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anneurysm
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18 Jul 2012, 7:36 pm

So I am in a situation regarding a guy with a troublesome type of AS.

My young, pretty, female friend, "Cathy" has AS, and is becoming popular on Youtube for her videos about it, as well as videos about her special interests. The problem is, she has attracted the attention of this guy with AS who has become obsessed with her and this other pretty, popular, young female youtuber with AS, "Megan". He will leave comments on all their videos and on their comment boards, and has been doing so for the past 6 months. As well, in nearly all of his comments, he will lecture about one of his special interests (Bob Dylan, different languages, and other pretty youtube vloggers with AS). The videos he comments on have nothing to do with any of these interests. He will also memorize everything these girls say and then tell other people about it (even people who post videos that have nothing to do with AS). On Megan's comment board, when people ask her questions, he even answers them for her! Worst of all, he has announced this "Aspie republic" and has picked these girls as the leaders.

He has sent me an email from my AS website as I do public speaking about it, asking for advice as to what to do when Cathy left a clearly frustrated comment on his channel explaining that he needs to stop talking about his interests. I wrote him back and explained very clearly how he was making her feel, and that even if you are interested in something, is doesn't mean others will be, and leaving comments on videos about your own interests is not OK. He wrote back and said things like

"It does mean they aren't currently interrested but not so much they never will be."

and

"I often get the impression that a person who doesn't like because they don't even know about it. I grew up with a lot of high culture, and I'm trying to introduce others to it."

So I wrote him back explaining how someone communicates that they are not interested, in that they do not reply to his comments...and also that he has no control of whether someone likes something or not. Also, I told him about the consequences, that they could block him. I don't know how well he will respond to this though, as he did not understand anything I said about taking other's perspectives.

Both Cathy and Megan are very frustrated in terms of his comments and clearly, they would both like him to stop...but he hasn't. I want to have both block him...but I have a feeling that if they do, he will choose another victim.

Just wondering what everyone has to say in terms of thoughts, opinions and advice.
I need to be able to wrap this up with him as I am returning to work in a few days and I don't want him to peg me as his next obsession.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


Ganondox
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18 Jul 2012, 8:23 pm

Have one block him and monitor how he reacts. Maybe that will get the message through.


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Aharon
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18 Jul 2012, 8:29 pm

I think 75% of the posters on YouTube are dweebs. If you don't want your videos to be a dweeb magnet, make it where they cannot be responded to. Otherwise you may have to endure the occasional groupie. That's the price of fame.


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Valkyrie2012
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18 Jul 2012, 9:41 pm

If you block him - he can just make another account... due to youtube linking google accounts now.. I have like 5 personally...



daydreamer84
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18 Jul 2012, 9:55 pm

I think you should have both girls block him and if he does try to youtube stalk you , then you should block him and be very blunt and direct with him, tell him you do not want him "following" you obsessively on the internet at all, you want him to leave you alone because he's making you feel uncomfortable. He would probably have difficulty understanding this message if it was communicated in a more subtle way. Hopefully he will understand if the other girls block him that they want nothing to do with him but if he doesn't and he gets another account and keeps pestering them then they (or you..... if you want to advocate for them) should again be very blunt with him and tell him he needs to leave them alone.



nubbins
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18 Jul 2012, 10:11 pm

Interesting dilemma. I'd be inclined to have a look at youtube's harassment policies (is there such a thing? I'm thinking there must be) if it is that invasive a problem. The not allowing responses is an option, but at the same time obviously kills legitimate discussion. Blocking, as mentioned, is another option. What do you think would happen if he were completely ignored?

Then again, annoying someone (within reason) is not a crime/does not make a victim. It's a grey area. BTW--good on you for being patient with the lad, trying to explain things.



Rascal77s
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18 Jul 2012, 11:50 pm

I don't think the possibility of him bothering someone else should deter your friends from blocking him. Maybe he'll get the hint instead. You just don't know. Anyway, if he bothers someone else it's really not your business (not trying to be mean). If you think he's dangerous report him. If he's just annoying block him and move on with your lives. I just don't see what the problem is. You can't save the world anneuyrism.



Jasmine90
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18 Jul 2012, 11:58 pm

It's the internet, just block them & problem solved.
If they're leaving messages, who cares? Just ignore them.



hyperlexian
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19 Jul 2012, 12:15 am

Jasmine90 wrote:
It's the internet, just block them & problem solved.
If they're leaving messages, who cares? Just ignore them.

yeah, i had a similar problem on facebook because my FB is connected to my music profile. i tend to be pretty open about accepting friend requests (fans are fans, i don't judge), but i have no problem with blocking people if they become troublesome either.


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Silverlight
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19 Jul 2012, 1:25 am

Nobody else finds this a bit dehumanizing? If he's being annoying and completely oblivious that's one thing. But in terms of what he said... it would be a problem with your friends for not being interested in inherently interesting stuff(I speak theoretically here). Don't talk about him as if he were some child so much to the point where you don't show any concern for /his/ feelings. I find that a bit offensive, actually. You say he is not getting the message but this is true for your friends also, they simply aren't being receptive enough. Now it goes without saying that he probably isn't the best at sharing things in a palatable manner... but if you yourself possess an ASD then you should be more understanding of why that is. Honestly I'm thinking this isn't so much a problem with him(I could be wrong, I haven't seen more than 2 sentences written from him), but more with some sort of 'quiet' superiority issue you and your friends are experiencing. It's funny how it's always people with some sort of disorder(I have plenty, calm down) that are so quick to take advantage of situations where power over something is within reach. You just can't talk about other people like this.



MirrorWars
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19 Jul 2012, 7:05 am

He may come across this thread.



CyborgUprising
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19 Jul 2012, 2:05 pm

I can't even be nice here; the man is obviously creepy. You can block him, but he can simply make multiple accounts on YT. I personally dislike being on YT because of the types of people that tend to leave the majority of comments on ASD videos. They range from those who pretend to have the condition, then go on another associated video and say persons with an ASD need to be "sent to death camps," users who claim we are the "product of demonic intercourse with humans," and people who call you fake for not being the stereotypical image of someone on the spectrum ("if you can talk, you aren't on the spectrum"). Last, but certainly not least, you have the YT creepers who occupy their own domain of weirdness and depravity...



Rascal77s
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19 Jul 2012, 2:14 pm

Dear mods,

Could you please delete that piece of s**t silverlight's reply from this thread so we don't have to look at it? Thank you very much :)



The_Walrus
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19 Jul 2012, 2:17 pm

Links to the YT channels of the pretty girls?

Link to the YT channel of the Aspie with a Bob Dylan obsession?

:wink:

(The :wink: means "I'm kidding")



kraven
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19 Jul 2012, 2:24 pm

I take a "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" approach. I publish a lot of work out there on teh web and in print. It draws some weirdos. I don't block them because I would rather see their patterns and know where they are.
If nothing else, you can watch the person either degrade or even out and develop a plan of action from there.

If you think you're going to put content on YouTube and not draw flies, you're just mistaken. These people will always squirm out into the comments section.



Ganondox
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19 Jul 2012, 4:45 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
Dear mods,

Could you please delete that piece of sh** silverlight's reply from this thread so we don't have to look at it? Thank you very much :)


You know, according to the rules of every forum if the mods would delete any post it would this one.


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Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html