What were/are your biggest problems in school?

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I've found ignoring bullies didn't do me much justice. They didn't get tired of it. They continued yelling humiliating things to me all the way home from school nearly every day, and in the end I found other kids joined in. I also found that I looked weak and unable to stand up for myself when just walking ahead of kids yelling embarrassing things to me the whole way home. So one day I was caught behind them and they saw me and pretended to ''kindly'' let me past, so I walked past and then one tried tripping me up. But instead of getting angry or just ignoring them, I turned round and smiled at them as if to say ''I'm starting to enjoy your silly jokes'', and they all looked at me and didn't know what to do or say. And from then on, they didn't really cause my any more trouble.

In the adult world, ignoring bullies works more because other adults who see the situation will smile and think ''oh she's the mature one, she's not retaliating, she's just acting as if she can't be bothered with stupid, immature people''. But I think when other kids see you getting bullied, they either join in or think the ''right'' thing to do when being bullied is to fight back, otherwise you're a weak geek. When other kids see you fight back, they love to watch and think it's great.

Getting into groups
Group projects
Having friends
Being picked on
Having to pick partners in PE
Homework
Doing school work in school
Being discriminated in school by the staff
Being seen as stupid or weird or a show off or ret*d


Middle school:

Kids doing goofy things to me and I thought they were all picking on me
Schoolwork
Going from one class to another
Being excluded from activities because I was never informed about them
Some kids asking me if I am ret*d

High school:
Outbursts and meltdowns I would have
Kids not being nice to me and they tell me to mind my own business or not want me chatting with them and thinking I don't care about anyone
Had my aid and she made a big deal out of everything I did and was too over protective of me
Being under estimated and then over estimated
Zoning out because I could not listen for long periods of the time
Falling asleep in class
Not being allowed to have my Gameboy or music with me in the resource room so I fall asleep because I had nothing to work on and I was not even allowed to be on the computer either so I fall asleep and the teachers be yelling at me to stay awake and they wouldn't even let me pace either. But yet they expected me to stay awake and couldn't seem to understand I need to stay entertained or else I will get tired from boredom and sleep.
Kids thinking I am not paying attention
Kids telling me to smile

Definitely for me, it was being a social outcast. I was bullied, teased, and was excluded from everything that the "normal" kids did. The few friends I managed to have in school, were also outcasts. Not bad kids, nor druggies; I mean other nerdly library-geeks like me. I never had a problem with the school work, and in fact I was always ahead of the class in most subjects, and didn't need to study much in order to get a good grade. Funny thing is, today looking back (at age 45), I guess I wouldn't trade that for being popular but average or having difficulty with the school work. Back then, I couldn't have cared less about what grade I might get in any particular subject, and I'd have done anything to be liked.

Adding to the bullying/teasing problem, was that I was much taller and bigger than the other kids my age, and thus I was a great target for coward bullies. They could scare me and chase me away, even if they were half my size. I guess that made them feel big & strong for a minute. And if that wasn't enough, I had no clue as to how to dress, so I was wearing clothes that my mother picked, and that was a BIG mistake. I looked like a little German boy in a 1920s movie, LOL. Lederhosen and saddle shoes! JEEEEZ what was my mother thinking!! !! !!???????

Charles

Last edited by kx250rider on 03 Jul 2012, 12:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I got an even worse bit of advice: "Tell them to stop it."

My biggest AS problems in school were:

-not being able to tie up my shoe laces
-math
-gym (very bad coordination and fine motor problems)
-not liking to show my emotions (crying, laughing, smiling, raising my voice, acting excited, etc.)
-I was so shy and not able to show my emotions that I was teased a little bit
-I didn't like asking the teachers for help
-I had trouble finding partners or groups when it was up to me
-I had trouble being assertive
-I had trouble processing information
-I refused to use the washrooms in the school until I entered high school
-getting up in front of the class to do presentations
-I refused to use the pencil sharpener at the front of the class, I'd bring my own
-I didn't follow styles...didn't style my hair in middle school, I didn't wear makeup
-children approaching me asking why I don't talk and then trying to make me talk or scream

I was just sitting out time at school. There were very few subjects that interested me and those that did were taught by people who should never have become teachers. My reports always used to say "bright but is easily distracted and shows little interest. must try harder" but failing to mention even one concrete way in which I could meet their diffuse requirements and ambiguous, somewhat contradictory standards.

Bullies were a problem until about 14 when I had an almighty growth spurt over the summer and it stopped pretty much instantly. Bullies try to prey on those they perceive to be weaker which makes them p*****s at the end of the day.

