Staring to doubt my AS...

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I have not officially been diagnosed at this point, so my AS is only speculation right now. But, for years there's been no doubt in my mind. Until now.

As a child I had a very difficult time making friends. My first high school was no exception. I got a bit better at it, as I met some good people in the music program. But overall, I was still very socially awkward.

I've been at my current high school for almost two years. While a lot of my physical symptoms of AS remain, such as my physical clumsiness and sensory issues, I have doubts. My fashion sense, for one thing, has improved dramatically. I have many friends here that I've met in a variety of places.

My band and choir teachers don't see me as socially awkward. Rather, they see me as quiet leaders. And the teachers in my Gay-Straight Alliance (I'm an open lesbian, also the group's token lesbian this year) see me as a driving force of the group. And, well, I am. I've basically been running the show this year, and everyone seems to really like where I'm taking us.

So there's all that to consider. Now, I've always done very well in school (my average is high 80s low 90s) and I seem to have a rare gift. By that, I mean to say, I'm very talented in both the arts and math and science. I was talking with my calculus teacher about it, and she said she's seen very few students like me in the past. I don't know why, but for some reason I see this as an AS thing.

So I'm just asking for some opinions. Is it possible that while I have some symptoms of AS, as a child I was simply in the wrong environment? Could I be NT? Is there a chance I do have AS? Or am I somewhere in between?

The 'textbook' Aspie with 'no fashion sense' is more attributable to wearing clothes that are more comfortable and don't require a lot of maintenance.

I've noticed in my particular mileu that a steady core group of people engaged in a mutual endeavor are prone to 'not seeing the forest for the trees' - when you're in an environment where everyone's there for the same goals you'll tend to project as being a bit more passionate than the others, thus a natural leader, naturally. Band and choir aren't exactly where the popular kids at school want to be at any rate; everyone there has an element of not being able to fit in, even though the more 'NT' programs (sports) couldn't properly function without them.

If you've had a suspicion of having AS for the longest time and it's caused you to seek a Dx, odds are good that you're not off the mark. As you get older you may find less difficulty in making friends, though keeping them will prove to be the battle.

I prefer to say I'm on the spectrum, because I have no AS diagnosis, but I can relate to many of the traits and use related solutions to help improve my life. What this means for you is don't worry if you had AS and now you don't. It doesn't define you, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be successful.

I think the environment does strongly influence the AS symptoms. I can relate to what you are saying because in certain situations where I'm passionate about something I can be an amazing leader, and other minor social situations I hide in the corner.

I too am very good at creative and logical tasks, but my social skills, and my ability to learn those skills, is poor. I don't know if this is an AS thing, but I've just accepted I have lots of great skills, so I can't complain.