What do you do if a friend/family is crying in front of you?

Post Reply New Topic

Try to hug them. This usually pisses them off.

Which confuses me. People usually like getting hugs when they're upset, no?

It seems like that when my loved ones are upset, they need a hug from someone that isn't me.

Wow so many replies! Thanks! Ya I usually sit there wondering when they'll be done. I try not to touch people when they're upset. I like touching people and if I'm distracted enough I can get a little carried away and eventually grab their butt or something. Then they'll be really mad. I once had a boyfriend who used the strategy well. If we're arguing about things, he'd take off his shirt. Soon my hands would be all over him and the arguments forgotten.

Luckily not all the crying need comforting. Say those people who are moved by books or movies or weddings don't need comforting at all. Dust in the eyes or cutting onions don't need comforting either, whew!.

I sort of just stare and pat them on the arm and do the sort of "there there, it will be ok" kind of thing.
I really just don't get what it is I'm meant to do?

I don't hug. I mean, I know I probably should but... I don't like hugs.

"Are you ok? What's wrong?" Then, "aw..." or "oh, no" or "I'm so sorry."

Stand beside them, putting an arm on their back. That's consoling, without having them put their teary face on your shirt or getting awkwardly close to them if you don't know them.

I have no idea to do, so I give them a perplexed look and stutter something meant to be supportive. Friends come to me for honest advice if they have problems, but I'm completely disabled when it comes to emotional support. If someone starts crying and then hug me for comfort, I stiffen even more than when I'm hugged in normal situations. It scares the crap out of me, especially because I'm unable to show emotion in those situations, so I'm afraid I'll be seen as cold or uncaring.

I too always look like I'm being artificial. I try to do the NT scripted behavior, but it just doesn't come naturally enough and makes me end up thinking I'm causing more problems. I've done the looking down bit, but that just ends up further upsetting others. I just have to leave whenever someone's crying or having an emotional moment. It's just something I don't comprehend, so why make it worse?

Not sure what to do, its bad enough when its myself.

I kinda feel like myself, i kinda get less and less inclined to cry, its like im cutting off more and more emotion about things to simply protect my self.

Normal people dont seem to do that, they seem to have it good with crying.

I have a lot of problems with feelings so i rather avoid it completely.

Trying to help someone crying, would be the equal for me to talk to someone who only speaks chinese.

I dont even know what to do when im crying let alone someone else.