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loner1984
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25 Dec 2012, 1:43 am

Sleep helps my mind recharge. I can get some bad headaches from socializing. Like you would a day.after drinking. Scary how that can happen just from noise.



namaste
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25 Dec 2012, 9:15 am

Sometimes my anger aggravates after socialising with all the rubbish that people blurt
And sometimes i spiral into deep depression with all that ostracisation that people do
And more importantly since i am socially confused i prefer walking alone in mall, garden
and probably just with my husband i cant handle being in a group


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LisaOfShades
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25 Dec 2012, 9:46 am

Yes, there is soooo many things to perceive and analyze in social interactions... that,s probably why it's such a common dread for people... the body want to protect itself.

But, as a full hermit, I have a few ideas before you go down a path that might make it worst in the long run...

It might be the person... if it's a "energy vampire" always talking about negative things and complaining about her bad love life... it will exhaust you more than someone who's trying to share a good time, and not just dump her s**t on you, steal your soul, and walk away.

It might be the activity... if you spend the evening playing a shooter game full volume with loud heavy metal music when you usually read a book in silence... play a board game instead. It will be way less over stimulating. The Averages (normal people) smoke pot like a chimney to try to cool their system down from the madness... at the same time... instead to lower the sound (I can play videogames on mute with soft music!) so... some fun things are not good for anyone.

Maybe you can make it last less long, and take some bathroom pauses to breathe deeply... not ideal to do XD But at work it used to help me... even when some strange culture shat beans that smelled like death XD It was still better than too many things moving around...

But I have severe adrenal fatigue, so if to heal you need to isolate yourself utterly... been there, done that, still doing it~

Enjoy~



Morgana
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25 Dec 2012, 11:19 am

I find social situations tiring too, but it depends on the person/situation. One on one, in a relaxing atmosphere having conversations about my special interest is no problem for me. Any kind of small talk is hell though, and I can't do it for more than a few minutes. I generally try to avoid the situations I don't like, or that I know will be too noisy or too much small talk.

I also get tired, and tend to fall asleep while watching certain kinds of movies on dvd; (I notice the ones that make me fall asleep are generally the movies that have lots of little bits of social information). I wonder if this is the same mechanism at work here as in the people who get tired being in a social situation, i.e., the constant analyzing, which can be physically draining after awhile. Does anyone else experience something like that?


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Joe90
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25 Dec 2012, 12:33 pm

I don't find socialising exhausting. I just find it boring, unless I am with my own friends who like me for who I am and we do things what we are comfortable doing, like doing a bit of shopping or going out for lunch or getting the bus or the train to somewhere nice.

I find the obligation to socialising with strangers more emotionally exhausting. Like when I went on holiday last year with my mum and her sister, we kind of couldn't avoid socialising with other people. There was a lot of coach tours, which was great because none of us can drive and we get to visit different places, but it was an obligation to have to socialise. My mum and her sister are NTs and they often say that they are shy and hate socialising, but then when they give in to social pressure, they know how to do it right, and can engage in a conversation with someone and make friends before they know it.

I would love to go away on holiday with somebody who truly hates socialising and is not afraid to avoid it, and just likes to stick with me and do things together without having to talk to other people.


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Konstans
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01 Jan 2013, 11:34 pm

Socialising is really exhausting to me. What I find so strange is that even my best friend tires me out even if we only talk about stuff that interest me.
I should have been relaxed during his visits, but obviously, I'm not.
I also get very tired after a long phone conversation. (+15 minutes) I usually rant about special interest issues and can easily go on for hours with uninterrupted talk. I had to stop with this 5-6 years ago (Many people called me as I was very good at collecting information about local history, sort the information and give away all research for free.) I had to go to bed very early if two persons called the same day.

