Do you also get obsessed by potential mates?

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I was just wondering if it was aslo your case. Do you think we could call that a "special interest" too?

I have done this a lot too. It doesn't help that the answer has universally been no by the women I have been interested in. This in turn puts me in a deep depression that can take years to get over.

Ditto there.

I fell head over heels for this girl I met a couple years ago and pretty much relentlessly pursued her... asked her out four times... and would still gladly date her. Good to know other people do something similar.

And so we see the down side of the special interest...
Also, yep.

I used to do this as well. I think the common problem was I was choosing what I wanted to see in that person opposed to the reality. Its easier said than done, but try to put logic before emotions. Seriously think about their characteristics, including the negatives to decide if this person is worth pursuing. Also, think about their behavior towards you. Are they affectionate, do they contact you first, do they tend to confide in you etc.

I have been obsessed with people who I was interested in dating and in the end, was glad I never dated them. It's important for me to avoid getting emotionally attached to people because the danger of being hurt by rejection is something I want to avoid. I'm afraid I may not ever be fully compatible with most people, so I don't know how well I would do in a long-term relationship anyway.

Ditto x2.

There's a girl that I had unending feelings for throughout my junior and senior years of high school. To the point where I was constantly thinking about her and it was affecting my schoolwork. That was in 2003-04. I still have strong feelings for her, and would date her should the chance arise. We're probably not compatible anymore though.

There's also another girl that I met in an AIM roleplaying chatroom back in 2002, and had an online relationship with. I've never met her in person (she lives in Florida), talked to her on the phone maybe once, haven't actually chatted with her since 2008, but I still think about her all the time. I even have "phases", where I get strongly interested in her again, try to track her down, to no avail. After a few months, I lose interest/hope, but the feeling is always there. And inevitably, it always comes back, and when it does, the feeling is always like it was back in 2002; feels like starting out again.

In my experience, people, especially potential romantic partners, make really poor choices for special interests. Special interests are, as far as I can tell, the sublimation or replacement of interpersonal relations. To special interest something / someone that special interests supplant is a bit like sticking a microphone into the headphone jack. Crazy oscillation, then the recording heads get stripped.

Yes I have done in the past. Also done so when a relationship has finished, I've continued to obsess. I didn't realise this was a potential AS behaviour, just thought it was crushes or the grieving process when you've split up with someone. Recently I have started to see this in a new light.

Apparently, yes. Recently, I became infatuated with a friend. After about 1,5 month, I talked to her about it and got the already expected no. We are still friends, but it took me three months to really get over it (in fact, I got over it about one week ago).

Since I have not fallen in love for anybody else to this day (although there is another girl I am currently interested in knowing), I cannot say for sure if I always get obsessed by potential mates.