One thing about Aspergers that sucks for me

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Multiplex
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18 Sep 2012, 3:38 am

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outofplace wrote:
I think it depends on the person. You can learn to incorporate certain things into your personality that people will like, even if you are not perfect. There are people with autistic traits who have been very successful in politics. The one that comes immediately to mind is the current mayor of London, Boris Johnston. Some are even calling for him to be Prime Minister. This despite his rumpled appearance, poor eye contact, clumsiness, and social awkwardness-all of which have been noted in the press. (I first noted that he seems to be an aspie after seeing him interviewed on Top Gear where he just looked like someone on the spectrum to me. Afterwards, I researched it to confirm my suspicions.) Yet, he has been very successful in politics. Likewise, some have also suggested the US President Richard Nixon might have been on the spectrum as well. He had all of the charisma of a wet pair of socks, yet he managed to win two terms as president and almost defeated JFK in 1960! Don't limit yourself. Give life a try and see what happens.


I always thought if any recent President has aspergers it would have been Jimmy Carter because he told the truth about energy issues. Unfortunately, he did not tell what "people wanted to hear" so we ended up with Reagan. I sincerely feel that our energy issues would be mostly solved had Carter been reelected. In the UK, though, you had Winston Churchill who had a stuttering speech problem. It seems that the people in the UK, and even most of Europe, are not as taken with "charm" as much as Americans are. For example, if Mitt Romney wins, it will be because he "charmed" voters.

Exactly. Our chancellor Merkel is not charming at all and if you have seen photos from her of 20 years ago, you would think she is a pure nerd. What people here think about Obama, is differentiated: Some people like him a lot, others think he cannot really solve serious problems.

I don't remember much about Carter, but Reagan was definitely a showman, at least with his actor past. The question is: What would have happened if he wouldn't have been elected? In the long run it all comes out to the same: Energy, raw mat and water ressources are going down and no president has the one and only solution, while we are suffering luxury problems like Asperger. When it comes to serious survival problems, no one cares if you are Asperger or not.



Prof_Pretorius
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18 Sep 2012, 5:28 am

Blimey ! !

I'm sorry I mentioned politicians ! ! I should have known better. This thread has gone off the tracks.


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18 Sep 2012, 5:39 am

MusicalCat wrote:
I always want to know how to make an impact on society. One thing I don't like about my Aspergers Syndrome is the whole social skills and charisma thing when it comes to official leadership and local/state/federal office holding. Otherwise I can just write my influences out in a book, but I feel a bit screwed here. Should I give up on such a dream? And even though I'm articulate, I am told I have a slower-than-average speech pattern. I am willing to learn charisma, social skills and earn money, etc. it just doesn't seem practical right this moment for me.


Read bios on famous aspies like Einstein, Newton, Temple Grandin, Alex Plank and the like. Michael Jackson had a money fixated family to start his inertia

Generally, aspies are behind the scenes people, or second in command like Spock. If your a true aspie standing in front of the multitudes.... espousing some famous speech is just a pipe dream

Astrology can help indicate a famous leader, I'm born on the same day as Hitler



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18 Sep 2012, 6:36 am

Surfman wrote:
MusicalCat wrote:
I always want to know how to make an impact on society. One thing I don't like about my Aspergers Syndrome is the whole social skills and charisma thing when it comes to official leadership and local/state/federal office holding. Otherwise I can just write my influences out in a book, but I feel a bit screwed here. Should I give up on such a dream? And even though I'm articulate, I am told I have a slower-than-average speech pattern. I am willing to learn charisma, social skills and earn money, etc. it just doesn't seem practical right this moment for me.


Read bios on famous aspies like Einstein, Newton, Temple Grandin, Alex Plank and the like. Michael Jackson had a money fixated family to start his inertia

Generally, aspies are behind the scenes people, or second in command like Spock.
I was just thinking about Mr. Spock some days ago. Also about Data (that's how we call him at least). Why are they never commanding people, only in case of emergency? They only complain if they don't perform if I remember well. But I never saw them in a leading position. When Spock had the commandership, he simply gave orders. But how would he act in a civil organization?
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If your a true aspie standing in front of the multitudes.... espousing some famous speech is just a pipe dream
That's true. Holding a seminar is completely different than holding a speech.

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Astrology can help indicate a famous leader, I'm born on the same day as Hitler
8O

My last horoscope builder told me that for me it looks very bad to be ever happy at work. :x



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18 Sep 2012, 7:34 am

You could learn charisma but I think it depends on your personality. I'm introverted and have sensory issues so shut down around a lot of people and in a changing environment. I take Ritalin and I will be friendlier to people and genuinely want to talk about them. And I will talk to them a lot. Not many people have that luxury and not many people will get that result anyway.

Nothing is impossible. When I was a child I had worse issues than AS. I didn't talk to people nor could I do a lot of things for myself, and now I'm almost up to average.

If you really want to be something then work on it. Find ways around your issues. I have always struggled with reading and writing and now that's all I do. I used my natural mimicry of peoples writing styles to teach myself grammar and punctuation. I can replicate my favourite authors style. I even had to learn to write like a verbal thinker. I'm a visual thinker and struggled writing down descriptions.

