vary from person to person.

People with Asperger's Syndrome are often VERY good at verbal communication, but not good at non-verbal communication (i.e. reading/using body language, eye contact etc.) to get their message across. Forums are an ideal environment for people with ASDs, because it eliminates many of the types of human interaction they aren't good at.

Some people on the spectrum can "learn" these things. Remembering to look at someone when they're talking to you etc.

This is also true with relationships. Some people with ASDs can "learn" how to communicate with people enough that they can make friendships or participate in a romantic relationship.

As others have noted, some NT people find certain traits that people on the Spectrum commonly have attractive.

Maybe you people are taking one opinion too personally. Maybe OP’s meaning was to provoke you, or then maybe not, maybe it genuinely was a question… But why all this flaming…? OP’s opinion doesn’t bother me at least.

Maybe he was just wondering why so many here seem to have so many social things going on, friends, partners and so on. Even I was wondering that when I first came. In my case that didn’t mean that I was questioning AS/autism in those people who had all these things, but you can get these type of feelings, especially if you arrive here feeling down and utterly alone with your autism. You want to find someone a bit like you - a reassurance that you are not at the end that abnormal and alone in the world. Even though now after reading this site for some time, I don’t really consider autism to be a very big part of me, I still felt alien and socially naïve here. E.g. the adult autism discussion was all about sex and relationships… Not my adult autism life for sure...

I personally don’t like those "diagnosis arrows" either (---> diagnosed by this and that profession at the age of this and that). Like a diagnosis would be some sort of a badge of honor. In my opinion it is not. Some try all their life to fight against a diagnosis given, some want that same diagnosis badly. Isn’t it kind of funny (though I very much understand the reasons in both cases)?

I am very happy for all those who have managed to get friends, love, relationships and so on <---- because I live without ----> I also very much understand those without these things trying to find meaning and their place in life.

Last edited by VisInsita on 08 Jun 2012, 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I got lucky with that. During this one time where I was feeling down about myself my fiance said that a lot of the quirks that come with my cognitive differences are things that he likes about me (honesty, intellect, aspirations, unconventional worldview, perceived naivete due to social misinterpretations...).

Someone else commented on a butterfly. I saw a Monarch the other day! It makes me happy whenever I see one since they're not as populous anymore and where I live is supposed to be part of their migratory path.

I did not read the entire thread, but I've been following this whole thing.
A lot of people think that I am either faking it or am delusional for saying I have AS because of two reasons:

1. They have an incorrect perception of Asperger's/autism

2. They don't see my struggles, because I have become really good at hiding them in order to "survive" socially.

Besides, I was in acting school and film school as a kid, before my mother knew of my autism, and this helped me to learn how to "act" normal.
I also think that when parents push you to be normal and you aren't severe, you can learn how to hide yourself. But even then, stuff comes out and you will still have problems.

So, when you see someone that has Asperger's that isn't blatantly obvious and seems "normal," ask yourself the question of how hard it must have been for them to get to that level of acting. Or, if you don't like that, ask yourself the question of what difficulties are they hiding? Why do they hide them?

It's my experience that a lot of Aspies are good at imitation. I certainly am - I spend most of my time watching people and then imitating them in order to fit in. Thus most people like me because I am "so much like" them. Ha. I'm not.

I'm also not a shy, quiet, demure person. That's what it looks like when I'm trying to figure you out. Believe me, you don't want my long perseverating and lecturing and loud talking and hair/clothing touching, black and white thinking, and annoying fixations thrust upon you. Believe me, I do it for you when I strain to hold back all these impulses.

Thus, people don't know what I'm really interested in, what I really think, what my real opinion is, what I really want to do, and what I really am capable of, at any given moment. That's usually a good thing, because all of those things are abnormal according to an NT.

Don't you see how a quick glance can't tell you anything about whether or not someone is faking it?

I can't guess how many people "fake", nor can I say I've met anyone who I can overtly say is faking, but here's my speculation as to why some people might. A lot of NTs have social insecurity sometimes, or may simply be introverts - or maybe even have another condition, like ADHD or a very high IQ, that shares traits of ASDs. People seem to have a need to label their problems, so they may look it up, find the basics of asperger's and think they've got it. Or, like some people have pointed out, people who have a liking for attention and may not want to take responsibility for their actions, may take the label to achieve that.

As for the "autistic people can't have friends or a partner" things in this thread, you also have to consider how they met those friends (or partner). Many of my friends I met in special interest groups and special needs areas, as I did my current partner. We bond over special interests and are now comfortable enough with one another to talk "normally". Just because someone has friends and a partner, does not mean they got those friends easily and without social difficulties, or that they got those friends and partner conventionally.

