earthmom wrote:
I've never been able to relate to the stories of the nurturing or the support or the extra help at school or counseling or ANYTHING because I was in a totally AS family and either ignored or abused most of the time, frankly.
Yeah... I suspect that my parents were (unknowingly) extremely emotionally neglectful. My mom would spend her days on a computer, to the point where she was late whenever we went anywhere, and such that dinner was consistently late (like 9 or 10 pm), and none of the chores were done (dishes would pile up for days). She also had four kids to take care of, and didn't seem to understand that kids need emotional support, so we rarely went out or did things as a family. Also, when I would go to her for support (mostly social problems), she would dismiss it and say my friends were the problem. I spent many days crying and screaming in my room, because my parents did not want to hear me cry. My dad told me to leave the room if I started crying. I would just scream louder, to which they would tell me to stop before the neighbours heard me.
My dad did not offer any help to my mom. He would rarely help out with chores because he said he was too tired from work. He would get home late, and when I would go to him to talk when I was upset, he would not want to hear it because he just wanted to go on the computer and do his stocks. He became very upset when his computer was broken and he could not do his stocks, so he would not let us use his computer. If we did and it broke, he would yell at us.
My mom and dad could not sort out problems for the life of them. When myself or my siblings had a fit, my mom would scream at us to stop. Chores were also unevenly distributed because my mom could not hold my siblings accountable. If they were too stubborn and lazy to help out, my mom would give up after telling them to do it a couple of times. She had pretty much no discipline on what we ate or when we ate, and pretty much left us to our own devices while she was on the computer. When I was old enough to babysit, she would tell me to take my siblings to the park, so she could stay home. She often took her frustration out on us when we asked her to make dinner because it was late.
She also would do whatever my dad wanted. She wouldn't get a job because then my dad would threaten to quit his job if she did, though she would complain about money. She was frustrated that my dad wouldn't help out around the house, but didn't seem to talk to him about it. She wouldn't make anything he didn't like to eat, even if I asked. So when it seemed to me that she didn't agree with doing what my dad wanted, she would do it anyway, because my dad has a temper and tends to get what he wants...
Ugh... sorry for the long post... so much to talk about...
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Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits