Do you have problems interacting with children?

Page 3 of 3 [ 42 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

biologic
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 20
Location: Sweden

17 Feb 2013, 4:56 pm

I have huge problems. I just don't know what to talk to them about, so I usually just stand there, very quitely. My main problem is that I have no idea what topics they might be interested in. Or how bright they are, if they might understand me - I tend to talk to them almost as if they were adults...

There is one exception: My nephew. He's soon to be 4 years old, and show many signs of both AS and ADHD... (my brother has diagnosed AS + ADD, I have diagnosed AS with ADD-symptoms, the mother of my nephew is probably NT with possible ADD-symptoms).

Anyhow, my nephew is what you would call a "gifted" child (so was my brother and I), so you can talk to him on a whole other level than what's expected of a four year old child. Furthermore, he's experiencing difficulties that both me and my brother recognize, so we can comfort him just by sharing our own childhood experiences, and tips on how to get around the problems. I also don't have any problems playing with him, as his imagination constantly runs wild and my ADHD starts to catch up with him...



Keni
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2013
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 408
Location: Australia

17 Feb 2013, 11:43 pm

I never talked baby talk to my kids and stepkids, I figured if they were going to learn two languages one might as well be Japanese or something useful. (Which they did learn from school not me)
I was no good at pretend play as I didn't really do it myself as a kid.

But we had mudsliding in thunderstorms and reading stories, swimming and fishing and making squidgy sand pies.
We camped out and toasted marshmallows, climbed the highest trees and went on the scariest rides.
We went to rock festivals and built cubby houses and made weird cakes with jelly snake worms in.

They are all successful adults now and my parenting didn't seem to do them any harm.



Pileo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 523

18 Feb 2013, 12:00 am

I usually treat them like little adults. No silly voices or being deceitful to them. If they ask about something, I'll give them an honest answer. I don't put up with yelling, screaming, whining or crying (unless they got hurt). Kids learn fairly quickly they'll have a hard time manipulating me.

I usually start having problems with them socially when they get to about pre-teens.



mikassyna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,319
Location: New York, NY

18 Feb 2013, 12:23 am

I have a hard time interacting with my own children. I have had to watch other parents and teachers to learn how to have fun with them and how to speak with them. I am really no good at the make-believe stuff. I do my best though because I know my kids need to learn it from me. It drains me mentally and I can only do so much of it before I feel like my brain is going to crack. My son is getting better at it too, but I have a hard time following him because much of what he does doesn't always follow logic and I have to ad lib which is really hard for me. If I can plan it out beforehand I can just about make it work, but when the direction/narrative gets changed (which is often), I'm stumped. For the most part, I think I manage, but just.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

18 Feb 2013, 9:15 pm

I don't in the least bit, quite the opposite actually. That's a big part of why I'm Godfather to 3 different kids :), plus I get along well with all of the other younger ones in the extended family/friends kids etc. I also get along with boomers/seniors, too, but have the very aspie trait of never really fitting in with my own age/peer group very well. I do still have several friends around my age, but not all that many and definitely didn't throughout high school years. (Which all makes so much sense to me now that I've learned all about my aspie traits.)



LittleTigger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 814

19 Feb 2013, 8:36 am

Every day is Halloween!! ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! !!


_________________
A Boy And His Cat

When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.


b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

19 Feb 2013, 9:41 am

LittleTigger wrote:
Every day is Halloween!! ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! !!



you seem to pretend that you are like a little child, but on occasions you reveal that you have a sinister side to your personality,

it is very confusing to me. i do not have any ideas that you are a pedophile, but i do think that your thought processes are rather unhealthy. you most often make posts that are quite difficult to believe that come from the mind of a 30 year old, and i relegated you to the realm of LFA in my mind, but now i consider your posts to be more intelligent, and i have grave concerns as to how your mind really is,. i think that after all this time, the sod of soil you were contained in has finally been unearthed and exposed to the light of day.

your earlier post in this thread is very creepy and you did not indicate that you were not serious and you expected all of us to believe without question that you have the mind of a five year old, but your responses to the posts that ask you to validate yourself reveal that you are not really the low functioning childlike person that you wanted us to believe.

whatever, i will not go any further, but i am sure you may be able to prognose where my attitude to you has headed.

if you are innocent of what me and the benny hill fellow from NZ think , then please state your case. i do not want to think ill of you.



aussiebloke
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,407

20 Feb 2013, 7:53 am

b9 wrote:
interacting with children is seriously dangerous. to speak to a little kid automatically makes their parents scope you out for possible pedophillic tendencies, and once that happens, one has a serious amount of explaining to do. people will convict you on mere suspicion.. i have never had that happen to me but i have seen it happen to another person i knew

i never talk to children because their parents always worry about the motives behind unmarried adult males talking to their kids. people are hysterical about it and it is absolutely mandatory in my mind to have nothing to do with children.. i avoid children like the plague, and even if one came to me to for help i ,,,,,, well maybe i would listen and take them straight home or to the closest police station if they stated they were in danger, but i would not involve myself with them any more than that.

the world is beserk with paranoia.
i keep well away from them.


smart


_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob


Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

20 Feb 2013, 6:46 pm

Pileo wrote:
I usually treat them like little adults. No silly voices or being deceitful to them. If they ask about something, I'll give them an honest answer..

I don't do silly voices either. I disliked it when I was little, and I wouldn't wanna do that myself.

mikassyna wrote:
I have a hard time interacting with my own children.

That is one (of many) fears I have regarding having children; that I simply wouldn't be able to connect with them, communicate with them, clearly show them emotional warmth.



Maybe I'm missing something, but I didn't find Little Tigger's first post in this thread creepy. He just comes off as someone who is still a little boy on the inside. I can relate because I feel like I'm 15-20 years younger than I am, which would make somewhere between 15 and 20 years old (inside). I think his neighbor sounds pretty rude though with those comments of hers.
I know people are very aware and afraid of bad people hurting children, as they should be, but I don't see anything wrong with playing with them. It was with the mother's blessing and everything...


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


whalewatcher
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 79

20 Feb 2013, 7:35 pm

I never got along with children, although for some reason I always wanted my own. When ours were born I connected with them immediately, and my relationship with them has been the best thing in my life, by far.

However, they are now nearly teenagers and are starting to find me a bit tiresome in various ways. I don't think that's got much to do with my Aspergers, it's just the way of things. They definitely aren't autistic, and don't know about my AS.