Neurotypicals and what annoys me about many of them

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I was thinking the same thing from my point of view.

We may not read social cues or understand the art of sarcasm but it takes very little to send an NT off the deep end in my experience.

I did not fully understand what you meant I asked you to clarify and you did and neither of us took it the wrong way.

Dealing with NTs is a pain that I try to avoid as much as possible.

Wow, you'd think being married to someone with AS they would have learned that they need to be explicit. I'm an NT woman, and like many of us, am guilty of letting my partner figure out I'm upset by my body language, but he is also NT. If he had AS I wouldn't be so dumb as to assume he would pick up on all my subtle cues. I wonder why these women are on websites complaining about these things instead of learning a bit more about AS and learning that it's never going to work if they don't actually adapt to a different communication style. How can you marry someone you don't even bother to understand? Weird.

I've seen plenty of fellow non-NTs doing the same. If someone doesn't understand what someone else is saying, they should ask if it's meant to be rude/literal/etc. or not. The Internet makes it even harder to figure out the intentions, since you can't gather hints like tone of voice, inflection of words, etc. Italics, emoticons and boldface only go so far...

I agree with most of the observations about NTs. I often find myself having to be far more tolerant and understanding of their 'condition' than I know they would be of me.

Personally, I dislike the whole mindset of having to classify anyone. Apart from its statistical uses, I find the concept of 'normal' destructive and next to useless. No doubt it is part of my social blindness but I don't understand why we cannot simply accept each individual for who they are and the range of skills, abilities, perceptional capabilities etc which each person has.

Within architecture there is a concept of Universal Design which is about constructing buildings which can be adjusted to each occupants needs. The idea is that all buildings should be built like this. Rather than special purpose construction for people in wheel chairs, elderly, blind etc. It is a matter of good flexible design.

I wish we had the same concept in society. Especially within our education and social support systems. Rid ourselves of the notion of the 'Norm' and create systems which can adjust to the changing needs of every individual. Do away with age/gender barriers.

I have seen so many families suffer from having their kids crossing that magical barrier between childhood and adulthood when so much funding and support services dry up overnight. People who have to prove every year, "Yes I am still disabled". It's sick that we treat individualism as some kind of pathological disease.

I have a lot to learn from NT's. But they have so much to learn from me. Without the paradigm busting quirkiness of individualism NT's wouldn't have the world they have today. Science, technology, art etc were not created by adhering to normative values.

do they not realize that Aspies are unlikely to "pick up on" stuff? That's like expecting a deaf person to understand when you speak without first getting their attention and facing them.

I don't want to bust a perfectly satisfying irrational rant ... but ... generalizing anecdotes is a road to dogma. Mainly, though, how would "we" be equipped to figure out "them"? If "we" could, we would be one of "them."

Age 54, Aspie, Male, Republican, Employed, Taxpayer, Gun-Owner. Any thing else I can do to ruin your world?

All I know is I have been married 3 times and had 2 long term relationships, all have sunk. I have never cheated, flirted, etc. 3 of the 5 have cheated on me. All expected me to make the effort to understand them, while they didn't have to do the same for me.

BTW, why do men have to put the seat back down? Why can't the woman put the seat back up? Like at my house...

I have always felt an imbalance in this whole issue of Tolerance. I have to go to great lengths to be tolerant of the behaviours and attitudes of others. I respect the things they value even when they make no sense to me whatsoever.

And yet over fifty years of experience, I have rarely experienced reciprocity in tolerance. It feels that the moment I do/say something deemed to be a millimeter out of line, I get jumped on from a great height. (Trying not to be paranoid here )

So many relationships (of all types) have been ended by others simply walking away. In complete honesty, in nearly all cases, I have never known why. I have run out of ways to ask why. Very seldom can anyone ever clearly express their reasoning's to me.

The one I hate most is, "You know why." Duh!! Actually, no I don't. I wouldn't ask if I did. I need you to spell it out for me, step by step, point by point. If you can't do that, then I cannot accept responsibility when I don't know or don't understand what it is you want me to accept responsibility for?!

I have learnt that what most NT's mean by Tolerance is "You let me do whatever I want to do, And don't you do anything I might not like or understand."

Disagree. A detective may have to learn to think like a psychotic criminal, without actually turning into one (or wanting to turn into one.)

The more "we" learn to understand "them," the more "we" may realize how screwed up "they" are. Comprehension alone isn't enough to become like someone. You'd have to have the DESIRE. And when you see how counter it is to your nature, you may lose such desire.

How exactly would that ruin anyone's world? No one said all Aspies are incapable of holding a job. Many are interested in guns, nothing is particularly strange or damaging about who you are in regards to AS.



Yes, this here is quite typical of what it's like to have AS. They don't bother to try and understand you. They hold it against you for not just "getting" or understanding them. You were always loyal, and still got the run-around. This scenario here is quite typical. Keep reading these forums.

That's a bit of broad brushing there. True I'm very loyal to the few friends I have but it doesn't mean that other Aspy's are incapable of treating people close to them like dirt.