Relationship conversations

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How do I as an NT in my relationship tell my partner what I am feeling as clearly as possible without it coming across as being insensitive. All the information I have read says that Asperger's folks want to have the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth because they are not able to interpret subtleties. Many times I have heard from my boyfriend "Honey you have to tell me these things" however when I have tried to do that in the past he took offense to me wanting to plan something or slightly change something. I really could use some help on this. Thanks.

Just be very clear. So, don't bother dropping hints, because that probably won't work. Make it very clear what you are asking, and the response you are expecting. For example 'I would very much like to X,Y or Z with you on Wednesday at 7pm. I would like you to confirm that you we will do that by Monday'.

I'm afraid that changing a plan is never going to make you popular, however you phrase it! Some people with Aspergers also aren't a fan of other people planning things, for various reasons. Unfortunately, the attachment to a routine and an aversion to following other's plans can mean that people with Aspergers don't involve themselves in a wide variety of activities. My father was like this, my Mum would have to organise all holidays and outings and even then he would rarely come along. I am a little like that too - my boyfriend has to suggest things and then I plan them, but we rarely go anywhere or do anything which suits us, but of course may not suit you.

troll?

Do you give reasons for why you want to plan or change something? Personally, if someone said they wanted to change things or plan things that had to do with me, but their reasons were inadequate I wouldn't go along with it, especially if things are fine the way they are.