Because acting autistic could lose the (VERY) few friends I have, cost me my job. At least it will no longer caused me to be committed to a psychiatric hospital. If you think about it, read a few biographies like Donna Williams or the lady that wrote "Pretendent to be Normal".
Its hard, but certainly NOT impossible if you are an accomplished mimic. I can get by with complete strangers, but people who are with me for hours at a time, or friends? "You aren't fooling anyone you know!" LOL
And I am not so eloquent anyway speaking verbally. I long ago found that writing was a way to get around annoying blocks I kept finding. I did not know why they were there, only that Life was much harder than it was supposed to be. Also, we are talking casual contact, I still have HUGE issues with intimacy. 50 years & still struggling..

Sincerely,
Matthew

I didn't start talking until age five and talking correctly till age six. I still had friends. They came to me. First time I had a friend was a girl who was older than me, she always came over and hung out with us. I liked her and would follow her around and liked being with her and her friends and I would just stand or sit there. I remember I met two other girls my age and they came to me. But they got mean as they got older.

I also had very poor social skills. I didn't pick on on social cues, I was too honest, literal, didn't understand emotions then, had poor theory of mind (I suspect I had some), my mind just worked different. Plus I was very bossy so things had to be my way and I liked things a certain way so it made me want to be in control. I was often not allowed in my friends homes and I had a hard time relating to them over there but yet I did better when we be at my house. But yet I still had friends. Sometimes I think kids were friends with me out of pity because I was in special ed and then because I came out of special ed and was put in a normal classroom with normal kids. I would think my social deficits were mild but after reading my medical report from when I was in sixth grade, it sounded really bad like it wasn't mild. But by 6th grade I had no friends of my own age. I started to struggle with them in 4th grade because we were older and that was when my poor social skills were really starting to show. I was more at the level of a six year old and kids in 4th grade were growing up.


From my experience in real life with aspies, 90% of them seem normal. I cannot see anything different about them. All of them are all high functioning. The rest who seemed different were probably lower on the spectrum meaning more severe. It took me a while to realize just because they seem normal does not mean they are mild. Just because they got married, have jobs, drive, lived a successful life more than me does not mean they are mild. Lot of them are a lot older than me so they probably had years and years of practice to be where they are now. So maybe when they were my age, they were a lot worse and had more struggles and then they got better with practice so their problems may be mild now.



As for my husband, he is laid back and accepts everything about me. He finds my quirks cute and I don't embarrass him and he doesn't care what strangers think. He is also flexible so he doesn't mind having to wear clothes during sex or lack affection and touch and asking me for permission before he touches me. Plus I like to be alone and can keep myself busy and he needs to be alone due to the pain he has been in and he plays his game to keep his mind off the pain. NT/AS relationships can work if they work it out. Plus he does not take what I say seriously because he knows I "don't mean it." I tend to be honest and say the wrong things and he doesn't care. He just ignores it. Sometimes he will make a joke if something I said was too hurtful.


For work, I have had conflicts at work and misunderstandings. I have had to have my mother help me out but I never wanted her to call my boss and talk to her about my issue at work because I wanted to be an adult and handle it myself. So I would ask her for advice and what to do and I would take out a piece of paper and write down what to say to my boss. I have hidden in closets and had meltdowns when an incident at work would upset me or over what was said to me. Maybe part of it was due to me not eating properly but when I moved to day time, I functioned better because there was structure and I ate a little more food. I have also dealt with massive complaints about me at work when I lived in Montana because I did not understand personal space and I didn't know where to put my laundry cart. Then when my mother told me about the arm length rule and told me that is the majority of peoples personal space is an arm length away and that rule does not apply to crowded buses or trains or elevators. So I started to follow that rule at work and I was always thinking in my head "back up back up back up" when I would see I was too close to someone when I hold my arm out. So every day I was in a obstacle course at work trying to stay an arm length away from people and always thinking about it and I got less complaints. At my current job, there are hardly any people and I work by myself, there are not many co workers there and I don't talk much.

Then again I am a borderline aspie.

Can't say I've ever seen a person faking having AS. But then, you'd have to be around people to witness such (ha). I've seen someone who was mistaken though (who later said as much).

(Besides, why would you want to have such? Any perk is completely outweighed by all its negatives by a zillion.)

If you think there's something wrong with you, you're probably right. You may not ever hit on exactly what, but people who don't have things wrong with them usually don't go looking for problems.

People who crave attention and cast about for things wrong with them to get attention... that in itself is a sign of some kind of problem.

So I figure that a few of the people who claim to be autistic aren't, but do have something else wrong with them. Maybe a handful of narcissists or sociopaths who are faking autism as part of some con. Maybe some people who have something else wrong with them but won't/can't do the research to differentiate it from autism.

I know when I find other autistic people, I get a sense of "wow, I'm like that too" sometimes, and a sense of "uggh, I can't believe I'm like that too" at other times.

uggh, I can't believe I'm like that too

126 replys already i was not exspection this.