If You Could Get Rid of Certain Social Rules...

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I agree with what you say here.

Making out thank you cards
Getting your families and friends Christmas gifts
Having to do polite lies
Dress codes
Small talk like "how are you?"

I'd get rid of the handshake too. I have no idea when to do it, I usually wait for the other person to (can't think of the proper word) start it.

I don't mind handshakes. I just wait for the other person to hold theirs out and I take it and they shake it. I also wouldn't mind if someone got rid of that social rule. I don't know why we do it anyway. I just figured it was a random thing people did, I didn't know there were social cues for when it's appropriate to do it. I knew for a fact when you meet someone, you hold you hand out for them to take and you shake it and I just thought it was something people did for fun. But people don't always do it when they meet someone so it must not be mandatory unless there are social cues for it.

One woman is not all women.

I would be OK with this instead of eye contact and a handshake.

In Ireland, it's reasonably clear when you do it. But I think I was in my twenties before someone explained it to me! It seems that if you meet someone for the first time, you shake hands. Then you don't usually do it when you meet, unless you meet each other for the first time in ages, and you do shake hands then. Otherwise, you usually do it at a celebration to congratulate someone (weddings, christenings, birthday parties). I'm pretty sure of myself on the shaking hands bit. At least when it's Irish people! Not sure about how they do it abroad.

It's the kissing cheeks I can't figure. I have no idea what prompts people to kiss friends on the cheek, and I have on occasion ended up kissing someone under their ear. This could be inappropriate, for all I know, but I daren't ask! I don't want to get rid of it, though, since I quite like being kissed. I want clear rules for it, though. I'd hate to be in France, however, since anyone might kiss you, and I can think of loads of people I'd hate to have kissing my cheek, yuk!

With Christmas gifts, one should give them out because they want to give them not due to some social tradition. The true meaning of Christmas is giving and sharing. If one is socially required isn't the true meaning of Christmas lost?

I'm not a fan of handshakes myself. I usually have something weird going on with my hands, like I just sneezed on it or I just washed them and there were no towels so they're wet or I'm carrying lots of stuff around. One time I got cornered for a handshake and I'd just been fiddling with the icemaker so my hands were icy cold and damp.

I'd get rid of the convention that it's weird/bad for a woman to be out in a club or restaurant at night alone. Sometimes I feel like going out and don't have anyone to go with. But why all the stares? (I know it's dangerous from a crime point of view, but I'm just talking about getting stared at by fellow patrons).

And I'd let people wear whatever they want wherever they want--within modesty/hygeine/public decency limits. If you want to wear a tinkerbell fairy costume or a rainbow wig around, why the hell not! I mean, no impersonating police officers or something like that, but don't laugh someone out of school because she shows up in a ballet costume, like I did.

I would get rid of the fashion compitition, and just allow everyone to wear whatever they want without being ridiculed.

There are other social rules that I would like to get rid of, but I can't think of any at the moment.

What if you don't have any money? What if you always found it too stressful so you decided "forget it" and skipped it every year?


People feel compelled to do this and they end up going broke every year or in debt because they feel obligated to do this. All because it's part of the social rule.

Greeting people I don't know, just because we share the same space - for example, in the elevator, stairs, corridor. The only exception being the doorman or whoever is working in keeping the space clean, because they are doing a service to me.

Ah yes, I HATE this too! I don't think it's one of those ''must do otherwise you're weird'' rules because not everybody I know greets strangers. But my mum and her sister do all the time. Her sister even greets people who are walking by her front garden when she's standing at her front door and they're like 25 yards away from her, if she just meets some random stranger's eye for about half a second she will greet them and they seem to want to greet her too - even though she is very unconfident and suffers depression and social anxiety.

This is what I am talking about as well. If you don't have the money then in my opinion one should not buy christmas presents. If you find it to stressful then continue to forget it and skip it. If it is a detriment to you then why follow a social tradition that is not good for you????

I've always hated feeling like I'm obligated to do things like give presents because it is socially improper to do so. IMHO, it is freaking stupid especially to put one's own physical and mental health for social customs and traditions. On the other hand, this does not give me the right to stop others from following these customs or traditions.

Please take a look at this site book by libertarian author Harry Browne. Personally, I don't agree with some of the tenets of libertarianism as I see major flaws. This is ok. None of us has to agree with everything he says. The point is we can choose.

http://eiiiforum.com/picsfromusers/howifoundfreedom.pdf

Especially look at freedom from social restrictions on page 137.



Here is the thing. They do not have to do it. They are not obligated whatsoever. It is a trap and an illusion they have put themselves in. They do not have to be in social relationships that require this or hang with people who demand this. Neither do you.

I do believe we all have a choice in someway but each choice we make has an associated cost like Mr. Browne says. Please read it at your leisure. I think you may find some value.

I don't like sending cards really.

If it wasn't a social rule, they wouldn't feel compelled to do it. I swear even NTs see things in black and white because they feel they have to do it no matter what and this is one of them. Of course not everyone is this black and white about that rule so they end up not buying anything. But some feel bad about it though and guilty and I don't understand it but maybe it's the social rule that makes them feel that way because they are breaking it. So if we were to get rid of this rule, people would stop feeling bad and guilty about not getting anyone anything and not feel compelled to doing it or else they feel bad and they feel pressured and worry about people being upset about not getting anything from them.