My foreign gf w/ autistic child wants to live in the US?

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First off, I have no idea which section to post this question in...so if I'm in the wrong place...I apologize. My situation is I just left Beijing and returned to live in southern California again because the pollution there is so bad that it was giving me health issues. My Chinese gf, whom I love and whom loves me wants to move to the US because she also is concerned about the bad air that she and her son are breathing in. Her son is not mine for the record. I am fine with taking care of him. It would be good for me to practice being a father to him before I decide to jump directly into having my own child with her. I am not ready for that yet. Onto the problem though. Right now she is having trouble with her ex husband. For her son to even be allowed to leave China, her ex needs to sign some "Evidence of Disability" paper. I am not even sure if what her ex is claiming is true or not. I guess I can have her research this. I don't consider autism to really be a disability myself, but China just recently became aware of autism a few years ago. So I can cut them some slack. Anyway, I am wondering if anyone on here has a foreign wife/gf/relative/friend that is from a foreign country that has an autistic child or is an autistic person? I will do some research on this myself, but I figured I would ask about this on here, being as it is a forum about autism. I'm just wondering if the US might not let her live in the US just because her child has autism or something ret*d like that? I plan to marry her so that she can get her citizenship and green card. My best friend just married his Italian gf from Italy with no issues at all. They are both living happily together in San Diego now. Still my situation is a lot different because my gf is Chinese and has an autistic child. I am depressed that I might only be able to be with her if I am in China and I really don't want to live in China anymore. I was already there for more than 2 years. I hope some people on here can help me out with this...

By the way, I am not only willing to live in California. We are open to living in any state. Just depends on what places we like and seem good for living in. We just need to first find out if it is even possible for them to live here with me at all. I would greatly appreciate help, as it would make my life a lot happier.

They may or may not allow her to immigrate to the US due to the child with autism. It'd be up to those who handle such (if one has a child with autism, they may be more lenient), but the legislation says that they can stop her based purely on the ASD, as it's worded in a way that if someone is potentially unable to be a productive member of society (ASD fits that), then they can bar someone from immigrating.

It's the same in my country too (Oz).

Yeah I had a feeling this would be the case. Well I was thinking that maybe she should just come here with her son without the paper that states he is autistic. I don't think he comes off as autistic when you look at him. His behaviors are not so obvious. I don't think that immigration would look too closely at her son to check for autism before letting them enter the country on tourist visas. Once she is in the US with her son...I would just marry her and go for it. That is what my friend and his foreign gf did and they were alright. Any tips? I would appreciate anyone's help.

They should be let into the US as visitors... once you're married, the kid's disability won't be such a big issue.

(BTW--yes, autism is a disability. It's just that disability is not always severe or obvious, and doesn't mean a person can't be talented or successful. Sometimes people don't understand that, and assume that if you're not obviously and severely disabled, you can't be disabled at all--but of course there are many variations. Mild and/or invisible disabilities can be a real problem despite being less severe, because it is harder to get needed accommodations for them.)

Yeah, I am thinking the same thing. Just have her and her child come in as visitors and then we should have no issues getting married in the US while she is on a tourist visa? Also, she is Chinese and I heard that it it more difficult for Chinese people to become US citizens than other foreigners? Is this true? I worry about her being Chinese and just not even being able to marry her... =(

It'd be harder if she were from Mexico than from China. Some people around here are actually paranoid about people from Mexico "invading" us and stealing our jobs. They're paranoid about China, too, of course, but these are the sorts of people who'll grab at anything that implies they are important enough for others to be out to get them.

It's easiest to immigrate if you have a degree, a useful skill, that sort of thing; if it's going to be easy for you to become employed here. My mom's an occupational therapist, and we came from Germany in 1989. We had no trouble getting into the country. We already had family here--my grandmother and two aunts--though my mother was unmarried at the time. Unfortunately I can't tell you whether my being autistic made any difference, because my mother deliberately refused to get me evaluated when I was little, hoping to avoid "labeling" me (it was a bad decision that hurt me in the end, but that's a different story). I came into the US as a fidgety six-year-old with pedantic speech and a tendency to have meltdowns. I was physically healthy, so there was really not much of an issue. My little sister, who at the time was four and had no illnesses except for asthma, also had no trouble entering the US.

You seem to have the idea that once you marry her she will be eligible for a green card. This is not necessarily the case. That sort of eligibility differs country to country. A friend of mine married a Japanese woman a decade ago and she is still unable to get green card. Long ago the IRS tightened the immigrant/marriage laws so that it is no longer an automatic "in".

Consult an immigration lawyer before bringing her here. If your girlfriend & child enter on a visitor's visa and overstay, it will be almost impossible for you to overcome that violation to get a green card.

PS: Immigration laws are Federal laws, not state to state. The states differ only in how aggressive they are concerning arrest and deportation of those with illegal status, not what constitutes legal status.

Yes I will speak with an immigration lawyer before she comes here and before we marry. My gf's ex husband currently pays half for the educational fees (for autistic schooling) and living fees, but he would stop paying for all this if my gf (his ex) left the county with her son to live with me. I would need to help out with this and I am wondering if there are any free or cheap social programs that we can take her son to that won't cost me a fortune? I want to help take care of the boy, but I am not exactly rich. She is pretty wealthy, but I still agreed to help out at least a little with the living expenses and rent. I appreciate everyone's help so far.

Consider relocating to Indiana. We are the only state in our 5 state area that has a healthy budget surplus. Business is growing, and factories are relocating here. The winters can be harsh at times but aren't really too bad. Living expenses are reasonable.
There are several therapists groups in Indianapolis who specialized in AS and autistic children. There is also a residential academy called Damar that also has autistic children, but is open to other children.

@Danimal - Thanks for the heads up. We will check it out. What other states in the US are good for autistic programs that are reasonably priced?

I'd be more worried about the father than immigration. If it were me and I cared about the kid at all there would be no way hell he would get out of the country.

@Rascal77s - I think the father doesn't care about the child really. He never seems to want to spend time with him even though they have shared custody. He always says he is too busy and only spends time with his son for a half day once a week. Based on what my gf tells me...he seems pretty nonchalant about his own son. Time will tell though.

I see a therapist in Indianapolis who treats adults with Aspergers. Such therapists are difficult to find. My insurance covers the visits, and I have a $`10 copay. Without insurance many therapists are charging $75-$100 per hour. I don't know about the other states. All the states bordering us are larger such as Illinois, Michigan, and Ohio. They may have more more options than Indiana. Kentucky is very rural. I wouldn't even look there.