How many self-diagnosed Aspies actually have it?

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I'm sure there are some self diagnosed aspies who are only looking for an excuse to act a certain way, but I'm not one of them. And I'd prefer not to be automatically grouped with these individuals by people who don't even know me. For many of us, this has been a lifelong journey of self discovery. It's not like we woke up one day and went "I think I'm going to be an aspie from now on, that would be so cool!" No. We did our own research and came to a logical conclusion.

I'd love to get a formal diagnosis someday so that my stay here feels more "legitimate", but unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. My family and I are too busy struggling to pay the mortgage each month so that we don't lose our house; we don't even have heat this winter. Things are a bit tough for us financially right now.

Finding out that I might be an aspie has been a therapeutic experience so far, but aside from that, I can't see how this revelation benefits me at all. The few real life friends that I have are all NTs, and most of them would just make fun of me if I ever told them. I can hear the "When are you gonna shoot up a school" jokes now.

It's just another part of myself that I'm forced to hide.

I am in no doubt that I am AS, but have been refused a diagnosis by several psychologists and psychiatrists, on the most spurious of grounds. However, when I went to the National Autistic Society (UK) for an autism alert card they gave me one without even bothering to look at my psychologist's report! Was it that obvious?

Heh, ditto. I see no reason to go get diagnosed. It'll cost time and money, with no tangible benefits (and likely stigmatize me if anyone finds out). My partner (who is at least as certain as I am about it, once it was pointed out) is the only one I've told. I work my ass off to act "normal," it's frequently exhausting but better than having work and personal lives be wrecked by being found out as autistic.

Understanding what I am helps me deal with some of the more challenging parts of life, which is great. But an expensive piece of paper? What's the point?

I would like to know the answer to this question. I suspect a lot less people have it than claim they do.

One thing that rarely gets mentioned is that I've met a diagnosed Aspie and about 10 suspected Aspies and the one I have the most doubts about is the one that is diagnosed (seems to have something completely different). Considering as a child my pediatrician said in his report I am a "class clown" when I was practically mute (and everyone knew it) should tell you what some experts know. Not to sound arrogant but I know more about ASDs than any doctor I've visited and have had to teach them on every occasion, even how to pronounce Aspergers. A piece of paper does not make a infallible expert and in many cases experts are dead wrong. I'm not conspiracy nut but doctors in my experience seem to be ignorant of anything not involving drugs.

I'm not aware of anyone who proclaims to be Aspergers and is clearly faking it. Why would you want to do that when nobody knows what AS is other than ridiculous stereotypes? I know I'm an Aspie because I read a detailed academic paper on AS tendencies and it was like reading my private autobiography. The year I've spent at WP and the immense help I have received only further reinforce that strong belief. Believe me, I was OBSESSED with learning about Aspergers and I can't possibly deny I have it unless I have HFA which is basically the same thing.

I was 100% sure I was on the spectrum but I asked many, many people who knew Autistic children and all said I had all the traits and meet all the criteria except I have a job...... sigh.

It is NOT about benefits of privileges at ALL!

It is about getting an understanding and acceptance of how I am: (what I mean)

- Understanding: learning about myself and being able to help people I know understand why I am the way I am, and why I do the things I do.
(why I can't help picking scabs, why sometimes I don't get what your saying, when I am put in a situation and I feel uncomfortable that I withdraw into my own world, sometimes we may not understand each other because I will say something that comes across as something else and when you say something I might take it way too literally or take it in the wrong way, when your sad and I don't make you feel better it's because unless you say "I'm sad" that I am not going to know and not that I don't care, etc.)

Acceptance: me learning how to deal with things differently to be more normal, and you understanding how to act or put things so I understand and we can get along better.
(it's like that fact that my mother's favorite fruit is bananas, and I am allergic to bananas; it is like she is yelling at me "GET OVER IT! STOP being allergic to bananas!!"... it is something that I just cannot do. Or, it is like trying to mix water and oil, it isn't going to happen, and you are going to waste a lot of time and get very mad at something that just can't...)

I can't make an accurate judgement because you'll never really know. But I'm always less trusting of self-diagnosis (in any condition) because I think it'll always be less accurate.

well, it's not just phone anxiety, it is like that everywhere.. (according to testing I have "level 9" anxiety; I never thought it was that bad, but also I have gotten used to it from about the beginning of 1st grade)

As for horses:

I don't feel overwhelmed when riding, riding is my "happy place". it is simple and relaxing to some degree (I do gaming, my horses are very forward and sometimes hard to keep still).

BUT, when I compete I make myself sick... Everyone is judging me and my horse, I hate it. the judges are critisizing every move, other riders are judging, so are their parents, friends, the audience... For me getting too nervous to just talk infront of 3+ people and going into a position where upwards of 500-1500+ people are there freaks me out, but the only thing that makes me okay is the fact of how relaxed I know I am at home with my horses. and the joy of adding another ribbon, medal, belt buckle, or trophy to my collection!!
- I put myself in a hard spot here... My "special interest" is my horses. My collection, which has a need/want like no other thing, is my awards, which obviously you have to compete to get...

