Being told "you'll never change"

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The one line (among a few) that I really hate getting, and have gotten on a handful of occasions, is "You'll never change".
Despite all the progress I've made, and that many of Aspies have made as a collective, it still doesn't seem "good enough". Like their goal is to "cure" or "convert" us to the mainstream and if we show even a trace of deviation, then we're not going to change.

Well, on a fundamental level, it is true that our "Aspie program" will not change, but our coping mechanisms and strategies can, and must be practiced regularly to become more natural or as natural as possible w/o getting stressed out. So that to me is a change of attitude and a change of approach, even if it doesn't change our fundamental program. However, I sense that many NTs won't see it that way, or they will see us as over-complicating things, which sucks.

Also part of this comment may be based on our lack of intuitive ability to be able to abstract applied rules of conduct from one context or setting to a similar context or setting. We do it well in one setting, but in another, fall short of expectations that "it was obvious if you did A in X situation, you should also do A in Y situation. You'll never change, you never learn."

So, definitely a comment that I find insulting and trivializing. To me, the kind of people that will never change are hardened criminals on parole, drug addicts, and adult bullies in the workplace. I don't put myself into that kind of "don't change" category. And neither should any other person with Aspergers.

Whose saying you'll never change ....in what context? Is it an insult? are they blowing you off?

I take issue with this. True, criminals are usually repeat offenders, and lots of addicts relapse. It just doesn't seem very fair to paint them all with the same broad brush. You feel bad when others tell you that you can't change. Do you think that this makes those you put in that category feel any better? It seems a bit hypocritical/arrogant.

This is similar to the line other people use about me--"that's just the way Mercutio is..." There's a connotation of judgement involved, as if I should "be some other way."

Just ignore them, they're probably wrong anyway. If you do want to change enough you will and you'll prove them wrong in the process (though this can take time).

Yeah, and sometimes those people covertly don't want you to change. They'll engage in petty sabotage and manipulation tactics to convince you that you're soooo error-prone and that nothing could fix you. Avoid or ignore, that's the best approach

Damn right I won't!

My response to that would be....'neither will you'.

Nobody tells me that anymore, although the last time that happened was when I ran into an old teacher at a job fair. She and I talked briefly, then another old teacher, who most certainly could fall into the "never change" category because he was a cold, calculating d**k, even in this situation, came up to me and asked me, "Why are you talking to her for?"

I tried explaining myself as best as I could, but the cold, calculating a-hole said to me, "You haven't changed one bit ever since you graduated." Oh, was I pissed!

I wanted to physically assault him on the spot, but both teachers were with their students, so I didn't want to traumatize their students. I turned around and walked away.