The thing that consistently annoyed me the most was the lack of IT lessons and those that we did have were for simpletons. You could do the exercises for an hour's lesson in 5 minutes. I always used to get sent out for exiting Windows (3.1, it ran in DOS, remember?) and programming stupid batch files that printed random obscenities on screen in big ASCII letters. The teacher always thought I'd deliberately wrecked the computer and got really mad. I was upset the first time it happened but then took it up as a kind of sport once I'd realised he had a terminal sense of humour failure.

1. Homework / Coursework / Organisation.

2. Bullying.

3. PE.

The reason why 1) is listed first is it had the biggest impact on my education.

Jason

I have said it before, but ok here it goes..
Number 1 problem was bullies. And not just students, even a teacher or two & a bus driver were guilty of this.
Keeping my GPA up. This actually was number 1 but the bullying hurt more & I focused on it. My grades ranged from A+ to D-, even a couple of Fs. Mood swings, memory (executive functioning) issues, plus bad eyes was a recipie for near disaster.
Lastly, fitting in. Well, I moved so much during my HS years this came not to mater at all, because I never had time to fit in.

Sincerely,
Matthew

Heck, I still cannot decently tie my shoes. I just found ways around that one Lost Girl! LOL

Matthew

i was at the top of my class in schools that were really big on academics. i was actually fairly popular, never bullied. i think my popularity was due to my disinterest in what was going on around me.

my problem was acute boredom. most years i learned all the material early and spent the rest of the school year sitting there. in 7th grade i finished all my coursework for english and history in the first two weeks, and for the first time ever my teacher actually let me read for the rest of the year as long as i turned in reports. that was the only year i was ever engaged.

i think because i wasn't causing trouble, wasn't an outcast, my teachers figured that i was fine. of course, the fact that i was being abused at home (and displayed some obvious signs) wasn't something they felt the need to address anymore than the fact that i spent most of my school years in a state of absolute boredom.

Math was a totally foreign language. It was, like, >N:g:H:y:T:O:0H:g:3<. Couldn't tell time until 7th grade, much to the distress of my parents.

Worst. Advice. Ever.

What I have found from personal experience - ignoring them could actually make things worse. The bullies would usually intensify their harassment more and more, for the sake of getting a reaction from you. They would do anything to make you cry, yell, run away or react in whatever way - they'll set you on fire if they feel it would work. Ignoring makes them angry and pushes them towards extremes (and that can be very dangerous).

I have found that having a reputation for being "crazy" actually works better. Bullies (like most other ignorant people) are afraid of strange behaviour and will keep their distance.

-Math.
-Overstimulation, extreme tiredom.
-Due to constantly being tired and overstimulated, depression.
-I was often on the edge of actually being bullied.
-Being seen as an attention wh*** because I liked strange things.
-Getting groups.
-Lacking assertivity.
-Completing tasks; getting things done.
-Homework, I was too tired.
-Boredom, the actual lessons were very slow and often completely pointless.
-Always sitting alone in class.

It was not a problem at the time, but in retrospect I think lack of support was a problem. I did not know myself well enough and others did not know me well enough - and the problems this caused...
The things that caused me the most problems at the time were asking for help but being told that I did not need it when I actually did, and also having a different learning style that was not noticed by either me or others - in retrospect I am not suprised I found english so hard now that I know I struggle with metaphores, indirect communication, emotions etc.

Homework. It's hell. I already know everything so it doesn't help me, but executive dysfunction makes actually getting it done take forever.

Couldn't. Agree. More!
That's pretty much the standard answer given by ignorant "experts" and I can tell you it's a complete load of BS! Maybe it might work with adult bullies but trust me in school this is the single worst reaction. I tried ignoring the problem and it got to the point where even the school genius decided to join in by slamming my head into a locker so hard I got a concussion. Of course, when I could no longer hide my emotions and they came out in one huge outburst (didn't help they suspected I had leukemia too!) that made it infinitely worse but it would never got to that point if I didn't ignore them for so long.

Of course people always ridiculed me for not using my superior size and strength but they are forgetting 1)I was very smart and knew even back then I could cause serious or permanent injury if I got into a rage and didn't want to become a bully or criminal myself and 2)The numbers are ALWAYS on their side. The bullies would NEVER make a move when it was a 1 on 1 situation: in fact they were experts at pretending to be your friend and fooling the authority figures. Remember like most Aspies I was way too naive at that age and many people took full advantage of that. I always laugh at the foolish advice to 'project confidence'. How the %$@#$@# can you do that when you are in constant danger? Besides if anything that made them worse because it made it a bigger accomplishment to knock you down.

The bullying stopped near the end of Junior High when a student decided to stand up for me against a mentally unstable individual who tried gave me a vicious and unprovoked beating I will never forget. Maybe at the point even the bullies felt I had enough I was left alone in High School because they moved into criminal activity and gangs and left those who left them alone.