Coworkers are cruel

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Maybe I'm missing something, but what? Torture? Nothing in what you've quoted mentions torture.

I'm starting to notice that this is a recurring pattern for people with AS. I've had the same problem multiple times when the people that I were attracted to became very close friends with me to the point where they seemed genuinely interested in me. At one point when I expressed myself to another student who was close friends with me at the time, a week later she reported me for stalking even though I never really stalked her to begin with.

Are there easier ways in which we can detect people that are attracted or not attracted to us?

No torture, of course. "Torture". Just that such a feels unpleasant. (That is from my own perspective, though and "ironic torture", not literally just symbolic)
What I meant was, that there is no sense to do something like that, when you already told somebody that you have feelings for him/her.

But I don't know what was the concrete situation and the correct chronological order of the events.
Generally I could think that this kind of teasing doesn't make very much sense to men, but they'll play along, usually. (Maybe not in that case)

It is a risky strategy, to artificially hold back to make a man "conquer" a woman and wanting him to show how much worth she is.
I'd be tempted to say that aspies won't figure out when it is the right moment to give up on this.
Or they'd not understand what happened, when the thing went wrong.

If an NT man would ask out an NT women, I guess it is even for NTs a sign that the woman is not interested, usually.
And that'll go fast. The next day they will already have accepted it and completely stop advancing,
without complicated emotional reactions.

To do these tricks you'll need to be completely in it and know all the common reactions and feelings

I'd suppose that maybe there is some attraction and interest to have a relationship.
But when you express yourself, it would be perceived as strange and then they would fear you.

They are just so damn quick on things and when they'll send you rejection or attraction signals that you don't understand they'll be totally pissed.
If you then pursue anything further they'll feel harassed and afraid of you. And they'll feel it impossible to talk to you anymore about whatever

That is also OCD, I figured this out yesterday. The thing that you can't understand why all this effort of yours has gone up in smoke in just a few seconds.
Then you'd want to know. But you wouldn't be allowed to and you'll never get an answer anyway. Anyway you'll go a bit too far to still find out, because you'll find this unfair.
You'll be screwed and unable to find out why this all happened. You won't be able to detect your errors or work on them.

NTs will never understand that this is unfair or why this is perceived to be unfair by you.
And they would never imagine what kind of suffering this will mean to you.
And in such cases you can't really put your rights over that of others.

You can just disconnect and step out.

On top of that these things tend to get so messy that it'll be very difficult to tell from a true moral point of view who's wrong and who's right.

Even if you would ask some of her friends this would be considered stalking.
(Even though this is pretty normal to look around and ask from persons near them)

Whenever he/she feels bad then it is considered stalking. If not then this is normal.
Now you wouldn't want to make anybody feel bad, but you'll do because of your obsession
You'll not be able to sense this really in the right moment.

And then this can be really used as an abuse on you (as you can see from the post on the boy getting banned from WoW)
Who was know how wrong in this story is a bit difficult to say,
but it will be very easy to see that you are persistently asking something.
And that's were NTs don't think at all (and they can't know the backgrounds either)

Last edited by onks on 10 Oct 2012, 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

Aspieness increases by age, and so does social communication skills. At least for me. I'm much more social now than as a kid. I still have problems in groups though.