Other than that, my horses are my happy place, we connect on a very special level. Sometimes though in a new situation (they connect/listen so well) that when I become anxious or upset they become uncomfortable and start acting very odd as well.

(with me my horses are very sensitive to the rider, if you think canter, they canter. if you think about stopping, they stop. if you look where you want to go, they will go without any rein/leg cue. however, if I let other people ride they wont do that for them...)

For the record, you don't "get a piece of paper" like an *Asperger's Diploma* when you get diagnosed. All you do is get a psychiatrist's bill that has a diagnosis code on it that you submit to your insurance company. The feeling, however, that is associated with the diagnosis could be profound in helping one truly understand the basis of all the different struggles one has endured--and may continue to endure--in their life. End of story.

My aunt is a psychiatrist. When i was a child she would fly in and visit us, she would tease me and jokingly say you may be autistic. She annoyed me. She was a loud and pushy woman, generous with money, would buy us presents, but i still found her annoying, trying to buy my affection?! Her brother, my dad, would tease me and say you are a reclusive nerd, you are a little rain man. Stop reading books all day and leave your room. Lift weights, you look skinny and gay, you have no friends, you do nothing all day... Well I never became close with my fathers side of the family. I grew to distrust psychiatrists and the standard medical profession in general. Anyway i feel that i am rational and methodical enough to figure myself out.

I am not officially diagnosed. But based on evidence from taking the tests myself, looking at the criteria of the category, reading the literature, recollection and analysis of my experiences, I am convinced that i do have AS. I do not make such a declaration lightly. I do not want to be labeled. But in my case, my past has been full of "abnormal" experiences and painful predicaments as a direct result of my abnormal behavior.

If i get an official diagnosis, then what? Get a prescription, counseling? I hate drugs and refuse to be enslaved by them, and I don't like spilling my life out to strangers (But internet is ok because i remain anonymous). I also have no money to spend on it. Anyway i attempted to "fix" myself when i was a child, without knowing what i had. I just thought i was a severe geek who really needed to stop being a severe geek. So i strongly forced myself to do everything opposite my natural tendencies through will power alone. I was a harsh dictator on myself. It was an agonizing experience over several years. I created another me. But the original me still exists.

This depends upon you. If you ever do want to get meds, yes then a diagnosis would probably be needed. But it depends on what you are meaning to accomplish. If you for example have high anxiety and can control it through stimming and not care what people think, then more power to you. But if you find yourself wanting an intimate relationship, or ever have kids, or have trouble keeping a job, then maybe you might want to reevaluate the steps you need to take in order to live an independent, thriving life. Only you can answer that, and many people here are on similar journeys. There is no One Great Answer. But there are resources out there to help, should you decide to use them. Nobody can enslave you unless you agree to it. Taking meds voluntarily or not taking meds at all or going to therapy or not are all choices as an adult you are free to make. There is nobody dictating what you should do. And there is no hierarchy of superiority in the different paths chosen.

"If I get an official diagnosis, then what?"
- better learn how to deal with the things I have problems with
- then I could start a road of family understanding how I think and why I have issues about/with some things.
- go to a support group and/or meet and make friends with the same thing

"Get a prescription, counseling? I hate drugs and refuse to be enslaved by them,"
- I understand that some people don't like prescriptions. I do appreciate them and the fact that they can help me and make me feel happier and more at ease with everyday things that normal people don't have issues with.

" I don't like spilling my life out to strangers (But internet is ok because i remain anonymous)"
- I am the same way exactly. I hope that if and when it comes time that I will be able to get myself to speak...

What? Except you have a job?
I am confused about this.
I have a diagnosis and have held down some complex, demanding and people-based jobs. There are lecturers researchers psychologists scientists, programmers, artists I could go on, one of the ones I remember seeing info about was a Nobel Prize winner for Economics, diagnosed in this late 60s.. I don't really understand why having a job excludes a diagnosis ...?
Or have I misunderstood something ?

People pay taxes regardless....would they prefer that more tax money go into military spending. I suppose I don't see what the complaint is for.....some of the tax funds go to helping people god forbid. Now then if you are faring well in life there really is no need for an official diagnoses as it would likely just cause more trouble. However there are those of us really struggling who could use the 'help' a diagnoses could bring. If you cannot function well enough to get by due to your condition a diagnoses is helpful as you can apply for disability, get medicaid and have more access to appropriate treatment.

I mean it is not like if people who needed help didn't apply for it, people wouldn't have to pay taxes anymore....the revenue used for that sort of thing would just go to something else.

I think it's safe to assume you've got it. Go ahead and print out a diploma for yourself.

Also, if you don't want to get diagnosed just realize that it becomes more challenging the older you get to get an accurate diagnosis, should ever one day in the future you change your mind. Because people's memories fail and make it harder to establish an objective personal history.