Problems with Planning

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I have a problem with planning. I want to plan every minute of every day ahead but I can't because there are too many unpredictable things every day. The way I do things now is to only have appointments with others as fixed points in my planning.
When no such appointment is in my near future I just set out to do something I want to do, and don't think about time until that which I set out to do is done. For example I might want to eat breakfast, go downstairs for it, meet someone and get distracted and only finish my breakfast hours later.
When an appointment is near I'm in a constant panic mode, trying to do as much of what I want to do before it's time for that appointment. I never know in advance how long things will take because even if I'm in a hurry the time things take is highly variable, so I might have an hour left in which I just feel anxious for the appointment, or I might run out of time before I've done everything.
It's not a system I feel comfortable with because I feel I'm either wasting time and discovering too late I should have done something earlier (running out of clothes, out of food, etc.) or I'm really stressed because I don't know if I have enough time or not.

I'd like to know from those of you who have to keep track of their own appointments and housekeeping tasks how you plan those things and how well your system works.

Last edited by Threore on 30 Dec 2012, 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

You're having classic executive functioning problems.

They're common among us with ASDs.

My main problem is that my plans and systems are way too complex, and would take just as much energy to keep as they do to create.

I apologize, but I don't think I can be of much help.

Hmm, I hadn't thought it would be that directly connected to ASD. That must mean other people here have the same problem though, so it increases the chance of someone knowing a solution.

Routine is key for me, things become so much easier to initiate once they're routine.

^^^

Routine is how I function. And planning is hard. Not knowing everything can be difficult. Making sure I do what I need to do in order for things to happen as they are supposed to is also difficult.

It has literally taken me about10+ years to become able to just hop in the shower when I need a shower, although I still find it easier on "my shower days" and my weekly bath has become a welcome, relaxing highlight for me. The same goes for loads of washing, scrubbing the floor etc - it's still a ton easier to do on the days I've set aside for those tasks, but I'm now able to do hem when the situation requires it.


I've found that this has improved a fair amount by having learned to organise myself while on ADHD meds, although the biggest improvement has come after my GP stopped prescribing them - getting back into driving after 13 years may have contributed too as it taught me to be more spontaneous, rather than the paralysing anxiety that went along with relying on public transport.

Yeah, I still can't just hop in the bath (I don't shower if I can avoid it) when I want to. It can take several hours from "I need to take a bath" to "I am now taking that bath." Also for several other things, including eating. I've actually managed to improve my eating issues significantly, and I managed to solve my latest issue by getting food stamps.

I actually have had some improvement from self-medicating with ephedra from the late 90s until 2003. I stopped for various reasons, and now of course the FDA has banned ephedra in the US.

I sometimes get stuck wanting to play video games but not playing them because I do not know what will happen. I mean, it's not limited to things I have to do but often to things I want to do. It's frustrating.

Interesting you mention this, yes I get that too, there are many games I want to play and I know once I get into them I will enjoy them greatly, but the initial effort required to get started seems prohibited.

I don't know how old you are but I'm in my Thirties now and the ability to spontaneously grab a bath or a shower is something I only gained in the past couple of years, so there is hope for those in their Twenties struggling with this.

Ephedra is something I have had before in cough medicine, although stimulants do help me, they also make me more self-aware than is sometimes good for me. Have you read about "exposure anxiety"? A lot of my executive functioning issues that I have managed to mostly overcome remind me of this. (Certainly the paralysing anxiety and often ability to do things only when someone else initiates them as well - e,g, can't get up to go to the loo until someone else in the room does the same, then it looks like I am following them=

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Exposure-Anxiet ... 1843100517

I haven't heard of exposure anxiety. It seems to be a way to describe certain kinds of anxiety in autistic people. I am not fully clear on what is is from what I've read online, but I found a pdf which may be helpful.

Also, I'm 43. I've managed to improve in various ways over the years, but not so much that one. I do keep trying, however.

I definitely have executive dysfunction. If my routine is thrown out for any reason, I get confused and forget to do things that I would normally do at a certain time or part of the day. Also, no matter how well prepared I am for something I always struggle to get there on time. I was even bought an alarm clock as a birthday present in one job because they thought I was late so frequently because I couldn't get up (although having always had sleep problems I've never been a morning person anyway).

I am never on top of housework, my ironing pile is so massive you wouldn't believe it. It's almost as tall as my 7 year old. I do have the time to try to get up to date with much more than I do, but I can't seem to organise myself.

I think this is why I always used to live my life by "to do" lists, calendars and diaries, because my head couldn't get organised otherwise. Since having children everything is shot to hell, I am too distracted by the children to maintain "to do" lists or diaries.

This is my favorite challenge within the ASD. I'm in my 7th year of trying to optimize my planning and rituals. Told my doc that I'd probably be doing this till the day that I die, and he said it was probably not neccesairy. But doc, I want to! Oh?? lol.

There is one thing though, which is so called Flow. I can get totally absorbed in studying or other projects (ranging from investment analysis to music making). In such cases all rituals/planning are discontinued and I'm allowed to stay in the Flow. Which sometimes means eating nothing for a whole day, but ending up with a load of work done in 1 field and having a great time doing it.

So the consensus seems to be that it's not easily solved but might get better over a period of years, and that routine and careful planning helps. I'll try that then. I've been thinking about this problem and I feel there are three distinct parts to it:
- Tasks take too long due to distraction by something interesting or being absorbed in it
- Starting tasks when the circumstances aren't exactly right
- Knowing what task to do first so they all get done in time

Routine and planning are probably the only things that help against the second and third part, although they only lessen it and don't actually remove the problem. For the first problem I'm thinking of carrying some sort of alarm with me that alerts me every X minutes so I check whether I'm still on schedule and allows me to adjust if I'm not. If that works I'd stop wasting time, which would be a great improvement.

Has anyone tried something like that, a periodic alarm?

Something I do to make planning easier, is I try to picture planning my day as if I were doing it for 1000 people.

The emphasis isn't the exact minute and time when something needs to be done, it's about trying to keep the group moving.

You obviously wouldn't plan a 15 by 15 minute schedule for 1000 people. You would allow for longer stop and start times. But would also put more momentum in something being done when one is doing it.

I think one of the major problems we face is trying to exist in a modern clock. When humans evolved to be in a completely different time set.

I try hard to work better in 3-4 hour windows, than I do in minute by minute ones.

I also plan for conditions. Not time's.

When I play guitar I play until I have a moment of enjoyment. I know I've played enough when I reached this point. It's a state I'm searching for, not a point on the clock.


When I goto parties, I leave as soon as everyone has showed up, and the first person leaves. I don't care about the times.

I plan for flexibility. My goal isn't time well used, it's about achieving states.

Everything I do has this. I will only start and stop, when a state is achieved.

If I end up spending 2 hours, at the gym instead of 1, I simply, skip my next visit and allow my body to heal.

Those are very interesting methods. I think I need flexibility like that in my scheduling of things.

It will probably take less time to plan than planning every minute of every day ahead. I'd still need to schedule/ get a routine for fixed-time appointments. For example I can't be late for class or I can't get in, but if I'm way too early I'll chicken out and leave before the person I go to class with arrives. When I don't have something like that coming up your method of planning and taking your time for things seems more relaxed than planning every minute.