What are some common social cues that you don't catch?

Post Reply New Topic

Explain a situation of a social cue that you didn't catch? How did everybody react?

Okay, recently my psychologist pointed out to me that she stands up near the end of the appointment and moves toward me and that's a cue for me to leave. She didn't get upset or anything.....she just explained it to me when I was talking about social problems...so not after it actually happened. She wasn't upset but then again she's my psychologist.....

I honest to God have never struggled on picking up on social cues; I've always been on the ball with this. I read people and their every action and facial expression pretty much exact. My problem is more in how I relate to people... keeping a conversation going without awkward pauses or me breaking out into a rash on my neck because I feel like I'm "failing" socially is the biggest struggle. I also struggle when to end a conversation which can get overwhelmingly awkward and embarrassing and I can see on the other person face they're thinking "is she slow or something?" - when I just pause and look at them for ten seconds not knowing what to say. Which is brutal.

I should say I'm not "Asperger's"; I have a childhood diagnosis of PDD-NOS but honestly I'm only mildly affected truth be told buut even that still totally f*cks with my life regardless.

The keep going, I'm interested que.

It always wierd me out when people act like this.

It's not that I don't get it, it's just I never understand why it happens.

I guess long story short I'm so use to people being disinterested it's hard to deal.

A better example and a more embarrassing one:when I was 13 I went to a school dance. A boy came up to me and held out his hand for me to come dance with him (I presume). I tried to shake his hand and then he laughed and held out his hand a little longer. I did nothing......didn't know what he wanted....I though maybe it was a high five...I'd gotten wrong whether someone wanted to hand shake or high five before....but I didn't want to get it wrong and embarrass myself so I did nothing. He laughed..hard...then walked away. I thought about it and realized a little while later-still at the dance -what he must have wanted and I was really upset.

I don't know, I don't catch them.

Seriously, it's hard to say what I'm missing unless someone else points it out.

I've had similar experiences. I always have a problem figuring out when it's time to leave or stay.

Yes, so have I, - and it is SO embarrassing

I don't know. Maybe that's the problem?

Actually most of the ones that were pointed out to me had to do with me not realizing people wanted me to go away. Even when I worked in a daycare I had to be told by another staff member that a little girl was "telling me"( with body language) that she wanted her space. Maybe I should just generally leave people alone more.

Um... the only ones that really still apply are romantic. I don't know when to touch someone, when to hug them, when to kiss them... so I don't.

Other than that, my biggest problem is conversation flow. I speak too soon, or run out of things to say. I have an annoying habit of explaining everything in one or two sentences, so I have no idea what to say next, or how to cue someone that it's their turn.

hard to say, i dont know any social cues

I really think I am getting social cues but I only find out much later that I didn't--usually through someone else who observed it.

The one I've been told about is that I don't notice when I hurt someone's feelings or pissed them off, which I tend to do without meaning so . Later on I'll have somebody saying "You know you hurt their feelings, right?" "Didn't you see the look on their face, you made them upset." I always feel like crap after and it's painfully hard to apologize, not because I don't wanna own up to my mistakes but because it's a social thing to do and embarassing I do stuff like that.

Others I'm unaware of pretty much, but I think I suck at picking up when someone isn't interested in what I have to say, and when people are inviting me into their group/trying to befriend me. And this isn't really a social cue, but I suck at understanding sarcasm.

Conversational flow and timing. I interrupt people a lot in conversation, I find. Aside from that, my biggest issue involves knowing how/when to keep conversation going, or shifting from one topic to another--or sometimes even starting conversation. I didn't realize until fairly recently that I'm not supposed to let the other person guide the conversation in casual social encounters--I'm supposed to ask questions and engage the other person too. My mom introduced me to some cousins I never met some time back, and told me I was rude later on because I didn't say anything to them. I didn't know I was supposed to say something, and I had nothing to say anyway.

Not saying the right things in situations seems to be an issue sometimes. A co-worker pointed out to me that I don't always say "thank you" when it's expected, for example.

Early on at my current job, I didn't seem to get the idea of "I'm busy, go away." Coworkers had to occasionally shoo me away from their desk.

Also: Identifying someone's mood based on their body language is something I don't always pick up readily. Someone might point out how another person looks stressed or anxious or relaxed or what-have-you, and I will have no idea what they're talking about.

I can't distinguish between the cues someone gives when they're romantically interested and those of people just being nice. Combined with my low confidence, I don't date.