I also hate to bumb into people I know on supermarkeds, etc. First of all, I have to focus on identifying them, then what to say and finally how to behave. As usual, I always put on a big smile because that pleases NT people and I have found it to avoid confusion in how I communicate. (A smile shows that what you say is not meant in a bad way)



Konstans
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01 Jan 2013, 11:37 pm

Socialising is really exhausting to me. What I find so strange is that even my best friend tires me out even if we only talk about stuff that interest me.
I should have been relaxed during his visits, but obviously, I'm not.
I also get very tired after a long phone conversation. (+15 minutes) I usually rant about special interest issues and can easily go on for hours with uninterrupted talk. I had to stop with this 5-6 years ago (Many people called me as I was very good at collecting information about local history, sort the information and give away all research for free.) I had to go to bed very early if two persons called the same day.

I also hate to bumb into people I know on supermarkeds, etc. First of all, I have to focus on identifying them, then what to say and finally how to behave. As usual, I always put on a big smile because that pleases NT people and I have found it to avoid confusion in how I communicate. (A smile shows that what you say is not meant in a bad way)



Eurythmic
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02 Jan 2013, 6:04 am

I find socialising very exhausting mentally.
Around my friends it's not too bad because we all know how each other "ticks". Going to parties with lots of noise and making small talk with people I've just met wears me down quite quickly so I tend not to stay long and need alone time afterwards to recuperate. I also have some degree of faceblindness and find it mentally strenuous identifying and remembering the names of people I've met before.



Comp_Lex
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02 Jan 2013, 6:39 am

I like being social, but just like you have to recharge my batteries after a few hours. I think it is because of my anxities and irrational fear of people (probably caused by having been bullied). It probably sounds very paradoxal, but I do have social needs actually. I can be perfectly alone for extended periods of time, but I just want to get out from time to time and when I get out, it's like I'm confronting my fears each time. It's the same thing with work.



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02 Jan 2013, 9:02 am

I sure do. Especially when my friend comes over to my house, and talks to me non-stop for four days. I won't want to go anywhere the day after she goes back home, because I need a break after talking to her so much.



alan78
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27 Jan 2013, 12:00 am

Socialising is a massive problem for me, i can find it tiring also. I think it because i find it hard to pay attention and concentrate, i am a very daydreamy person and live in a world of my own. I have never been able to work because i find socialising so hard. I can be around friends for a small amount of time, but when i am around strangers i find it impossible, all the effort to make an impression makes me nervous and gives me panic attacks.



noxnocturne
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27 Jan 2013, 12:07 am

That's a big 'yes'. I could just be out with two other friends and by the time I get home, I'm so tired, all I want to do is veg out in my room, listening to music.



kamiyu910
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27 Jan 2013, 12:34 am

I get so exhausted with socializing. I used to be better, I think, but I get a bad headache and get super irritated. I've had meltdowns before when I just can't escape. We once had a houseguest stay with us for a couple weeks. By the second day I wanted to practically kill him.
Depending on the activity and group I can last a few hours to maybe 8 hours before i have to take a break.


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namaste
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27 Jan 2013, 12:42 am

Now i know why i want to leave office parties midway...its the meltdown or anxiety
Now i know why i cant make friends in office and now due to poor social skills i am going to be demoted.


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MrBackward
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27 Jan 2013, 12:52 am

While social situations CAN tire me out I dont think that it is that bad.
Like other posters have said mental work is hard work so I suppose that it depends on how much focus you need in these situations.
That being said in situations where there are large (24+) amouts of people I quickly find that I need to withdraw from the situation. I generally find that during these events I sit/stand alone in a corner staring at people with a look on my face that says "come near me and I will hurt you"
I have been told that I am not plesant to be around the next day.


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FishStickNick
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27 Jan 2013, 1:28 am

Social situations can tire me out and/or make me feel anxious. Small groups I handle OK; larger groups and family get-togethers make me want to escape to a quiet room after a while and rest. I typically need a quiet day at home after a party.

Quote:
That being said in situations where there are large (24+) amouts of people I quickly find that I need to withdraw from the situation. I generally find that during these events I sit/stand alone in a corner staring at people with a look on my face that says "come near me and I will hurt you"

Same. Part is overstimulation, part of it is simply that I don't know how to engage in casual conversation. :?