Do you love your relatives?

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I'm fortunate enough to have parents and sisters that I love and that love me back. It's not just the blood tie that makes me love them. I can sense that they truly care about me. I can't say the same about my extended relatives because I can't even remember their faces now. I simply didn't see them often enough.

the most unappealing bird call i can think of is the call of the "purple spotted whinger".

Love has always been complicated for me. The only family member I can say I actually love is my mom and I'm not 100% sure if I love her. I feel guilty writing that, but it's true.

This.

I love my mother very much. She has always been there for me and always done her best.

I have an ambivalent relation with my father. We can annoy each other a lot and we don't have the easy interaction my mother and I have. He can be terribly critical and we're not close. He was never an important part of my life, he didn't play with me as a child, he was never someone I could talk to, or go to for advice. I don't hate him, I do care for him in some way because he's my father, but I can't say that I love him either, nor even like him. He hasn't earned my respect in any way. And a lot of the time I wonder what is wrong with him. He's gotta have something

My maternal grandmother was very critical and difficult to get along with. We had a lot of quarrels (as did she and my mother). I know she loved me and I did care about her.

I loved my maternal grandfather very much. He was kind and patient and he played with me and tried to be there for me every way he could.

I never knew my paternal grandfather.
My paternal grandmother is someone I only saw a handful of time throughout my life. I was somewhere between neutral and friendly until she managed to tell her friend that her sons (she only has two) made a mistake in choosing the wives they did. IOW, my mother was a mistake for my father. Kaboom! I never forgave her that statement. Criticizing a child's beloved mother in front of her is not a good idea. When she died, my first thought was good riddance, followed by indifference.

I've never really known my uncle at all; I only saw him a few times but he seems nice and kind. I don't know his wife at all. My paternal grandmother called her crazy but I long since stopped listening to her or put much faith in her opinion.

My aunt up north seems very kind but I don't really know her that well.

my aunt in the south is a bit less generally kind than my northern aunt but she's never been anything but friendly to me.
I don't love my aunts and uncle because I don't know them well enough, but I do like them just fine.

I have 3 cousins. My male cousin is someone I have only briefly met in my life. I don't know him well at all, and since he's not even bothering to reply to my emails I can't say I care about him.
His little sister and I got along fine when I visited them as a child, but I haven't seen her since I was 12 and we haven't been in communication for about 20 years (unless you count writing "happy birthday" on Facebook), so I don't know my youngest cousin.

My oldest female cousin and I got along fine when we were younger but in adult age she has turned into a real bi*** who lashes out at everyone for everything and nothing. I was very disappointed when I got in touch with her again. We're not speaking to each other anymore.

My cousins have 5 children, only two of whom I have met at all.

I also have an aunt (who was sent away due to economy) in Denmark and I've never met her or her sons.

Last edited by Skilpadde on 28 Oct 2012, 9:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I love my 2 sons and wife.

I love my Mum and Uncle.

I like/tolerate my Dad and Brother.

That's it. I think I have deep love for pieces of music or films and books.

I don't know if it is the same but I love historical figures like JS Bach or Beethoven.

I do love Google Earth and Wikipedia, and the periodic table.

For most of my living immediate family I would go as far as to say I "love" them - but don't necessarily "like" them. Certainly not enough to stick around this craphole of a state once I get the means to leave it.

My father: I love him, or at least the man he used to be. Probably has Asperger's himself but doesn't care to know anything about it; has made clear time and time again he's chosen his new wife and relationship with "God" over his own children. I despise his wife, who is the most proudly ignorant, close-minded, bigoted, bitter person I've ever known in real life. He couldn't give two craps about my Asperger's diagnosis, and she's of the belief that autistic children are basically a punishment for their parents' sins.

My mother: Probably my most steadfast advocate, has a number of Aspie traits herself, but is fraught with so much emotional baggage I can only handle her in small doses, however much I love her. She married a really awesome guy who I'd venture to say I'm probably closer to now than my real dad - he's certainly been there for me and my sister more than our dad has.

My sister: a very hot/cold relationship. She mainly seems to be in contact with me if she needs something from me. I had thought things were getting better, but this week she made some very ignorant/hurtful comments about my Asperger's, and now I have little to no desire to be in touch with her. Definite "love, don't like" here. If it weren't for our blood connection we would have little in common at all.

My grandparents: I only really had two grandparents who lived long enough for me to get to know them. I loved them dearly.

Aunts/uncles: Only really have one aunt and uncle I am in semi-regular contact with, my dad's older brother and his wife in California. They've been awesomely supportive and welcoming, even though I live almost 2000 miles away. My sister and I will actually be spending this Thanksgiving with them and my cousins. My dad's younger brother and his wife don't really keep in contact much, though they're polite when we do see each other. My mom's brother... in and out of jail all his life, total sociopath. Don't have or want anything to do with him.

Cousins: Hoping to get closer to at least the California branch of them. I haven't seen them but a handful of times in my life, but my aunt has told me that one of them actually works with kids with Asperger's, so I'd like to pick his brain on that. By and large... they're polite when I do see them, I'm friends with a couple on Facebook, but we really don't have much of a relationship.

I love my family, but I can't stand to be around them for very long. They're always trying to tell me what I should think, what I should say, what I should own, and who should be my friends.

For the love of Dog, I'm fifty-five years old and I can think for myself!

It works for me that we live on opposite coasts, and that distance works against their self-righteous meddling.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family far, far away.

I don't hate any of them but I can say with all honesty that I "love" only a few of them. I have "affection" (but not quite "love") for a few others but the rest (I have many relatives) I feel nothing more towards them than I would a random stranger. I'm only (semi) comfortable around those I love and feel affection towards (the former more-so than the latter). My mother and I have a very negative relationship but I think that I love her (although I'm not sure most sane people (neurotypical or not) would). Actually, my relationship with all those that I care about is quite bittersweet (not sure if it was always this way, but it certainly is now).

Edit:

I feel like this actually. Perhaps that's why I feel so bittersweet about my relationships. I do love my (maternal) grandmother, my sister, and my youngest first cousin but I think this actually describes the feeling(s) I have towards the others (that I actually know). Towards certain relatives I feel something (I'm not sure what but it causes me to feel great empathy towards them and I know when they are gone, it will cause me pain) but towards the others, this quote definitely describes it.

Last edited by Drebi on 28 Oct 2012, 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I like some, dislike others, hate a few, love the majority of them.

This.

I usually say "blood may be thicker than water, but no blood is thicker than ink". Meaning your given family (the one your born/adopted into) may be more important than strangers but your chosen family (partner/children/friends) is just as, if not more, important as your given family.

Well, not all of them. There are some I never really bonded with. But I think that's also true for NTs: they just would never admit it.