While it may be true that some people who get a diagnosis may not seem like they fit it I think there are also people who do fit it but aren't diagnosed.
For example, while I wouldn't say I have an ASD definitively without a diagnosis, I do not have a dx, and many people have asked me if I'm autistic, or aspergeric (depending on what mood I was in actually - because when I'm very stressed I stimm like mad, and rock, and lose my voice, so I seem 'low functioning', but if I'm in a situation I'm comfortable in I'll monologue about my special interest until people leave the room.).
My mother has read the diagnostic criteria for both, and I've given her explanations of the different parts of the criteria, shown her video examples of some of the behaviours and professionals talking about them. She is very certain that I fit the criteria for Autism/Aspergers.
Without getting into questions of functioning level, my oddness is not easy to miss. I know two people diagnosed (although only recently, and only because they sought out the diagnosis) who are so obviously on the spectrum I cannot understand how they were not diagnosed in childhood.
I know this is slightly off-topic, but I think the assumption that if someone under the age of 23-ish wasn't diagnosed in childhood, they either don't have it, or have it mildly is rather dangerous.
Because, using the examples of my self and my two friends(ish) who are diagnosed, we all had negative home environments with parents who either didn't have to the time to, or the inclination to get our diagnosis. But that doesn't mean we didn't need them, or couldn't benefit from them.
So, maybe it's somewhere in the middle, some people who needn't be caught by the ASD net our, and some people are missed when they shouldn't be.