We might be wired differently but it's not set in stone. Or whatever the proper phrase is. The brain is constantly moulding itself to what we learn and experience.

I've made a lot of progress in my self-education in writing, in social skills and anything else I set my mind to. So much sometimes I'm uncomfortable at the amount of bluntness around here and seemingly little regard to people's emotions from the impact of your words. But I know some people can't help that as I once did.


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18 Sep 2012, 2:23 pm

The antonym of AS is charisma. This is why so many of us aspies dream with positions where we can influence people - we're starved for this basic human need.

It used to be my life dream too. But I can't even get anyone interested in hearing a comment I make at work lunch, let alone lead a nation or persuade an audience. :lol:

And I agree, aspies are more quickly rejected the more primitive the NT is. So appealling to the masses is an AS antonym too.

Charisma, by definition, is natural.


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18 Sep 2012, 2:58 pm

What sucks for me is when I ask a question and then either get ignored or laughed in my face, especially since no one else in these businesses done that and that I have engaged in this activity before. I just didn't want to travel to do this again. This was so humiliating for me that I will not even mention it. I'm still hurting over what these 2 so-called business people, especially laughing boy, did. :(



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18 Sep 2012, 3:03 pm

It's really irksome to think that the social part of life is practically tallied around charisma. You could be a really kind-hearted person, full of good intentions, full of nice gestures, always thinking of others, very polite, and mature and responsible, but if you lack charisma then nobody will want to be with you, or you will only have very few friends.

If you are snotty (as in personality), do stupid things, constantly selfish, rude, ignorant, immature and irresponsible, but have a lot of charisma, people will like you, you get invited to social gatherings with friends, and you will get on.

It really doesn't seem fair. Nature has made a big mistake there.


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18 Sep 2012, 3:13 pm

BobinPgh wrote:
outofplace wrote:
I think it depends on the person. You can learn to incorporate certain things into your personality that people will like, even if you are not perfect. There are people with autistic traits who have been very successful in politics. The one that comes immediately to mind is the current mayor of London, Boris Johnston. Some are even calling for him to be Prime Minister. This despite his rumpled appearance, poor eye contact, clumsiness, and social awkwardness-all of which have been noted in the press. (I first noted that he seems to be an aspie after seeing him interviewed on Top Gear where he just looked like someone on the spectrum to me. Afterwards, I researched it to confirm my suspicions.) Yet, he has been very successful in politics. Likewise, some have also suggested the US President Richard Nixon might have been on the spectrum as well. He had all of the charisma of a wet pair of socks, yet he managed to win two terms as president and almost defeated JFK in 1960! Don't limit yourself. Give life a try and see what happens.


I always thought if any recent President has aspergers it would have been Jimmy Carter because he told the truth about energy issues. Unfortunately, he did not tell what "people wanted to hear" so we ended up with Reagan. I sincerely feel that our energy issues would be mostly solved had Carter been reelected. In the UK, though, you had Winston Churchill who had a stuttering speech problem. It seems that the people in the UK, and even most of Europe, are not as taken with "charm" as much as Americans are. For example, if Mitt Romney wins, it will be because he "charmed" voters.


Well...no. If Romney wins it will be because Obama is an incompetent buffoon who has no understanding of capitalism or how markets work. As for Carter, he lost because the economy was bad and because he too was a left wing ideologue who had no idea how to fix things when his wrong-headed ideas did not work. (I'll stop now as this was never meant to be a political thread.)


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Multiplex
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18 Sep 2012, 3:20 pm

Joe,

this is exactly what I think. And I'm still convinced that people who are trained to have more charisma that they already have something. But who knows, at the end we are told AS have a negative charisma. That's what I feel sometimes. This means that training makes it even worse. 8O



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18 Sep 2012, 3:33 pm

Instead of debating this to death, it would be nice to hear from other Aspies that one thing sucks for them..



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18 Sep 2012, 4:19 pm

Dirtdigger wrote:
Instead of debating this to death, it would be nice to hear from other Aspies that one thing sucks for them..


Agreed. (In Spades.)

I have sensory issues, and that sucks. My sense of touch is rather dull, but my sense of smell is much too sharp. Recently the Missus was stroking my back and started using her fingernails. I couldn't feel it. When I said for her to try scratching my back, she said if she did it any harder she'd draw blood. But I can smell things like perfume to a heightened degree, so much so I have to tell people I have an allergy to artificial scents.


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18 Sep 2012, 4:22 pm

Dirtdigger wrote:
Instead of debating this to death, it would be nice to hear from other Aspies that one thing sucks for them..


Meltdowns.

Not my most severe trait, but the worst trait. I'd do a lot to get rid of my meltdowns.



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18 Sep 2012, 4:24 pm

Excessive talking. STFU



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18 Sep 2012, 4:41 pm

To me a charismatic person = interesting person. I never related charisma with social skills. If someone impresses and captivates us, then this person is charismatic.


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18 Sep 2012, 5:32 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I wouldn't want to associate with someone who referred to me as a "low level person" or an "ape".


I get what he means totally. I've often equated NT's to chimps myself.
We are more like orang-utans.