Advice about meltdowns.

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When I start seeing red, I become a runaway train, never going back. (Wrong way on a one way track.) I just wish I knew how to derail, before I hurt someone.

lol. i'm saying try less hard to notice what's going on around you. you don't have to hear and remember every word that is spoken, you don't have to look for and analyse every slight head and eye movement. just let a lot of what goes on go unnoticed by you. NT's observe far less than we do.

then your brain won't get overloaded and frazzled.

I would probably freak out with the wallet situation too. Then again, at that point there is really nothing you can do but wait until morning and go back and look for it. While I am far from perfect at it, I have learned how to turn off my emotions in some situations. Logic dictates a certain course of action and so I then plan out how to carry out that course of action. I also try to handle my situations alone since I have found that telling other people that are close to me only makes it worse because they get too emotional and I then feed off of their emotion, making it worse. My situation is different from yours though. I am self-supporting and live alone. I also deal with nearly constant anxiety and have done so for so long that I have sort of settled in a state of unreality where things don't feel real and so they do not affect me as much as they did when I had a normal emotional range. It's hard to explain. I am tired of it though and am considering going on medication to alleviate it as it is ruining my life.

what I do is send myself some messages every morning (I use virtual meetings on Google Calendar to send me emails; you could do same, or mobile, or just stick labels on your bathroom mirror) in which spell out key messages for me in social, e.g.
- it probably won't go well; don't get your hopes up
- just stick to talking about the NT's non-stressful interests
- do not try to give other people your (brilliant lol) ideas; it just does not work
- do not try to notice everything that is going on; turn your radar off
- I do not have control of social situations. Accept it.
- if I start crashing do not be nasty or aggressive to people; just go quiet, and then exit as soon as possible
- limit how much social I do; you have very limited capacity only
- forgive yourself continually
etc

that way my messages are fresh in my mind whenever a social situation occurs that day.


a similar idea would be to carry a card or book with key messages, or have a page stored on your mobile phone, that you could reach for, read and follow (no matter how you're feeling) when you're in an at risk situation
e.g.
- if I'm feeling agitated and I'm talking fast; get out, go home, NOW.
- call Mum now, and ask her to read my 'instructions for a crisis'
etc


i also try to audit each social situation afterwards; analysing what worked or didn't work, so I can develop and improve my plan


is that all super-obvious stuff that you've already tried?

You hate yourself because you know your personality stinks. Yeah I know it is like telling you that the sky is blue. But try cutting out the negativity for a change, when you write something, read it, look at it how it is negative, stop the thoughts in its tracks. If something bad happens, let it go.

Or get some anxiety pills I feel numb after taking them

I just want to say how sorry I am for all the mean and nasty things I've said. I can't take it back, but I hope you can forgive me.

you can choose to be a victim, or an accountable person.

"A victim is powerless and at the mercy of everybody and everything. a victim is out of control. A victim is along for the ride called life but has no say over speed, direction, or destination. A victim has no choices.
A victim is always asking questions like: "Why did it happen?" " Why this, why me, why now?". VIctims are excellent at inventing stories. "They did it to me again!". A good victim story can assign fault and blame, and in so doing, inflict harm and suffering.

With accountability you see that things do not just happen by accident or at random. You will see and accept that your involvement, no matter how slight or incidental it may seem, is essential to the outcome. This insight bestows ownership of the outcome and it is only from ownership that you can become empowered.

With accountability you can see circumstances clearly, you can accept them at face value and you can ask "What shall I do to make things better?". You will find your answer from your position of owndership and responsibility and you will take positive action.

An accountable person is focused on what works rather than what doesn't, keeps promises, never procrastinates, never uses excuses never blames others.

An accountable person makes free choices, accepts responsibility for each outcome, is enthusiastic, is alive, is committed to learning and is in control.

An accountable person has a wonderful life and is empowered with the inner strength to overcome challenges. An accountable person has an inner peace and a strong self-image."