How many friends do you have? [Aspies Only]

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zero. im really bad at this friend thing. i cant make them or keep them and when i do it ends in one of two ways: either they will be jerks; usually of the racist or homophobic variety and the relationship will be toxic or we will loose contact and grow apart. i just shouldnt try. it always ends badly.

Here is a list of likely reasons why you could find yourself without friends...

1. You are confused about the definition of a friend
2. You do not recognize a friend or discount them for some arbitrary reason
3. You are too judgmental and fussy about who you allow into your life
4. Your heart and mind is closed to new experiences
5. You do not need any more friends, you just think you do or that you should have, perhaps because other people/ entertainment and media etc has fed you an idea of how you should exist
6. You do not allow space for new people to enter your life
7. Low self worth
8. Conditioning (often movies aimed at young people)
9. Self fulfilling prophecies that you yourself perpetuate perhaps subconsciously on purpose
10. Fear of fear

How I make and maintain friendships

1. Care about other people enough to recognize the validity of their incarnation, and be liberal and non judgemental
2. Never ever engage in meaningless chitchat if it requires effort, it it flows naturally then thats ok, talk about things of concequence and substance (this does not mean being overly serious)
3. Let my self show to new people without masking too much with new people
4. dont try to make friends consciously on purpose
5. be open to the idea of anyone being your friend regardless of age, race, religion, orientation, background and to an extent past/ reputation.
6. Give people the benefit of the doubt and try not to question their motives, just their actions
7. Keep regular contact with friends
8. Don't put up with their BS
9. Make people happy, do them favors and accept kindness
10. Identify your own strengths and loyalties


When I am opening channels to review people for friendship positions I give them some of my philosophies and views and open up a little bit, not too much. Allow silences in the conversation.

I can get around five friendly acquaintances (people whose names I can remember that I talk with and greet) when school is in session. But I have only one person who I consistently contact and trust, even outside of school. I had a second one, but he seems to have lost interest in socializing with me.

It depends on how you define the term 'friend'. I personally know of and have met more acquaintances than actual friends. So, at the moment I would say that I have 3, although I am only (partially) emotionally connected with one of them and we basically just talk to each other, and that's just in school. However, these friendships will probably not be maintained; I've now finished school and we are starting out in new places, along with the fact that friendships are so high maintenance that they 'exhaust me'...in fact, I believe there's only one friend I see outside of school, so I should have voted 1.

50?

How could anyone have 50 friends that they regularly hang out with and call on the phone?

Few people have that many.

Facebook friends? Do those even count? How many times do you actually call them to say hi, go to lunch together, etc.?

11. You live in a town with a preponderance of people who do 2, 3, 4 & 6, especially. I think this is the situation I am in, which is why I'm moving away this year. I don't think I'm too guilty of 1-10 myself. As for the second lot of 1-10, I think I used to roughly follow those principles when I had a facebook, e.g. I would write many more comments than status updates, so I do have that attitude of giving that is needed for real life friendships.

Zero here. I make tons of friends but they always dump me or gradually become so abusive (only to me) that I dump them. I also don't consider a friend someone I can't call for help in an emergency and who doesn't invite me to join them when they know I'm alone in the season's holidays dinners.

I'm friendly with some of my neighbors and co-workers, and there are 5 that sometimes help me with something, if it suits them and if the stars are aligned well. Maybe some would count those as friends...

There are a few people at my school that I will sit with at lunch and listen to them but I find it difficult to engage them in a two way conversation and I don't consider them a friend for various reasons. I only have one person that I would consider my friend and oddly enough, he is also friends with someone who I suspect has schizophrenia.

None. I speak to people online that I've met a few times, but I don't socialise or anything. All the other people I know on my Facebook all live in London, and are never willing to visit me and travel, when I've travelled to them more than enough times, so I don't see them as friends, just people who post on my Facebook status' sometimes.

I have no friends. I am really lonely and it saddens me.

As Moondust said, friends are people you can call in an emergency, people you see, people you socialise with, people who care about you and people who are willing to see you and the friendship isn't one sided.
None of my friendships have ever been like this, it's all been one sided, and now talking about it here has suddenly made me all depressed lol.

I have zero friends... unless you count:

1) my mom

2) my sister on the other side of the country

3) my online chat friend in Berlin... 6000 miles away... when he is not busy manipulating me

4) a recent NT email friend 500 miles away who thinks highly of me

5) one Aspie here with whom I used to swap messages but have not messaged in about 6 months

6) one Aspie neighbor with whom I was never able to talk and who recently moved away.

Everybody else seems to go out of their way to make my life miserable... and some of the above even do that at times.

I said one. I spend a lot of my time with my partner. We've been together for 23 years and share a lot of the same interests. I enjoy being with him at times and moods where I couldn't cope with anyone else (although I still need time alone.)

That said there are a number of co-workers that I am friendly with. They seek me out for conversations, will look after me if I am sick, etc. I don't mind them, and they might consider me a friend. I'm not sure. I don't categorize them that way, because I don't want to spend time with any of them outside of work.

One, probably only because I am married to her. Other than that I don't have any real close friends, just aquaintences or "people I know"