Do you ever feel that your feelings/emotions aren't real?

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Chloe33
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15 Feb 2013, 4:45 pm

ForestRose wrote:
Does anyone else here have a lot of trouble with identifying their own feelings and deciding whether they’re real – whether they’re what you’re really feeling, and would be valid in other people’s eyes?

I do. I feel like I can’t take myself seriously, and always feel that others won’t take me seriously – which has been true in the past when I’ve been unable to really express myself. At the moment I’ve just kind of completely shut down in my life and I have a family member telling me that she knows that this is because of something along the lines of anxiety/stress/depression and not just laziness or stupidity. But I don’t know. I’ve half convinced myself that I don’t feel as strongly as others; that I’m just a thousand times worse at handling what I do feel. That I just shut down for no reason.

I’m getting help soon but I’m almost sure already that I won’t be taken seriously and just end up feeling even more confused and rubbish about myself. Am I overthinking this? On one hand if they decide that what’s going on isn’t valid I’ll be left totally confused and hopeless; if they decide it is, I’ll end up feeling fake. Has anyone felt like this before? I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense.


I can identify with feeling like this also. It happens a lot and i do question my own feelings as well as that of others. I am not sure if i am
over-analzying or being cautiously paranoid at times. Then i get confused about my feelings and wonder if i have a valid reason to feel as i do it gets confusing and overwhelming at times so i try not to think about these things. Then they get to me at night when i can sleep it gets bad..



manofiron
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10 Mar 2013, 1:27 pm

Hi, im new to the forum and I hope to be able to put my point across and see what people make of it..
Hmmmm, emotions and feeling real. Having read the posts, I literally get the feeling that I live in my own world. Although I go about my day 2 day and can converse with anyone socially, even if they are a stranger, I fail to attach myself to things.
So im 39, male, moved out of home when I was 22, had a number of relationships with women, had a child whos now a teenager. Split with the mum after about 5 years and felt nothing, just thought, well that was that, I've experienced that and I didn't like it. Maybe it was the girl. I have a very close relationship with my daughter and have done so ever since I split from her mum.
I then had a few more longish relationships and when they finished, I was like ok, move on to the next as if they were nothing. All I saw them as was part of a journey. Then my mum got cancer, passed away after fighting for 2 years. I have always felt on my own, even tho I have many friends, but I feel im on a journey and sometimes, have no attachment to the people I hurt along the way in terms of relationships. I actually think I shud come with a warning sign. I will make u love me, but when I've got u, then I will take u for granted and u will feel as if ur living or in a relationship with someone who is cold, heartless and shows no emotion at anything, often been described as a 'robot'.
Please bear with me here, as your probably thinking im a horrible man who plays with womens hearts, but the thing is, I don't mean it honestly, I just don't understamd what happens after a few months, or years down the road.
Anyway, I went to seek help and ended up seeing a physiologist/shaman. He told me I had this new thing called Ceatextia???
Anyway during my time in therapy, my father then passed away, so in less than 2 years I lost both parents. I still struggle with this now, especially being that today is mothering sunday. So I ended up seeing the doc and being told I was suffering from PTSD, so was given tablets to help me feel better. I suppose they do, but it hasnt exactally helped my none existent emotions.
Although I still miss my parents, I understand that everyone dies, so I just accept it, but at the same time, it annoys me that I cant speak or see them ever again.
During this time I met a beautifuk woman who was 13 years younger than me and straight away, I was talking to her, and making her like me. So we started a relationship after about a month of meeting. However, most new relationships u end up having loads of sex to begin with, but this didn't happen as she doesn't drive and still lives with her mum. Im not one to walk into her house say hello to her mum, take my gf upto her room and have sex, im 39, not 19. I work days/nights and have lots of commitments during the weekends when I see my daughter or have other events I have to attend (I teach martial arts btw) so I hardly see my gf. However, I know she is probably the best thing that has or will ever happen to me, but I just remove myself emotionally from her. Even when we have sex, I don't feel like im making love, its as if I don't understand what love actually is. Afterall I've had about 7 long term relationships, but they all fail in the end. I never learn from any of them. My daughter is currently going thru a rough patch as a teen and all my thoughts are on her at this time, meaning I have just abandoned my gf and said, sorry, you'll just hwve to bear with me for the moment cos my daughter needs me. I spoil my daughter rotten and give her lots of attention, but she is my flesh n blood, and I see my gf as another gf. My gd says, what happened to the bloke she met, who wanted everything, marriage, kids, house etc, etc. I just reply, im crap at relationships.
I think the way I think, act, and the fact that I have been told I have caetextia that maybe long term relationships aren't for me, as I have no actually emotional attachment after a few months.
If you met any of my friends and u asked them what I was like, they would give u all positive responses, I just seem, to not care sometimes, and just live in my own reality. I've always felt like an individual, ever since a child, even with an older brother. I have no attachment to him or his family. My extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, I really don't bother with them, they have no room in my world, I am blind to their lives.
Anyway, as this is my first post, you've probably fallen asleep by now. I often get told I can waffle for ages.
Anyway, if anyone would like to comment, good or bad, I would like to hear what you make of my life in a nutshell.
Thanks



YaminoKittykate
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10 Mar 2013, 2:05 pm

I have high functioning autism where as my brother has aspergers. The maine difference with this topic between us is that he doesnt have or understand feelings at all whereas I feel everythi.g with such intensityi get so overwhelmed I end up melting down. At times when it get bad enough I just shut out all emotions. I dont fully understand what each thing I feel means so when people ask I cant answer and that makes it seem as if my emotions are just fake. I dont know if either of those are like what you are going through. But those are the differences I have noticed between the two.



MjrMajorMajor
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10 Mar 2013, 2:20 pm

Looking into your diagnosis of caetextia, I wouldn't hinge your experiences too much on that term. It looks like a fancy name for a simple concept that seems universal to everyone on the spectrum.



manofiron
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10 Mar 2013, 3:25 pm

Thank you both for the speedy replies.
My brother keeps everything to himself and never opens up. He is also an alcoholic and won't recognise this as he has a structure to his life, which includes a high level job, he's private school educated, and once he's home he just cracks open a can, he says he has to have 8 minimum per evening. He definitely suffers from something and I've mentioned he should go and speak with someonr but he just says 'he's fine'
FYI, I used to smoke cigs n weed. Not much of a drinker but wud divulge with pals and end up having some coke as well. However I haven't had anything since my father passed in oct 2011.
I do wonder about this term Caetextia, which is somewhere on the spectrum however, there are certain things I don't relate to n others I do...but one thing I know in myself is that I find it hard to show any emotion or feeling towards other people, accept my daughter. I try to show compassion to people but I'm just kidding myself, cos I feel nothing