Are you the only AS person in your family?

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nolan1971
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10 Jun 2012, 12:45 pm

My grandfather on my dad's side always acted very aspie.
My dad had bi-polar and I always suspected he was aspie.
Both me and my sister have Bi-polar, ADD and although never confirmed I believe she is aspie also.



btbnnyr
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10 Jun 2012, 12:57 pm

Autistic traits are common in my family, but I am the only one who is diagnosed. As children, some of my family members could have been diagnosed, I think.



deltafunction
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10 Jun 2012, 1:11 pm

earthmom wrote:
I've never been able to relate to the stories of the nurturing or the support or the extra help at school or counseling or ANYTHING because I was in a totally AS family and either ignored or abused most of the time, frankly.


Yeah... I suspect that my parents were (unknowingly) extremely emotionally neglectful. My mom would spend her days on a computer, to the point where she was late whenever we went anywhere, and such that dinner was consistently late (like 9 or 10 pm), and none of the chores were done (dishes would pile up for days). She also had four kids to take care of, and didn't seem to understand that kids need emotional support, so we rarely went out or did things as a family. Also, when I would go to her for support (mostly social problems), she would dismiss it and say my friends were the problem. I spent many days crying and screaming in my room, because my parents did not want to hear me cry. My dad told me to leave the room if I started crying. I would just scream louder, to which they would tell me to stop before the neighbours heard me.

My dad did not offer any help to my mom. He would rarely help out with chores because he said he was too tired from work. He would get home late, and when I would go to him to talk when I was upset, he would not want to hear it because he just wanted to go on the computer and do his stocks. He became very upset when his computer was broken and he could not do his stocks, so he would not let us use his computer. If we did and it broke, he would yell at us.

My mom and dad could not sort out problems for the life of them. When myself or my siblings had a fit, my mom would scream at us to stop. Chores were also unevenly distributed because my mom could not hold my siblings accountable. If they were too stubborn and lazy to help out, my mom would give up after telling them to do it a couple of times. She had pretty much no discipline on what we ate or when we ate, and pretty much left us to our own devices while she was on the computer. When I was old enough to babysit, she would tell me to take my siblings to the park, so she could stay home. She often took her frustration out on us when we asked her to make dinner because it was late.

She also would do whatever my dad wanted. She wouldn't get a job because then my dad would threaten to quit his job if she did, though she would complain about money. She was frustrated that my dad wouldn't help out around the house, but didn't seem to talk to him about it. She wouldn't make anything he didn't like to eat, even if I asked. So when it seemed to me that she didn't agree with doing what my dad wanted, she would do it anyway, because my dad has a temper and tends to get what he wants...

Ugh... sorry for the long post... so much to talk about...


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League_Girl
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10 Jun 2012, 1:31 pm

I am the only one diagnosed with it. My grandma could have had it but now she has Alzheimer's and my great uncle could have had it but I will never know for sure because he has been dead for 11 years. My dad's brother could have it. I also think one of my cousin's on my mom's side of the family could have it because mom told me we are both alike. My mom has also suspected her sister may have it and she is the mother of my cousin. My dad just has traits and it's only in social skills and I think he may have dyspraxia because he is so clumsy and he gets his left and right mixed up.

I bet my grandmother could have been diagnosed if AS was known way before 1994. The rest I am not sure about. But she is one of those people who does not think she has anything wrong with her so she never treated her anxiety so it made it hard for her kids and she let her Alzhiemer's get worse because she didn't want to know the results or do anything about it, she also would not wear a hearing aid so she can hear normal. My mom says she would have been better off today if she took better care of herself and was not in so much denial and too proud. I think the only thing she ever took care of was when she had a growth in her ovaries and it made her bowel incontinent so she had to wear diapers until she had them taken out and she got her control back and didn't need them anymore. This was back in 1962 when she had the operation to get her ovaries removed. she sure was not too proud to not have it taken care of because she knew there was a problem and had to fix it. So even if AS were known back in the days, I doubt she would go get tested for it or even want to know the results. My grandfather was the sort of person who never forced her into things or make her do anything that was important so he basically let her get worse with her Alzheimer's.


