You Might be an Aspie if...

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You've gone 95 percent deaf but you are partly glad, because it helps you to block out annoying noises better.

Whe you can relate to.....this!! !!

Oh yeah. The tiniest things can leave me just utterly fascinated.

...you think other members of your family also have Aspergers, but who ostracize you for reasons that they still won't explain to you, not because they don't want to hurt your feelings, because they think you don't have any feelings.

In my shrinks office there is a sink(it's a old nursing home),it drips all the time.
I am fascinated by it,how much does it drip an hour,a day,a week........
And why is there a ceiling fan by the door,what a stupid place,but why??????
And why is there one green chair and the rest are brown,why one????????
No one knows,I asked.

You kind of wish the bus companies would let the public know online that their bus services are ''safe'' or not and are not liable to stop or change companies, etc, so that you can relax about it rather than a day coming where it suddenly has changed with all new drivers on what you've got no choice but to get used to.

when you've watched each of the Lord of The Rings movies more than 10 times
when making eye contact is extremely hard
when flirting seems like nuclear science, how can I even flirt when I can't even bring myself to look at other people's faces, even when I know they can't see me
when you need an extreme amount of effort to keep yourself from staring at the ground
when relationships aren't appealing to you almost at all
when you had to put an extreme amount of effort to comprehend basic rules of social interaction
when you have extreme difficulties expressing your thoughts

You know you're an aspie when this happens 4 times within 20 minutes.

You know you are an Aspie when....

When your family knows what you are having for dinner by which restaurant they decide to go to.

When the waiter takes everyone's order except yours - and you still get wanted to eat.

When a restaurant manager admits that they keep a couple of Halibut stakes (or what ever it is) in the freezer just so you can have your favorite seasonal dish even out of season.

... When you reluctantly join a group of managers and co-workers (I only joined because I was told I needed to show initiative if I wanted to get a promotion.) trying to raise money for charity but you end up quitting after the first meeting because they didn't understand your idea of cost analysis...

In their defence, I started talking to them like they were in a middle school math class after about 30 seconds of blank stares... all I needed was a chalk board full of X's and Y's for it to be complete.

...when bullies from your childhood come back to continue and bully you.

...in spite of your best efforts to stay focused, you've forgotten the name of the person you're shaking hands with at the moment, nor do you have any idea which of the several people in the vicinity you shook hands with 20 seconds earlier. Of course you didn't look at the face, but you ponder briefly whether you remember the sleeve, since you're sure you looked at the hand in order to reach for it. Glancing surreptitiously at local arms and sleeves (but being careful nobody sees you; it would be bad if some girl thought you were checking her out -- and even worse if some boy thought you were checking him out), you're thinking you could probably recall the sleeve, if only you had a moment of serenity. But right now everything is too busy. The puzzle is far too complicated and you know you'll never figure it out in time to do any good; just let it go. You have enough control not to panic over your lapse; instead you firmly resolve to make a fresh start and pay attention as of this moment, hoping some context will be introduced that will give you a basis of comprehending whatever is going on. You listen carefully for about 30 seconds, but you're flailing to avoid awkward eye contact. A few moments later you realize you've been staring at a light fixture, counting the bulbs and calculating the total wattage and lumens emitted, and thinking about how it might be better placed so as to distribute illumination more equitably while at the same time reducing energy consumption. That's something the host needs to know, and you're the one to tell him. For a brief moment you think you've found something to talk to people about, but then you realize you'd better keep your mouth shut. You snap out of it and find yourself shaking yet another mysterious hand, and the cycle begins anew.