Living Abroad (as a Coping Mechanism)

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From a social perspective school is much better here for my daughter (16) but from an academic perspective it's a nightmare. As you say, there is no provision for anything outside of the norm. Back in the UK she was in the National Academy of Gifted Children and had all sorts of extras to help her reach her potential. Here, average is good enough. Also there is no academic disapline. It's her choice whether or not she wants to do any work and of course she always chooses "not". And if she turns up late, that's fine and if she doesn't want to take part in something that's fine too and if she doesn't do any homework, that's ok, it's up to her

Also, I don't know where abouts in Scandanavia you are, but here in Sweden healthcare is not free. I have to pay a small amount to see a doctor. I have to pay the full amount to see a dentist or optician. I have to pay the full cost of medicines, upto a certain amount for some and always for others. I have to pay to stay in hospital. And I have to pay if I need an ambulance.

Haha! That's right! I've personally never bought a chu-hi from the vend or anything. I have a Family Mart literally right outside of my apt. The only thing I don't like about it is how bright those damn fluorescent lights are. They don't seem to affect my friends but I always have to squint whenever I go in.

I'm a girl myself and the Japanese girls I know like me. But then I'm probably just amusing for them because I am very loud, randomly say hello to strangers on the street and talk about personal things I shouldn't

Went to Greece as a 6th grader. Did grad school in UK. Never had cuulture shock except in my homeland. I woyulkd be there still but for circumstances that we will not discuss.

The BIG advantage for me was - in Greece, Kenya, UK, Albania - NOBODY excprects me to look, think, act, talk like a native. In the US and Canada they hear my accent and think I SHOULD walk and talk like a native - and I can't.

Oh my god, this^.

That is really funny cuz I never felt culture shock in Japan either. I've had my moments of anger but that was mainly due to people being indirect here.

Todesking--as I tried to intimate above, not really. The ones I knew who spoke English mostly didn't seem to catch on that anything was different, and the ones I knew who didn't tended to attribute anything that seemed strange to cultural differences or linguistic difficulties, which is understandable (not to go into too much detail, but it's a language that allows you to make lots of subtle gradations of politeness but not much in terms of gradations of sequencing, so it's sort of inevitable that there will be misunderstandings).

The part in Tony Attwood's book talking about living abroad really struck a chord with me as well (as did about 85% of the book as a whole). I lived in Germany for several years and was the happiest I've ever been. Now, I'm stateside again and really want to move abroad again. I'm currently learning Norwegian as to hopefully move to Norway. My family emigrated from there nearly a century ago so I feel a bit of kinship with the country and my hope is that any awkwardness might be attributed to my "Amercian-ess." Funny enough, when I told my mother about AS after my counselor initially brought it up, my mom said that that was just the Norwegian coming out in me but now that she's educated herself more about it, she suspects her father had it as well. Has anyone here ever heard of any statistics correlating a preponderance of AS in Scandinavian races?

i lived in england any friends i had were mostly south african / australian - i felt more comfortable with them than irish/english people. i dated foreigners and married one, but it didnt work out. i didnt live in a foreign country but i surrounded myself by other cultures

Spent a month in Sweden last year staying the Darlarna county in the Borlange area. I have to agree that there is certainly a very asperger like quality to the people over there. I had the opportunity to go over there from a work colleagues parents who had a summer house that hadn't been used in awhile in exchange for bringing along a load of cheap vodka from the uk. They introduced us to a lot of the local tradesmen and people in the area who were engaged in preserving old crafts local to that particular area of sweden.

Some of the characters I met were just so obsessed with their particular field of expertise that I just couldn't help but see Aspergers written all over them. Some of the culture, heritage and history that was presevered was fascinating. Building viking longboats, forging, blacksmiths, knife crafting, restoring old motorbikes/cars from the early 20th century. Old timber houses with relics from the 17th century still inside them.

I would of expected it from some kind of tourist trap area (like York in the UK) but this was just your average little village out in the sticks hardly a place tourists from outside sweden would flock too.



