Do you find it hard showing your authority?

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Yes it is hard for me showing authority too, as usually its a sign of aggression even though its not necessarily so in the real world. But I do have a real hard job commanding authority as its not in my nature to be that way. It's something I have to work on and try and figure out a happy medium.

YES.

Whenever I am with children or adults with disabilities, I tend to see myself as someone like them rather than someone who has power over them. This has gotten me criticized a lot in terms of when I was employed in with these settings: people have told me to "act less like their friend and more like their worker". I think it's because I have higher empathy for people like with disabilities than most people do: I really resonate with people who are bossed around and I just want to show them that I've been there, and I get it.

I mentor other people on the autism spectrum, and this is the way I treat them as well: not in the sense that I have clear authority over them and view everything they do as wrong, but by supporting them and encouraging them as a peer who understands them.

I feel that a lot of people who work with people with differences/disabilities are in this line of work because I they genuinely enjoy bossing people around. They are very harsh with them and get a sense of satisfaction when they have power over them. While these jobs do involve exercising a bit of authority when the person IS doing something wrong, I feel it is wrong when those with clear power view everything the person does as wrong and even warns the person and anticipates "bad" behavior from them. The kind of message are they sending these people is that the way they are is faulty and should be "fixed". This needs to end. These are human beings! If it were up to me, these people would be fired, no matter how many credentials or pieces of paper they have. /rant

I don't know, I sort of find it to be a flawed concept.

I unfortunately relate a lot to this. I've a hard time expressing any kind of authority, no matter how angry I get. Sometimes it is to the point of abuse. I hate conflict too.

In the workplace, my coworker will systematically bully me, last time was humiliating as she was patronizing me while barely 20yo girl and I'm almost 10 yr older and male. I always wonder "why me"? I thought it was my charisma or credibility or lack thereof, I don't know.

When I enter an argument with someone, no matter how right I am, third party will always gang up against me. There is something called "legitimity" which is different from charisma. Legitimity is the "right" given to you by the social group to be "right" or "wrong". If you are badly placed in the hierarchy of your immediate social group (little brother, newcomer, subordinate, shorter...), you'll be wrong no matter what. Conversely, someone with high legitimity will be given the right by third party ("others") to act like a douche or a bully and get away with it.

I'm given "no" legitimity no matter what, so I'm wrong no matter what. I'm 32yo and still don't know how or why.

I'm better about it than I used to be. As a teacher, I have to be an authority figure all day. The kids usually figure out what they can and can't get away with me. They are usually cooperative because I work hard at making the class a good place for them to be. I know that I'm a pushover most of the time. Some of the rules, like the ones about cell phones, they walk all over me about because they know I don't agree with the draconian rules about cell phone usage, especially now that it's essentially a little computer in their pocket and my school district is in the dark ages when it comes to computers. But most of the rule-breaking I get is passive-aggressive or sneaky. I don't think any of them would dare be outright defiant toward me because they've formed bonds with me in most cases and in other cases they'd get the disapproval of the rest of the class.