Page 1 of 2 [ 30 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Mirror21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,751

09 Aug 2012, 2:50 am

I have never thought myself avert to being hugged. I like hugging people, a great deal. But if the hug i not like, expected, or offered first, I don't like it. If I am really upset, they feel good, but I don't like them as much. I know that its a funny thing to think about as an adult.

I have heard a great deal of talk of weighted blankets and all that. Makes me wonder.

I like hugging and being hugged back, but if its not two-sided, I don't like them. I am guessing this is why some of the WP crowd like the heavy blankets?



JessicaAnne
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 40

09 Aug 2012, 2:54 am

I dislike hugs too-this angers my mother since she's always trying to hug me and I tense up and don't hug her back. Usually I'm much better if I'm warned in advance.

I also really hate when people touch the back of the my head or my back/shoulders without warning me.

It's not that I'm not affectionate, it's just a sensory thing that bugs me and sometimes pisses me off if I'm not in the mood.



Roman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,298

09 Aug 2012, 2:59 am

Mirror21 wrote:
But if the hug i not like, expected....


Usually when someone approaches me socially and its not expected, my initial reaction is to get away since it seem to detour me from wherever I was going. But then 2 minutes later I would realize I just missed out on something and want to come back to it, but at that point I wont know what it is I should do in order to come back. I cant like say "remember two minutes ago you approached me, well here I am".

P.S. As far as hugs themselves go, no one ever tried to hug me because I dont have any friends at all. And that is quite sad, I really wish I could get a hug at least once a month or so (not that I wont want it a lot more often I probably would, but I guess that would be too much to ask).



Rattus
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 195
Location: UK

09 Aug 2012, 3:09 am

I HATE being hugged and I mostly hate being touched. I always have, there's a photo of me at a couple of hours old trying to push the blanket away because they'd swaddled me and I was being picked up by my gran. As a baby being picked up made me scream louder and I couldn't be comforted. There are so many pictures of me as a child trying to wriggle out of being held. As an adult being touched can make me get quite aggressive, I just really hate it.
However, I love sleeping under heavy blankets and I've been looking into weighted blankets. As a child I used to occasionally lie under cushions and I seem to remember getting my brother and sister to sit on me. I also love lying under the dogs when they lie on me. Human hugs tend to be weird where as animals are dead weight and it's deep pressure which I like. I do like my back being touched firmly especially in circular movements. When I am stressed I sit with a really heavy bag on my lap or my parents hand me a dog when I'm in meltdown which helps. They have a miniature wirehaired dachshund who is wonderful and loves being cuddled so she's perfect (highly portable!), the labrador has been known to just sit on me when I'm crying which is weird because she's never normally on the sofa but she seems to know that it's ok when I am in meltdown. My mum used to get really upset because she thought it was her fault but she now gets it's not.



outofplace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux

09 Aug 2012, 7:13 am

I am much the same. I don't mind hugs when I know they are coming and even give hugs when they are needed. However, if someone touches me without my knowledge or consent beforehand I don't like it one bit. I won't react violently but I won't give the sort of positive response the "surprise hugger" is expecting.

As far as the weighted blanket thing goes, it sounds interesting. I sleep with a heavy comforter and usually adjust my air conditioning to compensate for the added insulation. I need the weight of it to sleep.


_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic


Misslizard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,481
Location: Aux Arcs

09 Aug 2012, 8:19 am

I'm not into hugs,I can take it because I know people mean well and I don't want to hurt their feelings but it makes me stiffen up.I do like to sleep with stuff like pillows and stuffed animals packed around me.As a child I liked to roll up as tight as I could in the blankets it made me feel so relaxed and safe.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,002

09 Aug 2012, 8:21 am

I really like hugs as long as it's all mutual consent. Only problems are worries about getting it wrong somehow. Wouldn't want to reach and then find they didn't want that.

I've also got some reservations about hugging........if I hug men as well as women, fine, we're just an affectionate community. If I hug only women, doesn't that mean there's something sexual going on? If so, does monogamy have anything to say about who I can hug and who I can't? It seems to be mostly mainstream society (though less so on the continent) that doesn't allow men to hug each other.



nolan1971
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 290
Location: Gainesville FL

09 Aug 2012, 8:52 am

I love being hugged but feel hurt if the other person dosen't seem sincere.
As though it were just a shallow gesture that upsets me.



alecazam3567
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 238

09 Aug 2012, 9:07 am

Huh... I'm most definitely an aspie, yet I love hugs, no matter how unprompted. I consider them to be one of the best feelings in the world, to be honest.



CyborgUprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,963
Location: auf der Fahrt durch Niemandsland

09 Aug 2012, 12:05 pm

For me it's absolutely NO HUGS! If I want to have weight/pressure exerted on my body, I'll wear my body armor and place heavy objects on myself.



Mindsigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,272
Location: Ailleurs

09 Aug 2012, 12:20 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
I really like hugs as long as it's all mutual consent. Only problems are worries about getting it wrong somehow. Wouldn't want to reach and then find they didn't want that.

I've also got some reservations about hugging........if I hug men as well as women, fine, we're just an affectionate community. If I hug only women, doesn't that mean there's something sexual going on? If so, does monogamy have anything to say about who I can hug and who I can't? It seems to be mostly mainstream society (though less so on the continent) that doesn't allow men to hug each other.

^^
This is why I don't initiate hugs very much except among immediate family. I don't like being ambushed by a hugger-mugger (my name for those touchy-feely people who just won't keep their hands to themselves).



Misslizard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,481
Location: Aux Arcs

09 Aug 2012, 12:29 pm

Hugger-mugger,that's great! They do ambush don't they,it's really hot and sticky here so the worst ever are sweaty hugs,ewww!! !



LtlPinkCoupe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,044
Location: In my room, where it's safe

09 Aug 2012, 1:41 pm

I like hugging, too, but I tend to like it better if I'm the one to initiate them.


_________________
I wish Sterling Holloway narrated my life.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" "Life isn't fair, Calvin." "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in MY favor?" ~ from Calvin and Hobbes


Mirror21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,751

09 Aug 2012, 5:34 pm

Misslizard wrote:
Hugger-mugger,that's great! They do ambush don't they,it's really hot and sticky here so the worst ever are sweaty hugs,ewww!! !


I live in the south and out here older people (60's and below usualy) seem to think its OK to just touch peopple.

older woman:"Excuse me hun" *starts rubbing my shoulder* may I go through?"
Me: O,O *she is touching MEEEE!!"



Kurgan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,132
Location: Scandinavia

09 Aug 2012, 5:38 pm

I like hugs if I'm prepared for it. If I'm not prepared for it, I don't like being touched at all.



Steven_Tyler77
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 209
Location: Romania

09 Aug 2012, 6:02 pm

alecazam3567 wrote:
Huh... I'm most definitely an aspie, yet I love hugs, no matter how unprompted. I consider them to be one of the best feelings in the world, to be honest.


I love hugs too, even with people I don't know well. And I love them to be as tight as possible, soft hugs are not that enjoyable or real to me (deep pressure?). However, I would not like it to be touched or hugged unexpectedly from behind, without me knowing it.

I like hugging, kissing and caressing people I love, but other kinds of physical touch make me uncomfortable. E.g. I hate human sculpture exercises. I almost burst into tears during such an exercise at school, although I used to hug and kiss on the cheek most of my classmates. Sexual, even flirty touch also makes me uncomfortable, which makes me appear very unresponsive and unavailable.


_________________
Probably 75% Aspie, 25% NT... and 100% ADHD :)

Aspie-quiz results:
Aspie score: 138 of 200 / NT score: 78 of 200 => Very likely an Aspie.