Forcing socialization on young adults with Asperger's?

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I think that, as a 23 year old man who was diagnosed with AS at 15, my biggest regret is not trying to be more social. I sit around in my parents home playing video games all day, then sleeping, then waking the next day to play more video games, and not advancing my life. And to be fair, while I'm not really depressed about it, I do feel that my life could have been a lot more exciting if I'd gone out and made something of myself by being part of the world.

In that regard, I find nothing morally wrong with trying to get someone to be more social.

Only if they want to. It's morally wrong if they don't.

Some people don't like socializing (it's actually a criterion of autism).

I also have to agree!

The thing is, if I went to support group/day program full of people, I'm not going to "socially adjust". I'm always going to be the person sitting in the metaphorical back row, not talking to anyone

22.

And thank you very much to everyone for their responses.

What someone wants to do and what someone needs to do can very frequently be in conflict with each other.

At the age of 23, I feel like I look back at my life and think of all the times that I chose to stay at home and play video games over choosing to go out and do fun things and I feel a little bit of regret.

My parents pushed me to go out and be more social, but I feel like I wish they'd done a little bit more, and I wish that I'd embraced their pushing.

We're not talking about "normal" people who can benefit from a little push (say, the shy person who wants to socialize but is feeling a little scared at the prospect). We're talking about people who have pathological social deficits that can equate to pain and anxiety, and it's more likely to cause depression when the failures mount up. Socializing is the greatest weakness in ASDs, and it's a weakness that doesn't improve. Since it's so hard and disabling, you have to take in consideration what the patient wants; to do otherwise is showing a lack of care for the individual. If a person doesn't want to due to the ASD, you can't force them to socialize; do you know why? They'll either have a meltdown or shutdown -- violence is possible here. If the individual lashes out violently, it's your fault for forcing them; the consequences just aren't worth it, no matter how "well meaning" someone is.

It's like forcing a person without legs to try to walk like everyone else. If they want to be mobile, then you work around that with various aids (wheelchair); if someone with an ASD wants to be social, then you'll need to work around that too, but they have to want to.

Disagree in full with the sentiment that it's a weakness that doesn't improve. You can learn social cues and how to not be awkward. Aspergers is not debilitating. We have no physical limitations preventing us from learning how to cope with society.

It's not like asking a person without legs to walk because a person without legs could never re-grow them. On the other hand, while social behavior doesn't come naturally, it can be learned.

If anyone thinks that Aspergers is debilitating and wholly prevents you from learning to cope or enjoy society, that is frankly depressing.

Some people actually do want to be alone and don't want friends.

DSM-IV-TR states that in good cases one can use a good rote memory to learn certain phrases for specific situations, but that's memory, it's not automatic -- how is that different than someone adapting to no legs with a wheelchair? You're using your intellect to work around something. You can't grow social instinct if it's not there; that's in the brain, and it's physical (you just can't see it).

The DSM-IV-TR also disagrees with you regarding debilitating; it states it's quite disabling and interferes with basic functioning, and you need to be clinically impaired in an important area of life -- that doesn't mean you can't enjoy stuff, it just means you're limited in comparison to age and IQ matched peers. The truth ain't depressing, it's just the truth.

Well- extraverted nt's get forced to be solitary- to study for school or to do their income taxes or learn to play musical instruments, or whatever.

So why shouldnt introverted auties/aspies be forced to be social?

Life sucks -we all have to assume virtues that we have not- by being forced to do things that are out of our comfort zones.

Even the best thing can be corrupted if it is done by force. Therefore, I wouldn't approve of forced socializing, even if it may seem beneficial.

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." - a proverb

I prefer to be invited to socialize....being forced leaves too much chance for the people I am being forced to socialize with not wanting me around anyways. I mean if I turn down a suggestion to socialize there is usually a reason, for instance its people that I don't get along with, makes me uncomfortable or I don't have the energy for it.

For some people being forced to be around others is torture. You can't really force someone to socialize, just to physically be near others. If they can't or won't talk or just don't know how to or can't properly socialize it's not going to happen, plus that is assuming that the others they are being forced to be around even want to socialize with them.

I can't wait for my medical treatments are over so I can stay home and almost never leave the house again. I've had it with all this going out and being around people.

It isn't too late. You seem to think that you have missed the boat on socializing but this just isn't true.

To be honest this discussion is really interesting to me. I am neurotypical (relatively) but have serious social anxiety and was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a child. I don't like going to parties with a lot of people I don't know and find myself stumbling over my words when I am talking to someone I just met. But I have a lot of friends and family and I feel comfortable with them. I can't imagine not having people to talk to about my problems and issues. Where do you turn to if you have a problem?

My cousin basically only hangs out with his parents and grandmother. They aren't going to be around forever though. He has said he doesn't want to meet new people but maybe he just doesn't know what he is missing. But that line of thinking is from my NT mind so I can't fully relate with what he actually wants.

It seems that a lot of NT parents of autistic children want to normalize their kids without thinking if that is the best thing for them. But maybe it isn't? But never pushing someone out of their comfort zone might not be the best for them either, even if that is what they say they want. At some point just sitting around by yourself all day has to become depressing. At least I would think.

I just want what is best for my cousin but I have to straddle a fine line. I think I should push him out of his comfort zone, but I can't push him too hard. I guess we will see what happens.

forced social interaction is the same as forced anxiety attacks.
can't have one without the other.

I would be more for a social education class in leiu of social studies.
teach the children where there shortfalls are and ease them into a routine of social situations.
teach them how to best react to social situations.

Keep in mind I interacted with as few people as possible. Those that interacted with me were bullies.
Good hearted people tend to keep to themselves and not bother others.
They need to be introduced to the good parts of society and bullies should be placed in a special room... far far way in another galaxy......