Do you hate not knowing that what you've said is wrong? I do

Post Reply New Topic

This has happened to me very often, where I say something that I think is funny but it turns out it's mean or insulting. But I never know because my brain is unable to determine wether something is wrong to say or ok to say! I really wish I wouldn't have this problem. Usually when I get told that something I've said is wrong, I remember that and will try not to say it again, but then later I may end up saying something that is similar to what I was told is wrong but will, again, not realize it's wrong because it's not EXACTLY the same as what I said before.

Yes I do. I wish people would just have a pair and tell me when I am saying something wrong a lot of the time.

Rarely. If someone reads an insult that isn't there then that's their problem.

Don't bother worrying about it. Everyone gets insulted. It is what people do. You just have to lie to them. Just so that they leave you alone.

Not wrong as in incorrect? I periodically mistake a musical artist for another and when I find out I gave someone incorrect information I feel as though I gave them road directions to a gang infested ghetto rather than an amusement park.

As far as unknowingly insulting someone I feel I have to run that risk rather than become completely nonverbal. I tend to only speak when I have something worthwhile of mention as it is

Frustrating, isn't it? Try not to beat yourself up about it too much. Just add each example to your mental library, try to find the patterns, and do your best. You are allowed to mess up--you're human; it's expected.

Absolutely. I'm still waiting for that damn script, the NT's never provided me with one . . .

If only I could think before I speak, but my mouth has a mind of it's own. Oh well, at least my hindsight is 20/20

Lol, yeah that would make it so easy!

Hilariously said!

And I totally identify.

Every. Day. I eff up a conversation every damn day.

I tend to get more annoyed when I know when something I've said was wrong. In the past, not knowing kept me ignorant and so it's never really bothered me, but now that I've grown wiser and started to think more about things it does bug me sometimes.

This happens to me every day. My family knows that I have AS and I'm confused as to why they still take offense to things that are unintentional.

Uhm just because someone thinks it's mean or insulting doesn't mean it is. If you say something that is just meant to be funny, it's not mean. Some people are (too) sensitive and a lot of people are too easily insulted. People should be able to take a joke without getting all uptight.


I agree. Some people need to grow a thicker skin and stop looking for possible slights everywhere.

Some people really are too sensitive. But sometimes, we do make mistakes that offend people. This situation--where the person with autism is making a mistake, and the person without autism is misinterpreting it--is a no-fault scenario. Nobody meant to hurt anybody else.

You are responsible for what you know, and for learning what you don't know, but know is important. Once you've done that, you can't hate yourself too much for making those social mistakes. You just apologize (in this case the apology means "I didn't intend to hurt you"), and then you put it in your mental file of things not to say, forgive yourself, and move on.

All the time.

I've ended up in a position where I don't want to go out.