Are you lonely?

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Why?

Well, no. Even though I don't go out except for going to classes. I have a few very close friends but I get to see them for only 3 months a year since I study 200 miles away. I'm in a dorm and I actually prefer to be left alone. I don't feel lonely, I don't think I ever did really. Sometimes, for a minute or two, I do think how holding someone in my arms would be nice, but that feeling fades pretty quickly. Thus, I don't even understand why people go out or pursue sex and relationships.

Yes it does. My extroverted mom is always yapping about how I should go out and whatnot, I'm sick of it, I want her to understand why I don't go out and don't pursue girls. But if I mentioned asperger's she'd just say I'm justifying myself and that I always yammer about scientific stuff.

Because there is more to life than four walls and a door.



You may or may not have Asperger's. When you are younger its fines if you spend your time focusing on education however it will be your social skills that truly help you in life. You can be a master of your craft but with poor social skills it can literally ruin you potential achievements. In my case I will be 30 this year and while I want to continue my education, I also want to enjoy relationships. This thing about some people not liking sex is kinda weird to me. I typically wonder if people who profess to not wanting relationships and sex are spending there time masturbating (no pun intended). When guys spend an immense amount of time doing this, there interest in women will linger; it also makes them more introverted.

Yeah, I'm ruining my life because of my very poor social skills and feeling lonely most of the time. I'm a uni graduate but getting nowhere, because you need to be able to build good relationships with people around you to help your career advancement etc though it's not impossible to have a good career without them. Of course that's not the only reason for building a good relationship with people. Being a complete loner works against you in many ways. The worst of all is the quality of life if you are a kind of person who doesn't want to be lonely. I have pretty much adapted to my loneliness now that I know I would never be able to fit in anywhere, but I have to say my quality of life is very low in that sense, not just because of being an underachiever.

Having said that, if I had known long time ago that I would never fit in with others because of AS, I wouldn't have wasted so much time and energy trying hard to fit in and wondering why I always got rejected. Instead I could've used that time more productively such as for hobbies and further study etc.

Asperger's or not, I'm aware of the importance of social skills, I can hold my own but I truly can't read social cues, I don't know how to flirt or read body language. I'm good with facial expressions but since I can't look people in the eye, I rarely look at their faces for long enough to notice anything. I don't have the need to socialize, to be around people. I know that a charming extrovert will get a job instead of me even though s/he is completely incompetent and it frustrates me a lot, but I can't fake social skill, lots of times I even have trouble expressing my own thoughts and I'm scared of phoning people I don't know. Dealing with administrative things is awful since I have to communicate with clerks and ask questions. Even when I do put on a show I feel so terribly uncomfortable. So, yeah, it's very hard for me because all of the above causes me to have no self esteem since I'm practically useless outside of my intellect.

I don't ''enjoy'' relationships, I like joking with my friends. I see relationships as unpredictable, dramatic, problem, stress and early death causing things. I don't want to worry whether a woman or a child is happy, well fed, clothed, entertained, etc. I've never been very interested in women. I spent my teenage days playing video games, I had no urge to chase girls and I don't have it know. No woman can turn me on that much that I will actively try to have sex with her. Plus, I'm scared to death of getting a girl pregnant.

I said no because I very rarely feel lonely. The internet and my family more than meet any need for interaction I have. Far more often, I feel the opposite: stressed from being around people too much. Just going to the grocery store exhausts me. I have a couple of friends (I think - I have a couple of people who occasionally seem to want to hang out with me) but spending a few hours with them in person is something that takes days to recover from.

Well, being around people at uni is exhausting enough. Besides that I see my boyfriend one or two nights/afternoons a week. I have a couple of friends but I see them once a month or so. Better than nothing, right? I need and want to be by myself a lot. Wouldn't survive in this world otherwise.



My parents are the same. Though they're not really extroverted. They say they worry about me being too isolated.

I am the same way but its something you have to work through. I worked very hard to be social around others. Received signals from girls and guys but honestly I had a hard time figuring out what to do next. Work was always exhausting; especially working with only women. Still all in all spending every waking moment alone is rough. I started treatment and I look forward to see where it takes me.

i also think it won't be fair for me to be with a guy because of the same reason and it would probably cause me to worry too. but it doesnt bother me anymore, because i realized i'm better off alone.

Sure there is, infact Stevie Wonder even made a song about it called "Part Time Lover"; all jokes aside the idea of always being alone is just way too sad and empty. I think their are people who will be able to accept us for what we are. We just need to keep trying; many aspies have overcome this.

From general NT observations, a lot of people say that I am lonely, but I don't feel that way; I thrive in my solitude- this is my happiest and most relaxed state.

I live by myself and have 5 dogs (which I find kind and considerate companions). I will sometimes realize that it has been months since I have received a personal phone call or else it has been days since I have seen someone. It really doesn't bother me although it seems to bother other people - go figure.

Occasionally, I do have several friends who I keep in contact with and meet, but if I don't for some time due to me or them being busy I might feel lonely. It's usually only temporary though.

From Topsy Turvey: The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.

I need a dog I'm feeling very let down right now about people.