Going to ADHD group when you can't find an aspie meetup

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know how relevant this is but I started attending local CHADD meetings since I haven't been able to find a steady aspie meetup. I've lived most of my life as identifying with ADHD and many of my quirks appear to outsiders as part of the ADHD (which incidentally makes me the de facto "ADHD expert" in some circles).

So far I'm finding it a decent alternative to finding other local aspies; as I sat in the Adult group it was a familiar story on both sides of the line between ADHD and the spectrum. At times I found myself replacing the word ADHD with AS and it was the same thing as being on WP. The only difference I could see was that with ADHD, by one's mid-late 30s, they should have their lives together or at least suitably rebuilt, and I saw a couple of guys who were nearing 50 and really suffering despite all the compensatory skills they mastered. Sounds like aspiedom there

Anyway, has anyone ever given thought to attending an ADHD meeting instead when an AS group can't be found? A lot of symptoms are interchangeable and they call normies "neurotypicals" there too. It's been helping me somewhat, although here they hold the meetings at a time where everybody wants to go straight home afterward. Maybe I'm just complaining since I tend to be a bit more social than average

In a nutshell: A theory exists that ADHD is tendency to switch back and forth between autistic computer mode and social mode. However, the autism is more dominant. In ADD, the switching still takes place. However, the computer thought is more normatively balanced with social thought.

This is my opinion about ADHD: http://manyperceptions.org/what-is-so-bad-about-adhd/

What is so bad about ADHD?

February 20, 2013

I have two choices when chatting with a child who demonstrates Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). First, I may choose to feel upset when my young friend jumps from topic to topic. Second, I may choose to enjoy the rush of jumping around from idea to idea.

The first choice to feel upset reminds me of my kindergarten years. I did not always like to play with girls because they preferred to play dolls while I preferred to play cars and trucks. I recall my mom saying that we could do a little of both or not play together at all. Although I played dolls, my heart was not into it due the complex rules of playing dolls. The little girl probably did not appreciate the free form zooming around with cars and trucks.

The second choice to enjoy the rush represents a more mature option. Little boys and little girls inevitably grow up and usually choose to get married. Thus, my wife must periodically suffer through my gentleman talk while I periodically suffer through her lady talk. My wife gets worked up about the Michael Jackson funeral while I get worked up about astronomy. In the big picture of things, Michael Jackson and astronomy are not as important changing as taking out the trash or changing a dirty diaper. My he-man style of changing a diaper grosses my wife out. Likewise, her she-lady style of taking out a half bag of trash because it “smells” drives me crazy.

Us adults revert infantile behavior when we get stressed out about a little girl or little boy who demonstrates strong ADHD perception. We adults wrongly insist that we are correct and that the child is disordered. I believe that ADHD exists for a reason. In particular, we need people who have the ability to rapidly change from one topic of thought to another. For example, these types of people often make great classroom teachers for young elementary school kids. They also know how to convert a boring meeting at work into a more tolerable experience.

I explicitly reject the notion that ADHD is random evolutionary fluke of nature. ADHD does not represent a chaotic mutation of genetic material in an evolutionary random walk from chaotic disorder to order. Instead, ADHD is a valuable characteristic that exists in all of us. We must learn to understand and appreciate ADHD because we are all at least a little ADHD. Moreover, to reject ADHD as part of the natural human condition dehumanizes all of us. Just like the masculine self and the feminine self must accept and embrace each other in marriage, the singular slow focused mind must accept and embrace the rapidly refocused ADHD mind.

We need many perceptions to more fully comprehend the singular reality.

Both ADHD and autism affect executive function, attention and social interaction.

Sometimes, the mechanism can be different and the effect be the same - for example, both shifting attention too quickly (more typical of ADHD) and shifting too slowly (more typical of autism) can cause you to be inattentive to things you should be attending to.

In ADHD, typically, the social impact is secondary to the attention and executive function issues, whereas AS have social issues that are not explained by attention and executive function.

ADHD-style attention issues are usually distractibility, though they can hyperfocus at times. AS people can have ADHD style attention issues, or they can be predominantly or always hyperfocusing.

In terms of executive function, ADHD primarily affects inhibition, with milder impact on other executive functions. All ADHDers have at least some degree of executive dysfunction. In contrast, AS people can have normal executive function, but on average AS people show significant impairment on pretty much all aspects of executive function.

So, anyway, the two overlap a lot.

I have ADHD and there are many overlaps, I would think going in with a realistic perspective of what you can come out with it would be very positive. If you're looking for ND social butterflies you are probably in a good place. Adult ADHD is hard and does effect "adult expectations" when NTs are involved so there is that similarity alone.