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CuriousKitten
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10 Jun 2012, 1:37 pm

I come by most of my traits honestly, but not all from the same side of the family. Neither of my parents were exactly social butterflies, but they seemed to manage nicely. Dad was an engineer who helped design some of the hardware now collecting dust on the moon. Mom went back to school to be an accountant -- interesting that engineers and accountants are the second and third most stereotypical AS occupations. Dad had anxiety and depression and Mom Schizophrenia -- Mom's meds worked, Dad's seldom did. I have real doubts that either of them were diagnose-able as spectrumites even when young.

I never had children. My brother and his kids are decidedly NT.

Back before the industrial age, people learned their trades early, and were mostly around those who had known them from birth. An aspie would have no trouble blending. Indeed, many aspie traits were considered virtues: honesty, attention to detail, . . . . .



Kalika
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10 Jun 2012, 3:39 pm

I'm the only one in my family who's really been suspected of having AS, but I can think of a few other relatives who may or may not be on the spectrum.



bobbybaggio
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10 Jun 2012, 3:55 pm

I was in foster care from almost birth and don't know my biological parents. So I'm the only person on the spectrum in my adopted family. I guess this is why I've just accepted I'm autistic and not considered how I came to have it.....I just do.



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10 Jun 2012, 4:29 pm

As far as I am aware I'm the only autistic person in my family - I'm sure if anyone else had had symptoms like mine I would have heard about it, because my symptoms are very apparent, and they were even more apparent when I was a kid.

I suppose there could be someone in my family who is at a different point on the spectrum, but as far as I am aware there is nobody.



Trainbuff
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10 Jun 2012, 8:47 pm

I'm the only one in my family who has AS that I know of.

Its tough as none of them is really aware of what AS is.



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10 Jun 2012, 9:50 pm

I'm guessing my younger brother, who is very much like me, and my Mom, who even as a youngster I recognized was child-like, have Aspie characteristics.



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10 Jun 2012, 11:34 pm

I am one of at least two people in my extended family who are diagnosed with any ASD. One of my second cousins was diagnosed with autism when he was fairly young, and is in his teens now, I think.

None of my immediate family appears to be autistic, although both my sister and mother seem to have some traits. Those can possibly be explained by ADHD, however. My entire immediate family has ADHD.

My biological father*, who has never really been a family member to me, seems pretty AS. When I read Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome there were several perfect descriptions of his behavior in the book.

* Not to be confused with my legal father, who is my sister's father, both of whom are fairly abusive and have a lot of red flags that point to something like NPD.



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10 Jun 2012, 11:39 pm

I haven't got a formal diagnosis yet (I'm beginning the process toward one, though), but I'm probably the most aspie-like person in my family. Introversion and anxiety issues tend to be common in my family, though. My father had a hard time controlling his emotions, and he had a tendency to stim (whenever I bounce my legs non-stop, my mom comments on how my father would do that too). My mom has a fair amount of aspie tendencies--I'd consider her to be at least BAP. I can think of one other relative who may have AS.



Last edited by FishStickNick on 11 Jun 2012, 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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10 Jun 2012, 11:50 pm

Relatively certain my dad shows some AS traits, not enough to get him on the spectrum, and he's developed tools and ideas so that he's mostly compensated for the trouble he had when he was a kid (he's extremely bright and managed to get a lot of kids at school mad because he didn't realise they didn't like it when he demonstrated how much more clever than them he was). I'd be curious to see what a professional had to say about him... and me, frankly.


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11 Jun 2012, 12:30 am

one person in my extended family had aspergers but he's dead now. my mum used to bring is stubbourness and aspergers up when she wanted to coerce me into doing things- "you know that guy who died? he had aspergers and he died because he was stubbourn and wouldnt take his medication. this could happen to you." he died of diabetes related stuff. what has that to do with anything? i never met the man so i dont know how he presented. other than that its just me.



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11 Jun 2012, 1:08 am

My daughter is the first one in the history of our joint families diagnosed with a mental illness on either side of her extended family. However my brother, myself, my father and probably my grandfather are all undiagnosed AS. Interestingly my brother was non-verbal till 5 and was considered "ret*d" (according to his school) till middle primary when suddenly he became a genius; after that all was forgotten and he is pretty NT these days. I think mild forms of ASD must be lurking around in the population in much larger numbers than we realise.



Juliana
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11 Jun 2012, 2:18 am

I think I have AS, but I don't know for sure. My evaluation is in about two weeks. I don't have any family members that I can think of that have symptoms. Clinical depression runs rampant in my family, but that is about it. I do see some traits in my daughter. But she is still so young. For all I know these are common traits for her age?