I think I would feel the same way moving to the more rural locations of Sweden. Being from the Greater London area I would probably miss the kind of opportunities and cosmopolitan atmosphere of a city like London in some corner of sweden. Even Stockholm felt like a very laid back city in comparison to other capital's i've been too in europe, despite seeing some wannabe gangsters having a fight in the city centre one night (swedish spoken in anger sounds funny) I kinda made this mistake recently spending the last year living in a small town in the peak district. Returning to a city like London has made me realise I wasn't really happy living somewhere like that.

On the otherhand being an outdoors person the place has a much more liberal attitude towards right to roam access. With so many forests and lakes becoming more spare of human habitation the further north you travel its basically the closest you can probably get to wilderness within easy reach of the UK. If you go next door to Norway they have some bizzare population distribution were peoples houses are all over the plae so you never really have big vast expanses of empty land unless you start going north of Trondheim. The landscape has huge appeal for me. You can also forage so many edible mushrooms and fauna from the forests that make a typical english forest look utterly sterile in comparison.

Things I'd like to take back from sweden to the UK are....

A) Sushi buffets (Cheap sushi big plus for me! Need these in the UK)
B) Rye bread, proper overload of fibre
C) Herring and Dill (i think they put crack in it, far too addictive, just doesnt taste the same what you buy in the UK)

i'm from Sweden and I too feel this a lot! Nice getting it explained like this! It has happened a lot to me ppl approach me here in Sw and talk English .. ?? I clearly look like I don't belong! (i look swedish enough, physically i guess) .. i've lived with my GF in the US for exactly one year by now .. and do feel that thing a lot, still. feel it much more relaxed around social things because i'm not supposed to know anyway .. such a relief!!

i think i can see why others may feel Sweden or Scandinavia is aspie-like. well, to me it isn't ... i feel very outside everything and i always did .. so i think that feeling of missing the sense of belonging others seem to share is universal ..

I lived in Paris for a long time. It's hard to adapt to French culture and the French do tend to be stand-offish with those who don't. However, once you've made the effort to meet them halfway they are incredibly supportive and helpful (yes, speaking French helps a lot, just think how hard it is for you to fully accept a foreigner living in an English speaking nation without any English; heck, England's about to require an English language test for immigrants).

There tend to be more idiots in Paris than elsewhere in France, but the French would be the first to admit that.

I work in IT and my company has offices around the world, so the opportunity to work in one of the foreign offices is there. It is just a matter of trying to convince my gf to go and then deciding what to do about our dogs and our house. I guess those ties are what are keeping me here.

I've been interested in this. In college, I'd get along with the foreign students more so than everyone else.

Very interesting posts. Glad I heard about this website.

After I graduate I want to get a job as an English teacher in South Korea. When I get to south Korea I'm thinking of starting a blog to give everyone else with AS tips on TEFL. For now, Im worried about living alone, shopping on noisy streets and being accepted despite not often having a clue what others are getting on about. But Im hoping that the extra privacy will give me time to focus on my interests (in Canada I'm packed in a home with 3 other family members who are always competing for sound space, and I never feel relaxed or focused). Plus Korean culture seems to have a lot of history that people are keeping alive and I want to experience that richness, that is very much lacking in life in Toronto. I hear that they recommend not teaching large classes if you have AS due to sensory overload, but Im going to challenge that by meditating on acceptance of stimuli and always reminding myself to think about my students perspective. I think after some getting used to it, I can become a good EFL teacher.

I have some experience living abroad. I lived in a small city south of Brussels for a year and a half with an ex, and commuted to school in Brussels every weekday. The culture had a lot of pros above Canadian culture. People seemed a lot more interested in their hobbies, which ranged from music to sports to board games, to computer programs. There are also set ways to do things, the order of eating food, of drinking, and even what types of dish towels to use.

On the otherhand, I felt frustrated most of the time feeling obliged to put up a face. But that happens everywhere. Also, the weather was appalling and getting vitamin D was a problem for someone with Indian roots. Lack of sun alone was enough after a few months to want to return to Canada. It gets cloudy here but nothing near to Belgium's chronic grayness. Plus the lack of diversity in Belgium made it hard to tell people apart on the streets and I was glad to come back to Toronto and see all kinds of faces.

I expect Sourh Korea to be better mostly because I'll be working and not studying! Can't wait to have some money to travel to Buddhist temples and roam around the country.

Guilty as charged here too...