Did you act differently after finding out you had an ASD?

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Just curious.

After I realized I may have AS, I didn't feel like myself for like 3 or 4 months. I felt like I was even more aloof than usual, and my anxiety levels were higher than normal. I don't normally have shutdowns or meltdowns too often, but for a while, they were regular occurrences. I'm mostly back to normal now (well, normal for me, anyway)--albeit a little self-conscious at times--with one exception: I don't feel like I'm "channelling" other people as much as I used to.

Definitely. I'd always done weird things, like going dancing on my own, not talking to people and just spending 4 hours on the dancefloor, drinking water, and driving myself home in the end - but I felt bad about it and always tried to be more socially acceptable. After I had accepted for myself that I probably have Aspergers, I just did more of these things that I wanted to do and that made me feel good, without feeling like I have to do something else.

Weirdly, I now have better relationships with people because I don't pretend to be somebody else anymore, and I'm also for the first time in a working environment where I feel totally accepted. Still a little isolated, but I think most people (apart from my boss, who is also German) just attribute my quirks to me being German.

I should mention I'm 42 and have lived most of my life having no inkling of being on the spectrum, but having a son who now is 14 and was diagnosed at 12 has helped me realise, without a doubt.

Yes,

I saw a break down recently in the statistics of people who get a late dx........it was staggering. The report concluded that well over a half of people dx later in life have severe depressive and personality problems.

On reflection this is not rocket science. The accumilative pain in the human psyche after prolonged and humiliating experiences of compromising oneself to a world that can seem so alien and removed from ones natural self.

A dx can give such as individual with AS a very powerful affirmation that they are fine just as they are. It can be quite magical to wake from this trance of unconscious conformity. However, to integrate this natural way of relating to oneself and the world takes time. Self consciousness is something that wanes over time.

These are my experiences.

Hey, what does "channelling" mean?

I think channeling means (I also used do that unconsciously and also don't do it anymore now) when you're talking to somebody, or spending lots of time with them in a work environment etc, you're taking on their mannerisms, their speech patterns etc. Sometimes in a social environment people notice it and think you make fun of them.

I've always used that ability to learn languages. It was funny in Nigeria when I started talking in pidgin English.

Yes! Thank God, I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only one. My whole life I rarely met others like me and never knew there were so many! I've been diagnosed with all the usual ADHD, Manic depression and other pill-selling diagnostic tactics. I'm so intensely happy to know I'm autistic because it means I'm NOT crazy. This forum alone is quickly letting me know I'm not alone and that is priceless. It explains my ENTIRE life, the hand flapping, the head-banging, the staring at the sun, why I couldn't really make friends with most people and more.

Diagnosed at 34. Then I stopped trying so hard.

Yeah, this is exactly what I mean by it.


[Emphasis added]

I remember doing this as a little kid! I'm amazed I didn't damage my eyes.

Last edited by FishStickNick on 06 Jan 2013, 3:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

I do this, but only with mentors or people who teach me things. I do not take on mannerisms of people I do not respect.

I got diagnosed last February, age 39. It was wonderful to finally know what was wrong with me and why things keep happening like they do for me. But it made me sad, too. I have been more withdrawn and keep away from people even more now. And I do seem to be more autistic... or maybe I'm just becoming more aware of all the little strange things I do now.

But the worst thing with knowing I have ASD is wondering if I should even bother setting goals and trying to "make my dreams come true". In fact, I don't even know what my dreams are anymore. When I found out I have ASD and that's why I have had so much trouble in all areas of my life I kind of thought "what's the use..." and forgot about my dreams as I didn't see anyway to make them happen being the way I am (and now know I'll always be). I think I went through, and am still going through, a grief process... a part of me died the day I found out I have ASD. I lost hope.

So yes, I did act differently after finding out. I'm at that "where to from here" stage right now...

This. I haven't been diagnosed, but I realized that there's no point in trying any more because my brain is fundamentally different from the majority. It will never work.

Now I don't feel too bad about behaving the way I do and even if I'm seen as weird, I have a good reason to be different and I don't care if someone doesn't like my way of being. So, I guess I might have gained a certain level of self-confidence, though I'm still a very insecure person.

Even before I found out the existence of such a thing as AS, I knew there must be something in my brain that was making me so fundamentally different from the others. So, learning about AS explained pretty much everything about the difficulties of my life. I find it so liberating. So, for me it's all positive. Hopefully I can start planning my life a bit better from now on.

Nope

Wait, I did actually force myself to be a little more social; that worked about as well as to be expected (ha)

This is so well put.

I've been hard out processing the past for 3 years soon.
I'm not sure where I'll end up but I hope to have my mad inventors
workshop/man cave
The best part for me has been being able to now see NT behaviours in a clear light.
Sometimes [usually when I think of my family] I feel much worse than before knowing
and other times I have a joyful sense of humour about the whole thing

I guess all thats quite normal

I think if I knew earlier my whole life may have been totally different

Ditto - and relate to much of this thread of posts.

I'm not sure if I have an ASD yet, though I reckon I have good reason to suspect it (also, people I've met who've got an ASD themselves have told me, several times, they're sure I have it). I feel like I have more autistic traits now than before I started suspecting ASD myself (though I obviously still had traits before that). Perhaps I'm just more self-conscious nowadays (I've over-analysed myself like crazy the past year). Perhaps I've just stopped pretending to be someone else. Also, I'm more stressed and anxious nowadays which seems to bring out my ASD traits even more. I don't know. Anyway, I've often been afraid I might be "faking" AS. I know I'd never do it on purpose but that fact that I seem more autistic now than a year ago puzzles me. Reading this thread makes me think it might not be that weird after all. What do you think?

you state you
over analysed yourself

I would guess you have stressed yourself
and 12 months is barely time to integrate AS into your future self image
dont stress it and work on being healthy
at this time of
destruction and rebuilding of ego
crisis of ego