Anger response when talking about aspergers?

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How do people around you respond to the idea of aspergers?

I am undiagnosed but my suspicions come up in conversation with family members occasionally. I seem to get incredibly angry responses when I discuss this with them.
I just had a conversation with my sister about how I feel I can relate to aspergers and she said that she doesnt think it applies to me. She later stated that it is incredibly frusterating how I focus on detail rather than look at the larger picture and how I focus too much on the semantics. I asked her if she did that on purpose (since this is a commonly mentioned on sites related to aspergers). She then said that she felt she wasted her time because the conversation had no point. She said I gave 5 examples of the same idea, that she understood the first time and that I am just wasting her time. All of my family seems to respond in this way and I don't know why they get so angry!

Does anyone else get this kind of angry response when talking about aspergers syndrome? Any idea what might be going on in their heads? I don't understand why I'm getting these responses. I can understand boredom if they are uninterested but not anger.

I get a similar response. Just look at my newest thread. I am on the verge of a severe meltdown.

Sometimes they seem to understand, then they're jerks, they don't believe me, yet they point out all my problems. I don't know how to approach it either. I've tried every logical method, but I guess that's the problem. I'm logical, they're not, so I don't know what to do. I'm dragging them to my psychologist though so she can beat some sense into them. They know this and they're calling me a coward and saying I'm taking the easy way out when it's their fault I have to resort to such drastic measures.

I made the mistake of explaining to a couple of freinds that I am in the process of getting diagnosed for Aspergers a little while ago. Although not strictly angry, their reaction made it very clear that they thought I had absolutely no reason to think this and that the whole thing was basically a stupid idea. It was odd - almost like they somehow took it personally or something.

I only became friends with them when I was about 19 at which time I was massively focused on trying to fit in, look more social and hide my weirdness. I suppose I can see why they might doubt it since most of my current traits are fairly well hidden most of the time. Still, I think it taught me a bit of a lesson about maybe keeping this more to myself since I do have a tendancy to want to overshare things like this sometimes (not that I am suggesting for a minute that you should keep this stuff from your sister).

I am really sorry that your family are not being more understanding. I think it is important to find people or just one person who you can feel comfortable talking to about this - even if it is just someone on a forum such as this. I think that many of us who start to suspect AS find it all very confusing and need validation where appropriate rather than flat dismissal. Feel free to pm my anytime if you do feel you need to talk to someone.

Si

I can't say I got an angry response when I first brought it up with my mom, but she raised her voice spoke to me as if I was crazy to even consider the possibility that I might have AS.

Generally speaking, the people who know me well tend to agree with my self-assessment (I don't have an official diagnosis); in fact, one of my siblings figured it out before I even mentioned it. Those who don't know me quite as well think I come across as "too normal" to possibly have it.

No angry responses so far, just shock

With the exception of my youngest brother and his wife, who have 2 children on the spectrum, and an uncle, who has a grandson on the spectrum, plus my attorney, who's wife's family I have known for over 35 years, and always considered me to be family, if not a little strange (they're a very musical family, and most musicians are strange to begin with ) plus the people I share the townhouse with, as well as some people in my church, they pretty much accept me for who I am.

None because I don't tell anyone about it. When I have, no shocking or angry responses. Just "what's aspergers?" I was in high school then. Plus kids knew I was different so they had no reason to not believe it. Plus some of them thought autism when they saw Rain Man and compared me to him which was insulting. Then they asked me if I was autistic.

While this may not be entirely accurate, I have an idea why family, parents in particular, may feel angry when you mention possible Aspergers.

You don't have a VISIBLE disability, and if you are not "normal" it reflects badly on them. They take it personally, and parents often feel as if THEY must have done something wrong if their child is not "normal." I have heard a lot of this in parent support sites, where I never stayed long because I don't agree with that state of mind. I raised three 'special needs' children, each with a different diagnosis. This with diagnosis of ADHD, and clinical depression myself. Now, looking at everything I can find on Aspergers - since my son was re-diagnosed from ADHD to Aspergers, I am beginning to thing my own ADHD diagnosis was also wrong.

Just my two cents.

When I tell people I have Asperger's and ADHD, their reaction is: "I alredy knew. It's not difficult to tell", or "so, that's the reason why you act like that".

If people are getting angry, that's a real shame. I have heard people try and blow it off, like "yeah whatever you're just a bit weird" or "everyone's something nowadays". It's purely because they just haven't actually learnt enough about these things.

It's up to us to be advocates, to show people it's not some phoney diagnosis, but it's also not something completely opposite to a neurotypical person.

I think some may think that you are trying to make an excuse for being the way you are or seeking sympathy. So they respond rather negatively. Although it was not about AS, once my tongue slipped and I mentioned something about my problem. Then the person I was speaking to thought I was seeking attention/sympathy and was very unkind towards me about it. But if it's your family, it might be a different reason.

Maybe a family member would be in denial about such things. Because we always think strange/bad things happen only to other people. Or simply they don't really know what AS is.

When I told one of my best friends that someone suggested that I may have aspergers, his response was completely negative. His first response was "Oh, hell no!" He went on to say that AS is just a fad diagnosis and is waaay over diagnosed.

I've had similar responses as people have mentioned although not angry. My GP was quite happy to refer me for diagnosis last year (still waiting though), but my Pdoc didn't think so as I didn't 'present' like I had it. Others have been nonplussed really and the subject soon gets changed when I try to talk about it with my mum. Some have said 'It's only a label, there's no cure so what's the point in finding out?' etc.

sorry to hear your family were not more helpful. mine were about the same.

they say the 'apple doesn't fall very far from the tree" and people are well aware of this - they don't like the suggestion that the family gene pool may be disturbed.

people seem to be very sensitive about mental health. I'm over it - I've been a mess for a long time and I don't really care who knows.....

you might need to look for answers elsewhere. my psychologist was helpful.......

best of luck

A lot of people think that Asperger's is a "fashion" diagnosis and that it doesn't really exist. And most people don't really understand it. I have to explain ASDs to all of my professors who are working with me on my thesis (which is about autistic identity).

I think the anger response is fairly common. It's like when someone "comes out" with their sexual orientation or gender identity. It's telling people "I'm not who you think I am." They may be very attached to this vision of you that they created for you and don't want to hear about how their construction of you is wrong. Especially if they have a negative idea of what ASDs are. They don't want to re-categorize you as something that they think is negative.

i got diagnosed in march and my grandmother gets extremley angry whenever my dad reminds her