Other people keep changing!

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I'm still the same person I was 10 years ago. If I've changed at all, they have been very small changes. Some physical maturity, and that's about it. But all my old school peers are off doing things like getting boyfriends and girlfriends and going to university and drinking and partying. Even my younger non-autistic siblings are moving on. My sister is doing make-up artistry, and my brother has just gotten into med school.

But I'm still reading and writing and getting up to no michief at all, just like I was back when we were kids. It's like I'm stuck.

It's really weird seeing people I used to know quite well on Facebook, because they're all so terribly different now. And I'm still the same old person as ever. I feel much younger than them, somehow.

I hate it when things change!

I'm glad I haven't changed over the years. I'll be a 21 year old Mod forever, no matter what others say to me.

People changing is my #1 reason for losing friends. At some point they just become alien to me.

I know I have changed in some aspects, but I am still the same person, whereas some of my friends have changed so much that I can hardly recognize them anymore... they are different people.

I have changed considerably over the years. I have trained up my social skills and also built up a moderate tolerance to certain levels of noise and social situations, which has allowed me to make friends who have both protected me and encouraged me to broaden my horizons. I also moved far away from my family because they (and the whole culture there) were doing considerable damage to me. I had help all along the way and have been very lucky, but the further I moved from my initial comfort zone, the less terrifying it became, and the more of the world and of life I have been able to experience. My interests have evolved and even my personality has changed a bit. I used to be terribly shy and frightened all the time, completely trusting of people and therefore easily victimized, and mostly kept to myself and held on to the things that brought me comfort. On the other hand, I was never happy.

Now although I still have very low tolerances to noise and social contact, I am able to go out and do things with people, even in unfamiliar environments (as long as I always have a safety net). I have learned to be a bit less trusting of people (though I refuse to become as suspicious and jealous as most people are) and to stand up for myself when something is happening that I don't like, so I am not so easily victimized anymore. Even my appearance has changed as I have discovered (thanks to encouragement by friends) that wearing women's clothing isn't so terrible and I can still be comfortable and keep my own "style" without looking like a little boy who wears the same sweatshirt every day.

Deep down inside, of course I am still the same person. But if I ran into someone now that I knew 10 years ago, I doubt they would recognize me.

I don't think people really change that much on the inside, that core of who they are. But external change seems perfectly natural to me. Everyone is always growing, and if you don't learn to adapt to the world a bit, you end up stuck in a loop all alone. And actually, I think if I hadn't gotten brave (and fed up) enough to move away from my family, I would probably still be stuck exactly where I was back then, and just as unhappy. That one brave and terrifying step of just getting on a plane and leaving was the single greatest thing I ever did for myself, and if you're feeling left behind or stuck, I'd say it's time to make a big change. It doesn't have to be as drastic as moving to a new country like I did, but just change one significant thing in your life that will force you to change other things as well, and you won't regret it. If all else fails, you can probably always go back to living with your parents or whatever you're doing now.

On the other hand, if you're satisfied where you are, then I guess there's no need to change. I'm sure not everyone has the same need to experience more of the world and of life as I do.

We (we're twin sisters) feel like we haven't changed much in ten years either. Ten years ago we were almsot 13, living with our parents, had no friends our own age, lived more in the world of classic film than the real world, wrote stories all the time, and talked to our cats more than other people. Speed forward to now and it's the same. The only thing that changed is that everything has gotten worse. We now have horrible OCD and anorexia and insomnia on top of the depression and isolation we had as thirteen year olds. It is horible to see how people you knew when you were younger have changed so much though. All of my peers are done with college, have boyfriends, have jobs etc and we're still pretty much as inexperienced asd children. The social awkwardness and compulsive behaviors associated with Asperger's have only become worse over the years. We used to function more normally (i.e. attending family gatherings, going out after 2:00 pm or eating out at restaurants). But now none of these things seem possible. So in a way we have changed, but for the worse. Sorry this isn't a more cheery post .

Other people feel that they need to keep changing.

I have made small changes but not a lot though.

It's the opposite. My life is always full of crisis, instability, and upheaval. A lot of my college friends have settled down--or not--but are very similar to how they were when I left them.

I have lived at 17 addresses since I turned 18. I've been shot at and blown up too. Yes. Indeed.

But I think being at polar extremes is very characteristic of high-functioning autism in general.

I noticed this my freshman year of high school. I was diagnosed with leukemia, and spent a year doing schoolwork from home and the hospital. When I returned to school I noticed my small group of friends that I had since elementary school were drastically different from what they used to be. They had different interests, and talked about different things. I felt they were completely different people while I was more or less the same. I guess it is harder to notice as a gradual change, but since I had very limited communication with them for a while it became much more noticeable.

I have changed. I do computer now instead of video games all the time nor watching lot of TV. My online activities have changed because I go to different places now. I don' go groups anymore, only forums. I am married, have a son, live in a different state. My social skills have gotten a little better. I am not as obsessed about cleaning like I was in my teens and early adolescents. It doesn't cause me distress if something isn't perfect and I don't have to do it NOW when I see something needs to be cleaned. Plus I have a job. In my senior year of high school, it was working in the high school library dusting bookshelves and making bookmarks and working at a folk shop cleaning. I have also improved parts of myself.